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Avatar universal

New here, help please!

I have been addicted to oxycontin for 3 yrs. I snort about 140 mgs a day. I quit before cold turkey. Felt like I was dying and even fainted at one point. I lasted about a month but couldn't stand the depression. I've always suffered from depression and anxiety but this was really bad. I relapsed and now I'm thinking about using methadone to get off these things and maybe by doing a taper off methadone the depression won't be as severe.. I hope. I could never taper off oxy but feel I can off methadone. I get no high from methadone (I have several methadone pills stashed for when I run out of oxy) so I think I could use it short term to get off oxys. Has anyone tried this? I'm afraid to go ct again, I don think my body can physically handle it and I think this might be the best option to finally get off pills. I am the mother to two beautiful kids and feel so much shame from what I've become. I really hate myself and if not for my kids I think I'd just kill myself rather then go through this living hell anymore. I'm just so sick of it. I don't even get much of a buzz of the stupid things despite the large amounts I do. I get a prescription for my back pain but of course that's gone in a few days and I have spent so much money it's sickening. I just want to be free from them but the mental hell that awaits really is discouraging me from breaking free but I know I have to try. I really hope I can lessen the depression by tapering off methadone as opposed to ct. Please give me some advice. I feel like such a hopeless case.
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Avatar universal
Not sure why this posted twice and I don't know how to delete the other one...
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Avatar universal
Is anyone out there??
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1283286 tn?1312911966
Slow down,,your expecting instant attention and that can be a big mental letdown for you..WD's from the oxy's are tough, but there are things you can do and take to lesson the impact..I don't have enough time to get more indepth at present ,but sit back and relax if possible. Everything you describe is normal and you will get plenty of suggestions shortly..:)
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Avatar universal
Hi~   I've never taken Methadone but I'm close with several who have. If you absolutely can't quit without relapse,then I guess that's your next choice. Just do the research and get with a good clinic that offers recovery support,as well.  Don't get it from the streets.

There are withdrawals with Methadone when you get down to lower mgs.  Really think about it. Okay?

Now,if you get with a doctor, he/she can help you.  There are meds that help with cold turkey. There are plenty of OTC's that can help.  Maybe you need an antidepressant for a short time.    Remember,Methadone is a powerful opiate,as well.

When you detox,it's really important ( I think ) to have a doctor on board. Also,you should prepare your body ahead of time.  Beef up on vitamins.  Be sure you take a good multi vit,extra vit C and the B's,iron,magnesium and potassium.  You need to keep your fluids up and get enough protein everyday.

Think it over...others will post. I'm sure Gnarly will see this post and he's an expert !!

Vicki
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1283286 tn?1312911966
One thing I believe is ok for me to say is "methadone" is not a direction you want to go or even consider..Talking with a doctor about a taper program would be worth while if your too afraid of doing a ct. The thing about doing a taper is you live in a semi state of wd during that period. The first 4 days of oxy wd are rough,,but doable. With a little preparation this time, I believe you will find it would not be as bad..It wasn't for me..:)
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Avatar universal
I agree with Dav125......WHAT EVER YOU DO....DO NOT GET ON METHADONE!!!!  All methadone does is replace one semi-potent opiate with a heavy-heavy opiate.  Comparing Oxy to Methadone is like comparing a firecracker to a nucleur bomb!  I allowed myself to go from a hydro, oxy, and pretty much anything I could find to a methadone habit.  Getting off methadone (which has to happen eventually) is one of the worst experiences you can go through......WAY WORSE than ANY OTHER opiate detox you can think of.  Once on methadone you are basically stuck and for life if you go longer than a few years.....Detox at that point have to be done at a hospital or an incare facility.  Detoxing off of Oxy is going to be tough but it will not last long....You can make it through this process if you can commit to being miserable for a week to two weeks.....Like everyone on here will tell you that aftercare support is the only way....Not all of us listen to our own advice but please head my warning.......NO METHADONE!!!! It will be the dumbest thing you could ever do (besides gettting on opiates in the first place)!  :)
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Avatar universal
Just to clarify I don't want to stay on methadone long term, just a few weeks to taper off. And I wasn't expecting instant attention but after an hour of no responses I wanted to make sure it was working because I posted twice by accident and thought something messed up.

My plan is to go to a methadone clinc and tell them my plan and see if they'll help me. Vicky I think your idea about loading up on vitamins is great. I currently don't take good care of myself. I don't eat right at all and do way too many pills. I just want off this roller coaster from hell. I've been through a lot trying to get off and just can't seem to. Like I said I did get clean for a short while but I think going ct as opposed to taper makes the depression that follows way worse. My theory is that if I wean off methadone maybe, just maybe the depression won't be so intense. I don't wanna live like this anymore but some days I think I'm too far gone and feel so hopeless!!
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Avatar universal
Do you think that going on methadone just for a couple weeks to taper is bad? It seems like my only choice. I could go ct but I know that the depression that follows will be really really bad. Not "I feel sad" depression, more like if I had a gun I'd use it depression. My idea is that by using methadone short term I could taper and maybe the depression won't be as severe. I don't know for sure but I think it's worth a shot.
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1283286 tn?1312911966
Hey, most everyone who has found this site where in a state of hopelessness. Myself included..But guess what? It isn't hopeless! It really isn't..Its a combination of the ill feelings of wd's and the depression. If you made it a month once though, the depression issue is more than likely the one you need to focus on with a doctor once you get by the oxy wd's..Sure, the oxy's helped keep the depression in check, but its not a long term solution..So change that thinking..There is hope!
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1283286 tn?1312911966
Really, on the taper methadone question you need to get with a doctor, clinic or some health care proffesional..I tell you this because the forum people have placed a "no,no" on answering your question about if we think it would be ok...Thats a big rule in here....A remember,,there is hope!
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Avatar universal
I really hope you get a hold of the self-loathing. It will do you no good. Right now your chemicals are out of balance and they are controlling your mood. As everyone has said, this is completely possible. I was in a very similar situation as you. I just sent you a message with my personal experience. I hope it helps.

Just be careful with the self destructive words. You are a very important person to those two kids of yours. You are definitely NOT a hopeless case. If I can do this so can you.

All the best.
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Avatar universal
HI.... well I dont think you will beet the post withdrawal depression with methadone and the withdrawal off methadone is a lot more sever then oxy....now we have had a few members try short term methadone but none have stayed in touch with me so I cant tell you how it is long term coming off it that way.....I can tell you this once your on it at a clinic they tend to want to keep you on it and its very ez to stay on it long term and thats when it will become a huge problem coming off it...I can also tell you this... those that took it short term came to the forum
seeking shelter from the hard withdrawals asking questions like how much longer till I feel better so the withdrawal is sever if you stay on it any amount of time...after being on it for 6 1/2yrs I tell people to run the other way unless you jamming a needle in your arm it dose save lives but it is oversubscribed now you and only you know how bad your oxy habit is...if your able to kick C/T then do it ....I dont think methadone is a good fit for you
if all your trying to do is beet the depression...just know this depression is just part of the withdrawal experience for many if it dosent go away after a mo or 2 you can go to a doctor and get put on an antidepressant...just know that it may take a wile to get well not everybody come bouncing back after a month...it took me 90days to start to feel better after I quit the methadone  that why im telling you to stay away from it...just be realistic about your recovery it can be a wile b/4 your well again you dident become an addict over night you wont recover overnight ether....I wish you the best of luck on your recovery...also to truly recover it takes aftercare you need to retrain the brain how to think both N/A and A/A have good programs and there both free if not that a addiction therapist or consolor can help but you need to seek help to learn the tools and skills that it takes to stay clean...getting clean is the ez part it staying that way that take the work
keep posting for support and reading the post...if you have any other questions consirning methadone ask them and I will try and answer them for you.....Gnarly      
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Avatar universal
Ok well let me put it another way, has anyone had success in using methadone short term to get off oxy and how did you go about doing it? It's so hard to believe that I'm not completely hopeless. But I'll try and be positive and think that there is a way out of this hell I created for myself. I'm fighting for my life, I have to. I have 2 kids that need me. I'm also a newly single mom and just got out of a very bad relationship with a selfish man who was very detrimental to me and the kids. He caused me a lot of pain and hopefully now that I've finally broken free from him I can take the next step at fixing my screwed up life and break free from these pills. God give me the strength. I'm so scared to keep going, afraid I might go to sleep and not wake up one day. I can't do that to my kids.. I'm all they really have.
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617347 tn?1331293081
hey, Back 2 life....i know it iis scary but  you will be all right, stay here, you are not alone in this fight !!  feed yourself with positive thinking, quitting is the best decision you could have taken and there is no turning back ...you are talking of doing a taper of with the methadone, maybe you could do it with your doc too, in any case ask for help and go to a doctor to get another opinion .. there are some stuff to take that can help you through wds, you could ask your doctor for something, and read the health pages ( on the right side of the screen) the amino acid protocol  and the thomas recipe.... take what you may need and leave the rest , i know there are a lot of stuff there... keep posting your questions and we will try helping you... Good luck :)
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Avatar universal
Hey!!   Listen to me...You need to get yourself some help here.  You seem waaaay too depressed and hopeless to me.   This is not the end of your world. Believe me!  It's a
problem that can be fixed and in short order.

To me, Methadone is not the answer for you.  On top of everything else,it's a pain in the butt!!  Getting up EVERYDAY, at the crack of dawn, to get dosed, would get old pretty quickly!!

Please,don't try to do this on your own. Get with your doctor!!  I said this before: He/she can help you and it's not going to be as bad as you think!!  We can help you,also. There are so many smart and caring people on this forum who will support you all the way!

Make an appt. okay?

Vicki
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Avatar universal
Also,I've known several people on Methadone therapy. Probably more than several...

Not ONE of them was on for the short term. It just never seemed to work out that way.

Once you begin at a clinic,THEY are in charge. Not you.  They will determine how much you receive daily and when you will taper.  Please make some calls and educate yourself on the pros and cons.
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1283286 tn?1312911966
You've got to stop that "too far gone" talk as well..I know what that is too along with virtually everyother individual in here. Your caught in that "I want to let go but don't know how" leading to more depressive thoughts because of how afraid you are of life after pills. Tell me, what was life like before pills? Ok, then why can't you have that back being you "know" you did fine before those days...Come on, think of something good. What treat makes your kids smile? Is it something you cook?. Then celebrate your choice to make change in your life and do something special for the children. Then make your plan and follow thru keeping that all important thought in your mind that things are going to change because you want them to and you are going to do something about it. Make an appointment with a doctor. Make that first step, tell him whats going on, and you just may come home feeling a boost of sunshine you haven't felt in God knows how long...Just maybe? Maybe is better than nothing and honestly I don't see how you could be disappointed by making that step.. :)

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271792 tn?1334979657
In all honesty, I would be very, very leery of any clinic who doses Methadone to come off of an opiate. I don't think it should ever be used for that. I never advocate Methadone but if I were to do so it would be for Heroin addicts who are chronic relapsers.

I know that opiate withdrawal is tough, I have done it many times but it is doable. As addicts we are always looking for that quick fix and after years of off again, on again believe me...there is no fix.

If you really, really want this then suck it up and get it done. Sounds easy, huh? NO, it is not but if you get on a Methadone program I will bet good money you will be back here in a year asking how to get off of the Methadone. When you first go on it you will feel great. All of the withdrawal symptoms will disappear. Then they will up your dose again and again until they feel you are comfortable. At that point you can't jump off, it is too high a dose. So you tell them you want to get off and they begin tapering your dose so fast you don't even have time to blink.

I first started at a clinic in 1969 and again in 1987. Both times I jumped off myself and never did maintenance. But..I saw everyone around me suffering. In all of these years (41 years) I know of maybe 3 people who successfully completed the program and are still clean today. Now, you can take everyone's word for it here or do it yourself.

If you decide to taper from the pills or go ct, we can suggest otc supplements and home remedies that can help ease the withdrawal. Either way, you have to be ready to do this and know that it is, again, doable.

As far as the depression, maybe members suffer with it. It is not uncommon. You can speak with your doctor about that and I understand there are medications on the market today that are very helpful with it. My brother has suffered with depression as long as I can remember and he is on a medication that has given him a new life. It is just my opinion but I believe that opiates cause depression in the first place. I also believe Methadone is only going to add to that for you.

Well, that's all I got. The rest is up to you. I wish you the best.

Let us know what you decide.
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your support. I feel I'm a hopeless case because lately I've gotten really bad. In two days I've gone through 21 oxy 20's and about 15 oxy 10's. If that isn't hopeless I don't know what is.

I have 18 10mg methadone pills that I could use to get off oxy. My idea is to just use them and them only to get off the oxys. Maybe do 3 a day for 3 days, then 2 a day for 3 days then 1 a day for 3 days and then I'd be out and go cold turkey from there. I just think it would ease the withdraws a bit by easing off as opposed to jumping from such a high dose. I'm scared to jump from such a high dose of oxy. Like I said last time I passed out from the wds. I'm scared my body will shut down from shock and I won't make it through.

I know you can't give medical advice but since I'd only be using the methadone for 9 days in total, might that be a way to get off oxy and lessen the shock to the system? I just can't jump from the amount I'm on now and this is the only thing i can think of. I'm going to talk to my doc and get some meds to help with the wds.
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271792 tn?1334979657
You are right, we cannot and will not give you advise on how to use the Methadone pills you bought off of the street. Sorry hun.
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1283286 tn?1312911966
You came here asking for help and the help say "just go see a doctor" and let him help you..All I see right now is a person that says "I can't do this" but then turn around and wants to play russian roulette with a much stronger med with its own set of problems with you saying "but I think I can do this".  

So what happens after 9 days or whatever when you figure out things didn't quite work out? And you still feel wd's.. Lets say you make it to 30 day "again" and find the depression is still there? Then what?

I am not trying to be hard on you or insensitive to the feelings and emotions running thru your head right now..But you have admitted you need help so make the decision ,quit the speculation, and just do what has been suggested as the best any of us can suggest.

Go see a doctor. Do this the right way..And by seeing him he can plan against the depression issue which you said put you back on this train before after 30 days clean...Please do yourself a favor.Toss the methadone idea and go see a doctor. Thats where your ultimate help is..
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Avatar universal
I too tried to come off of a pretty aggressive opiate addiction ie...hydro, oxy, and anything I could get my hands on.  So I found a friend that had the 5mg methadones and thought "hey, I could use them for a week or two to get off of the other and I will be great!"  Boy, was I wrong.  I wasn't on them long but I had detoxed from the others several times and it was bad but NOTHING and I MEAN NOTHING is as bad as methadone withdrawal.....Even a month or two is too long on Methadone.  It has been 5 weeks or so since I stopped taking methadone and I am still feeling the effects....yes, I had a couple of hydro's along the way to try and curb the methadone withdrawal but nothing helped.....Take the pain you are going through right now from the oxy withdrawal...intensify it by 10, extend the time by double if not triple and that is what methadone withdrawal is like........Also, methadone is very dangerous on its own....Many people have reactions to it and if you drink even one drink on it you run a huge chance of stopping breathing during the night....No joke, methadone is a wonder drug for heroin street junkies that have no other hope but to get on methadone.  That is the only applicable situation that I can think of.  There are a lot of suppliments and people on this site that have their own methods to lessen the detox process and time but methadone is not one of them......I wish you the best of luck BUT PLEASE>>>>STAY AWAY FROM METHADONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Avatar universal
justneedtotalk how long were you on methadone? I ask because I would think that my plan of using it for just 9 days wouldn't lead to the horrors you describe. I talked to someone on here who did a quick methadone detox with fantastic results. And yes I will discuss it with the doctor and get meds to help the wds. Starting now I'm going to load up on vitamins and eat healthier in preparation for my detox. Once this script is gone I'm going to do my quick methadone detox and pray that I can lessen the blow as opposed to jumping from oxy. Dav--you asked what life was like before oxys. Crap. I've been through a lot in my life and as a result I had bad depression and it was the main reason why I began abusing my pain meds. It lifted the depression of course but led me into a dark place that I'm in now. I have to get clean and get seriously involved in NA. Do as many meetings as humanly possible and hope my mind doesn't consume me in the days post detox.

Everyone here seems really anti-methadone and I understand that. I have the methadone pills I do because I was prescribed them a long time ago as a possible pain management option instead of oxys. After a month on them I decided after reading all the horror stories that I would go back to oxys. I held onto them and now they will come in handy in getting off oxys. I have heard of several ppl using methadone VERY short term to kick oxy. Like I said 9 days, that's it. Yes of course I anticipate wds. There's just no way around that but doing a really fast methadone detox could make the difference in me getting off oxys or not. I plan on talking to the doctor on Monday and telling him my plan and getting on
An antidepressant and meds to help wds.

You have no idea how bad I am. I'm desperate and if this works it WILL save my life. Already today I've done almost 200 mgs. Ridiculous and pathetic and toxic. I'm out of control but feel like I just have no way out except maybe this. I beat myself up a lot but I deserve it. I knew better but still accepted oxys for pain mgmt when I knew the risks. But I will forgive myself in time. Once I get clean I'll get into counseling and work on the stuff that led me to use in the first place. Thank you for your help and now I'll disappear for awhile until I'm clean as I don't think I'm in any position to give advice to anyone. Il just lurk and keep reading and post when I start my detox. God willing I make it there...
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Avatar universal
" Once this script is gone"...If you have oxy,why not taper with that?   You can't taper?
How are you going to taper the Methadone?  You take roughly 285mg of oxy a day.
Are you POSITIVE that 30mg of Methadone is the appropriate amount to start with?
You talked to someone on THIS forum who did this??   You're going to take the word of ONE person on the internet?

I wish you the best...but I'm concerned for you.
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