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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

New to the club- questions on quitting narcos

Hello all,
I am just beginning my journey to finding myself again. I am on day 5- almost 6, of cold turkey after 11 years of addiction (or "dependance" as I've justified it to myself). Battling cancer for years made it easy to just say **** it, and give in to the relief it brought (both physically and mentally). I am done numbing myself to reality and pain, and just want to feel the entirety of my real emotions and reactions again. I have really been struggling with a few things. Physically: these withdrawal symptoms are no joke. My stomach feels like it is being shredded into a million pieces every second of every day. I can't stop going to the bathroom- and none of this seems to be letting up. How long did you guys have stomach issues for after quitting? Also I am like the anxiety poster child- and am grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw to the point that it physically hurts to smile and talk.. Is this normal? And if so when the hell will it stop?? Mentally- I am finally seeing the bigger picture and approaching this with the clarity that this is the ONLY option. I know that I want to get back to myself and find myself. I have been addicted since I was under 18. All I've known my entire adult life is this. I want to find out who I am without drugs. The thing I am struggling with mentally is my unsupportive spouse. He had a free constant drug dealer (although I wasn't quite aware of that) under his roof for 10 years and is not happy about the gravy train coming to a halt. He is trying to convince me I don't need to quit, leaving pills in front of me, telling me how much I just "need to take a couple and I'll be fine again and realize I'm good", and trying to convince me that if I am going to quit I need to keep it around me and keep filling scripts because it's " the only way to test myself" (and coincidentally keep him stocked, imagine that!) have any of you dealt with this lack of support and how did you push through? His nagging is almost worse than this withdrawal hell...
3 Responses
11318065 tn?1462984479
Hi and Welcome!  And Congratulations on Day 5-6!!!  You are doing an amazing thing for yourself!!!  
The time line is different for everyone but I started to feel a bit better by Day 5 and then everyday it got a little better!  
The stomach stuff got better for me pretty quickly when I came off the opiates so hang in there!  The teeth grinding and headaches that come along with it are nasty!  I actually started using a nightguard and it really helped!  During the day if you can try using some relaxation techniques or even go on You Tube and use some of the relaxation videos....they helped me!!!
As far as your husband...well he must be pretty angry that his drugs are gone!  Does he have access to his own...you mentioned that he is putting them in front of you...  That is rough....I still would probably salivate if they were right in front of me!!!  I think its important that you get involved in some kind of support....  12 step, church, OP counseling....but if you don't have a support system it will be very, very, very difficult to stay clean!  It is the only thing that has kept me clean and sober!!!  He most likely doesn't want you to succeed cause then he might have to take a look at himself!!!  Try looking into some kind of outside help for you!!!  
Keep hanging in there and keep on posting!!!  ♡
Karen
Avatar universal
Thanks for responding! :-) It is such a relief to know these symptoms should be getting better soon. And yeah, he thought he was sneaky until he decided to casually pull out my script yesterday and say "wow, you went through a ton of pills this week! You're going to need to fill this again soon!!" to which I responded "really? Because I haven't taken any this week". Busted! Now he is doing a fabulous job of avoiding any conversation about his obvious usage and focusing on me entirely. Since I posted this he has also added "you need to take at least one or two you can't just quit cold turkey- I'm worried about your health" to the list of reasons I should relapse when merely 2 hours away from beginning my 6th day completely sober. Yeah I think he's worried about not only taking a look at himself, but also that sobriety will make me look at him too
Avatar universal
Wow. That's a really hard position, not sure many of us would have made it through the taunting. Good on you and stay strong. You are close to the downhill physical, there will still be anxiety, depression and fatigue. Maybe some good vitamins, Gatorade and seeing if your doc may help you. Blood pressure meds out there that they use to help.
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