6 weeks tomorrow!!! Has it been that long?

[Madmax88]

Ha anyways just a positive post I guess, if anyone doesn't know my story I was on about 12-15 hydrocodiens a day over a 3 year addiction ( of course I worked myself up to that high dose). Got to love those trust worthy doctors huh?? Anyways tomorrow will be 42 days and i can't wait to see another day added to that number!! I had a huge scare a few days ago where I thought I slipped up and took some cough syrup medicine that actually had Codien in it, after beating myself up for hours I realized I just took some medicine for a cold!! That addict brain really does play tricks on you!! I was wanting to releaspe because of it but after pouring it out (unaware of its presence in my house) I got on here and immediately posted the situation and called my NA sponser. Now that I'm able to look back I see how even if you something like that happens you don't have to fall back into the addiction just continue on with what your doing and your body/Brain will let you forget about it a few days later!! Anyways on average I get about 6 hours of sleep each night and that is average, I still have my 4 hour nights as well. Every day I feel the urge to nap around 3 (although I cant) I love that my body wants to shut down and sleep. Motivation comes and go, you don't understand when people on this forum say " get out and exercise" when your in early stages of recovery. Though I'm just now able to understand what they mean, when your active all day your no longer an addict your a person living life!! It isn't until your in your head relaxing when you become an addict again!!! All physical w/d are gone I haven't had any in weeks!! The craving come and go but it's getting harder and harder to recognize them with aftercare!! The only thing I can honestly complain about is my mood swings, I have a hard time dealing with stupidity and seems to be everywhere these days and boy can I snap... I didn't realize how bad my temper can get without these emotionless pills, I guess it's been so long since I've delt with life naturally im still learning how to cope with it. Also would love more sleep but I remember the first 3 weeks so I don't want to complain about that lol. I feel like this motto is the key motto to addiction/recovery " things didn't get a whole lot better, things just got real clear".. I love that meaning life's still life it's going to be a struggle day in and day out but now with sobriety you can attack it head on with a sober mind!!! When I got past my month marker I felt like life came crashing down on me I had so many things going on my dads dying and work and bills the whole sha-bang and it was to much to comphrhend at that early star of recovery but it has to happen sometime right? I was tired of putting off life so I've been attacking it with a sober mind now for weeks and few things get better each passing day and the reward of that is enough to never want to go back to pills!!! Na isn't for everyone and if your one of those people that don't like it then all I can say is I hope and pray you get through it!! I've heard so many successful stories of people who beat their addiction without AA/NA and I love it. Though I used to think I was one of those people, until I got a sponser. Having a sponser is just the best thing you can have while in recovery!!! I strongly advice everyone to find one, having someone to care for you and understand your situation that isn't judgmental that's on call for YOU 24/7 is a hell of a thing!! They should be paid for that job lol!! Anyways life's life and I'm still here and each passing day does get better. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to forget I was an addict (durring the day) and my sponser says that's where NA helps the most when things get so good again you'll start to think you can handle your DOC again and that's the addiction still in you. I wouldn't have ever thought about it like that if it wasn't for NA. I'm just trying to help some of yall understand the importance of NA, it isn't a feel sorry for yourself group a complain about life group. It's a hey " we've been there next time that happens do this and watch out for this in the future" type group and if you don't think that's for you then you my friend are either blind or a rare breed!!! To everyone that's been here for awhile always helping others you are a sponser and you all should be getting paid too!!! Lol yall have a good night!

[Stungbythebee]

Hey Max. I'm so happy to hear your story. I'm on day 15 and struggling. But I get on here every night and I find hope every time!!! And you, my friend, are my hope for tonight. Thank you so much!!! You are doing great even when your father is dying. Very commendable!!! As VIC always says, "GUARD UP!!"  Thanks again for hope!!
BEE

[spider6]

Great post max!...,.inspiring.  Honey,...can you put your work in paragraphs?.....it's much too hard for me to read all bunched together like that.  Rock on whicho bad self! ((((8))))

[Madmax88]

Well on day 46, crazy how the days are stacking up and I'm barely keeping up with the number!  I've always been called madmax ha and it fit so well here. Vick your telling me, and I'm loving it!!

[VICourageous]

Congrats on 6 weeks!
Wow!! That went bye fast!
Always know that it will take just that one to spark your (Brain)Addiction back up. Always were that Armour against this Disease at all times.

Very Happy for You & how you are working it to stay clean. It works if you work it!!

Bless

[Frogger76]

Hey there! Congrats on 6 weeks, that's awesome! Keep it up my friend! Btw~ Love your screen name, we call my nephew that, lol.

[Madmax88]

Cricket I think we all " want life to stop" for a bit while getting clean lol, o how I relate to that comment more than you know!! I couldn't agree more about AA/NA, stungbythebee im glad to hear it, hopefully your still doing alright, I remember the first 25 days were the worst mentally for me after 31 days I feel like I was normal enough to function in society. Every day after day 21 got a lot better how are you doing?

[Cricketk92]

Congratulations on 6 weeks!!!  That is wonderful and you sound like you are doing the right thing!!
It is amazing that we find that life keeps going on even when we are in the throes of our detox and beginning of recovery!  I just wanted life to stop for a little while so I could catch up but it didn't...  And I agree that is where aftercare comes in and helps us get through!
I go to AA even though my DOC is opiates.  There were just more AA meetings than NA around me and heck I'm an alcoholic too so it works for me!  I can tell you that once I worked through the 12 steps... allowed God to take control, cleaned some of the destruction up from my past and started giving to others...I found that the obsession and most of the cravings were lifted! And the mood swings really will get better as long as you keep doing the right thing!  Your body/brain are still healing!!!  Be patient with yourself!!!   It is a process but for those of us who choose AA/NA as aftercare and work the program it is like a miracle!  It's a daily choice for me and some days I flounder around until I ask for help whether that's from God or others but it works for me!!!  I believe that whatever form of aftercare someone chooses can work for them as long as it has a support system and helps you to learn/maintain to live a better/different life!  
So HURRAY for you on your clean time!!!  Keep doing awesome!!!  ♡