IMO....the methadone merely masked your addiction issues. At some point you need to get into recovery. The urge is still there for a couple of reasons...1. Your probably not feeling to hot with the taper so none of us like to feel sick 2. Have you dealt with any of the issues that got you in this position to begin with?
You need to learn new coping mechanisms...these don't come naturally, they're learned. Finding some type of recovery program will help with this. I chose N/A myself, but there are numerous groups to choose from.
Don't give in to that urge...FIND RECOVERY TO SMACK THE CRAP OUT OF THAT URGE!!!! BE A WARRIOR!
SaraAnn, this is why Debbie/atthebeach suggested going to some type of support group on your other thread. Even seeing an Addictions Therapist or a counselor one-on-one would help you. You'd have a place to talk about the underlying issues that you've been masking with drugs. You could learn relapse prevention tools. Going to a group like NA or AA would be a great place to meet other women who have walked in your shoes. You said you were shy and scared. That is very normal. You can just listen when you go the first time. You will be drawn to someone that you can talk to and receive support from. Going that first time is the hardest, but you'll wonder when you leave your first meeting why it took you so long to go. You're trying to do this alone. It doesn't work. Being around other recovering addicts will HELP you in a way you cannot imagine. I found I liked women's meetings the best. But that's just me. I wasn't looking to hook up with anybody like some women were/are. Other recovering addicts will understand everything you're going through and will come along side you. Please dig deep and find the courage to go to a meeting. And private therapy of some kind would help you too but doesn't necessarily replace being in the company of other recovering addicts. It's a HUGE red flag that you are craving percocets….time to do something new and learn how to avoid a relapse.