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Need support to kick percocet habit
Hello everyone,
If someone ever told me that I would be writing into one of these forums re drug withdrawl, I would've thought they were absolutely crazy! I am a 43 year old woman - teacher, wife and mother of 3 young children, who has been taking percocet for a back problem for approximately 6 years now. It started with a buldged disc, piriformis syndrome and sciatica, followed by intense PT, months off work, and initially occasional use of the painkillers to what is now an intense desire to use them for more than painrelief. I started taking them opccasionally, to then getting a prescription once every couple of months, to my present cycle, which has escalated to getting my prescription filled (100 pills of 5/325s), taking the pills (4-12 a day) until almost gone, then using the remaining 10-15 to "wean" myself. I would feel withdrawal symptoms for the next several days (intense sleepiness, body aches, sleeplessness, agitation) and then after a couple of weeks, would call in for another prescription refill to be faxed to my pharmacy. (My doctor had no problem with this, which now I am more than resentful over!!!)
My husband knew I was taking the pills, and voiced concern over the years, but he has no idea how completely dependent I had become on them and still has no idea how many refills I have actually had. Besides, I always made him feel that I was taking them "responsibly". I had been thinking about stopping for some time now. But last night, as I lay awake thinking about the final 7 pills I have left, I overthought the idea of having only these few pills left so much, that I literally could not sleep for hours, finally got up, called myself in sick for work and decided then and there that I have to stop taking these pills for good! My husband, who goes to work in the wee hours of the morning, got a surprise call from me at 5 a.m. when I confessed that I needed his help with getting off these things for good. It took sooo much for me to admit to him that I needed help (because I had always hidden my withdrawl symptoms from him and chalked them up to a cold or flu), but after I told him, I felt the weight of the world finally off my shoulders!!!!!! I had no idea that sharing my problem with someone would feel so good!!!!
After getting my kids off to school this morning, I also decided to call my doctor. Again, not something I would ever have dreamed I would do. Anyway, he was not in his office today, so I admitted my overwhelming feelings and my need for some help to the receptionist and she took my message and said he'll call me tomorrow evening. Again, I feel so good about calling him.
I guess I am writing today for two reasons....I'm wondering what's in store for me with regard to having my doctor help me in the weaning process (what exactly will it entail???), to hearing some words of support from this community. I am adamant that I will not tell anyone else in my family. I would be too embarrassed to admit this to anyone else, but knowing that I have my husband's and doctor's support means the world to me!!!! But I really need your encouraging words too!!!!!
desperatewifemother
If someone ever told me that I would be writing into one of these forums re drug withdrawl, I would've thought they were absolutely crazy! I am a 43 year old woman - teacher, wife and mother of 3 young children, who has been taking percocet for a back problem for approximately 6 years now. It started with a buldged disc, piriformis syndrome and sciatica, followed by intense PT, months off work, and initially occasional use of the painkillers to what is now an intense desire to use them for more than painrelief. I started taking them opccasionally, to then getting a prescription once every couple of months, to my present cycle, which has escalated to getting my prescription filled (100 pills of 5/325s), taking the pills (4-12 a day) until almost gone, then using the remaining 10-15 to "wean" myself. I would feel withdrawal symptoms for the next several days (intense sleepiness, body aches, sleeplessness, agitation) and then after a couple of weeks, would call in for another prescription refill to be faxed to my pharmacy. (My doctor had no problem with this, which now I am more than resentful over!!!)
My husband knew I was taking the pills, and voiced concern over the years, but he has no idea how completely dependent I had become on them and still has no idea how many refills I have actually had. Besides, I always made him feel that I was taking them "responsibly". I had been thinking about stopping for some time now. But last night, as I lay awake thinking about the final 7 pills I have left, I overthought the idea of having only these few pills left so much, that I literally could not sleep for hours, finally got up, called myself in sick for work and decided then and there that I have to stop taking these pills for good! My husband, who goes to work in the wee hours of the morning, got a surprise call from me at 5 a.m. when I confessed that I needed his help with getting off these things for good. It took sooo much for me to admit to him that I needed help (because I had always hidden my withdrawl symptoms from him and chalked them up to a cold or flu), but after I told him, I felt the weight of the world finally off my shoulders!!!!!! I had no idea that sharing my problem with someone would feel so good!!!!
After getting my kids off to school this morning, I also decided to call my doctor. Again, not something I would ever have dreamed I would do. Anyway, he was not in his office today, so I admitted my overwhelming feelings and my need for some help to the receptionist and she took my message and said he'll call me tomorrow evening. Again, I feel so good about calling him.
I guess I am writing today for two reasons....I'm wondering what's in store for me with regard to having my doctor help me in the weaning process (what exactly will it entail???), to hearing some words of support from this community. I am adamant that I will not tell anyone else in my family. I would be too embarrassed to admit this to anyone else, but knowing that I have my husband's and doctor's support means the world to me!!!! But I really need your encouraging words too!!!!!
desperatewifemother
Ok, just checking on you to see how things are going. I hope your doctor is helping you! Just remember, by this time next week you will be feeling so much better! You will be amazed how you thought you were really participating in your life, but you really were not! I was cranky, short tempered with my kids, and I never took less than a moment to settle down and enjoy everything going on a round me. I worried about running out of meds, I planned vacations around refills, I can't believe I was living like that! Hang in there hon.
M.
M.
Hello..
I agree with others, the dose your on is not that high, you will suffer through Detox, but it seems to be the next logical step..
I think its important to not blame your doctor. Its important to realize that you are responsible .. if you need to be angry with anything, be angry at Percocet and the Addiction ..
I am new to this (Clean) ... I quit because I was fed up and just didn't care anymore..
I recall saying to myself that if Detox kills me, that will be fine.. I blame myself 100%.. over 10 years I have come up with every excuse in the world for not stopping..
I am fortunate to take 3 holidays each year.. yet for many years I would tell myself that I didn't have time to Detox.. Its was a fabrication, an excuse to keep using..
I remember being angry with my first doctor, who gave me Dilaudid and Percocet for an obvious and real blinding pain that lasted months.. yet when the pain subsided.. it was me who kept going back .. It was me who took Percocet when it didn't hurt real bad anymore..
I remember telling myself that I will take this pill so that if it does start to hurt again, I will be ready .. I did that for years.. lol I would take one first thing.. throughout the day, and then at bedtime.. Just in case the pain came back ..
I remember stubbing my toe or getting a mild headache and grabbing the strongest pain killer I could find.. Usually TL#3 or Percocet..
I went to see a Detox Councilor and Nurse today. The last couple weeks before I detoxed, it appears I was using almost 200mg of Oxycontin per day.. Add that to 11 years of using and it appears I am having, and had, what the nurse added up to a " Serious Withdrawal " ..
You have to blame yourself.. and you have to mean it .. otherwise you might be preparing your excuse for starting up again.. After all, it wont be your fault..
I agree with others, the dose your on is not that high, you will suffer through Detox, but it seems to be the next logical step..
I think its important to not blame your doctor. Its important to realize that you are responsible .. if you need to be angry with anything, be angry at Percocet and the Addiction ..
I am new to this (Clean) ... I quit because I was fed up and just didn't care anymore..
I recall saying to myself that if Detox kills me, that will be fine.. I blame myself 100%.. over 10 years I have come up with every excuse in the world for not stopping..
I am fortunate to take 3 holidays each year.. yet for many years I would tell myself that I didn't have time to Detox.. Its was a fabrication, an excuse to keep using..
I remember being angry with my first doctor, who gave me Dilaudid and Percocet for an obvious and real blinding pain that lasted months.. yet when the pain subsided.. it was me who kept going back .. It was me who took Percocet when it didn't hurt real bad anymore..
I remember telling myself that I will take this pill so that if it does start to hurt again, I will be ready .. I did that for years.. lol I would take one first thing.. throughout the day, and then at bedtime.. Just in case the pain came back ..
I remember stubbing my toe or getting a mild headache and grabbing the strongest pain killer I could find.. Usually TL#3 or Percocet..
I went to see a Detox Councilor and Nurse today. The last couple weeks before I detoxed, it appears I was using almost 200mg of Oxycontin per day.. Add that to 11 years of using and it appears I am having, and had, what the nurse added up to a " Serious Withdrawal " ..
You have to blame yourself.. and you have to mean it .. otherwise you might be preparing your excuse for starting up again.. After all, it wont be your fault..
I also fel ur pain....also know we take responsibilty for our abuse...telling ur hubby is a good thing`...and u r, lucky u have him for supprt
Blaming the dr???dunno bout that one...if u told him u felt addicted and he continued to tease u with refills//then perhaps///if u did then he is a very crooked dr//fact is most peeps do not become addicted to narcotics or they would be off the market//u did//and if u did not tell him, then he is not to blame///blame is not the issue here///it is u///ur getting better is the issue
u r taking 5s//not a whole lot///300 mgs in 2 weeks is still not outrageous as some here take that dose each day//what u r trying to do is very do-able///for sure
U did not state whether u were an addict or not? makes a difference cos if u r not ur wd will be over and u will be fine...if u craved them, or used them to feel "normal" then u r in for a longer ride which includes mental wds as well..which is the hard part....doesnt mean u r weak if u were mentally addicted as well as physically///i am not weak and this i know//just mostly depends on ur brain's make up...either way//sounds like u have a plan.,..and posting here can only help u///great place to be//have u read the thomas recipe in the health pages?
Blaming the dr???dunno bout that one...if u told him u felt addicted and he continued to tease u with refills//then perhaps///if u did then he is a very crooked dr//fact is most peeps do not become addicted to narcotics or they would be off the market//u did//and if u did not tell him, then he is not to blame///blame is not the issue here///it is u///ur getting better is the issue
u r taking 5s//not a whole lot///300 mgs in 2 weeks is still not outrageous as some here take that dose each day//what u r trying to do is very do-able///for sure
U did not state whether u were an addict or not? makes a difference cos if u r not ur wd will be over and u will be fine...if u craved them, or used them to feel "normal" then u r in for a longer ride which includes mental wds as well..which is the hard part....doesnt mean u r weak if u were mentally addicted as well as physically///i am not weak and this i know//just mostly depends on ur brain's make up...either way//sounds like u have a plan.,..and posting here can only help u///great place to be//have u read the thomas recipe in the health pages?
Detox won't kill you.
Keep reading old posts. It's quite common for people to cold turkey from 10 times the amount you are taking so relax. It's not going to feel good but you will get through it if determined enough. The duration of your physical suffering should be at the lower end of the scale given your habit is not large.
Don't panic, keep posting and ask questions if you're worried about things. People are great here and will always help you out.
bob
Keep reading old posts. It's quite common for people to cold turkey from 10 times the amount you are taking so relax. It's not going to feel good but you will get through it if determined enough. The duration of your physical suffering should be at the lower end of the scale given your habit is not large.
Don't panic, keep posting and ask questions if you're worried about things. People are great here and will always help you out.
bob
Thank you for your encouraging words! I have just taken my last 2 pills and am still waiting for my doctor to call so, in a nutshell, I am anxiety-ridden! Not so much at the thought of being without my pills, but at the thought of going through another night wondering if he will call and not having his support in some form of a weaning process. I will be in bad shape tomorrow if he deosn't call tonight and have something for me for them. I think I can through the work day, but I will need something by dinner time for sure! What do I do if he doesn't call??????? I am afraid of going into some kind of bad detox reaction with the pills being taken away cold turkey!!!! Is that possible??????
Hey there,
Most of us know about the obssessive counting of pills and days on the calendar. Your sleepless night about your remaining pills speaks volumes.
The good news is your dose is not too high. That does NOT mean you won't feel withdrawal symptoms but the severity and length will be doable.
The fact you have involved your husband and Doctor are both great signs that you are committed to this process. Stay here and read and learn everything you can about withdrawal for someone with a similar habit as yours. Ask lots of questions.
You only need to do this ONE more time if you do it right. Get the Thomas recipe items in te bottom right of this page, some swear by them. Each thing you do will increase your odds a little bit that you succeed.
Stay busy during detox, the best advice I ever received. Lying in bed is a great way to think about pills nonstop. Staying busy steals you minutes from the clock when they are ticking like hours.
I am sure your Doctor will recommend some typ of program. You at least owe it to yourself to look into it.
Tapering is a cruel game that can be exponentially obssessive and next to impossible for an addict to follow. Remember, your Doctor has likely very little real personal experience with addiction. Please keep this in mind if he suggests a taper. In all likelihood, if you choose this method you will need to have someone dispense them to you.
Very happy for your decision!!!!
Goodluck and Godspeed,
bob
Most of us know about the obssessive counting of pills and days on the calendar. Your sleepless night about your remaining pills speaks volumes.
The good news is your dose is not too high. That does NOT mean you won't feel withdrawal symptoms but the severity and length will be doable.
The fact you have involved your husband and Doctor are both great signs that you are committed to this process. Stay here and read and learn everything you can about withdrawal for someone with a similar habit as yours. Ask lots of questions.
You only need to do this ONE more time if you do it right. Get the Thomas recipe items in te bottom right of this page, some swear by them. Each thing you do will increase your odds a little bit that you succeed.
Stay busy during detox, the best advice I ever received. Lying in bed is a great way to think about pills nonstop. Staying busy steals you minutes from the clock when they are ticking like hours.
I am sure your Doctor will recommend some typ of program. You at least owe it to yourself to look into it.
Tapering is a cruel game that can be exponentially obssessive and next to impossible for an addict to follow. Remember, your Doctor has likely very little real personal experience with addiction. Please keep this in mind if he suggests a taper. In all likelihood, if you choose this method you will need to have someone dispense them to you.
Very happy for your decision!!!!
Goodluck and Godspeed,
bob
Hey Hon,
I am just like you! I am on the other side of coming off of those little evil pills, and I feel great! I started taking 5mg DHEA right before I stopped, then a antidepresant. I felt so much better coming off without many physical withdrawals. The mental part is the tough part of all. Take your vitamins, lots of fruits and veggies. I thought I needed them for energy and to do my job and take care of my family. Doing all of that WITHOUT the pills is more meaningful now. You may not see that in the very beginning due to your cravings, but your life will be better and you will get back to being YOU! Let me know what your doctor said, and I will help you out as much as I can!!!! You can do this!
M.
I am just like you! I am on the other side of coming off of those little evil pills, and I feel great! I started taking 5mg DHEA right before I stopped, then a antidepresant. I felt so much better coming off without many physical withdrawals. The mental part is the tough part of all. Take your vitamins, lots of fruits and veggies. I thought I needed them for energy and to do my job and take care of my family. Doing all of that WITHOUT the pills is more meaningful now. You may not see that in the very beginning due to your cravings, but your life will be better and you will get back to being YOU! Let me know what your doctor said, and I will help you out as much as I can!!!! You can do this!
M.
Man.. I can just hear the pain in your voice as I read you post... many here will support you... I do know about the shame thing but the sense of peace you will feel when you're done is sooooooooooo much better than anything else you ever felt before... this problem is no respector of persons... husbands, wives, mothers, career oriented .. it doesn't matter anyone can fall prey to it .. and most don't even mean to it just happens and before you know it you're in this place that you struggle with now... many people here will support and encourage you so read some posts and let people talk you through anything you may have questions with...
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