Why can't you get a Dr.'s help??
Because I have no insurance and don't have the money to pay outright... Yes, almost everyday we find a way to come up with the money to get a fix or just get fronted until paydays... But by the time I had saved enough to go to a dr I would probably be past the worst withdrawal symptoms... I'm just scared and lost. I'm in The States, and a hospital probably will only refer me to a regular dr....
There are Dr.'s out there who will treat you based on a payscale - meaning you can pay what you can afford while in treatment and have a payment plan set in place. If you can find the money for the drugs every day then you can use that money towards a Dr.'s care. You need to be more realistic about what you're trying to do - just "willing" yourself clean doesn't work. Is your husband trying to quit as well? I ask because it can be next to impossible to get clean and STAY clean if your partner is still abusing drugs. There's no easy way out of this and it takes a lot of work to get well. But it is POSSIBLE if you get a realistic plan in place. And I just saw your other thread and you were warned that stopping the soma can be extremely dangerous - so it's in your best interest to find a Dr. who can work with you. I don't think you're being realistic about the situation and I only want to see you succeed and to do this as safely as possible. And you mentioned that you were getting the drugs from a Dr. in addition to buying them off the streets - why couldn't you start with that doc?
My problem is, We have spent every last cent we have to spend on pills this weekend, we have none left, and zero money... The drs that have prescribed me these things are very expensive- pill mills- I'm sure you know the term? I was prescribed lortabs throughout my pregnancy a year ago, so I could say that it stems from that to protect myself, I just don't have even twenty bucks at this point to get in to a dr... We have pawned everything possible, borrowed from everyone who will give without asking questions... My husband has no choice but to quit at the moment, we just simply do not have the money...
You can't quit just because you don't have the money to get more. It won't work - it has to come from someplace deeper within for it to have any lasting meaning. I mean, what if someone gave you both money right now? Would you use it to get help from Dr. or just buy more pills? And AA and NA are free so you could start there.
I honestly would use it to get help, as far as my son's father is concerned... I really don't have the answer. I have thought about the na in my area, I have been once or twice, but for some reason it didn't feel like.. I belonged there- Like the people would laugh at me if they heard my pitiful story... That, of course, was years ago with lesser addictions on my back.
No one is going to laugh at you because we're not in a position to judge. I'm just trying to give you some things to think about. It's easy to come up with excuses for why we can't reach out for help (believe me I know - I did he same thing) and it wasn't until I was honest with the people who loved me did I finally have a chance. It's just too dam* hard and too complicated to try and do this on your own. If you've already been to NA, I think it's worth it to try again. What have you got to lose at this point right? Everything has to change and that's scary, I know. But you have to start someplace - and you CAN do this. But please get the support in person that you can. Wouldn't you do the same for someone you loved if they needed your help? Of course you would - so give someone else that chance to do the same for you. :)
Thank you, I needed to hear that, I have been considering telling my family the truth, I am just terrified that they will place judgements on my parenting or try to say that I shouldn't have my son, he is my whole reson for being, I have always been honest about my past addictions, to any and everyone, but now that I am a mother that is my number one thought- Can I lose my son? If so, I wouldn't be able to make it through the day
I know - it's scary to risk opening yourself up like this to someone. BELIEVE ME, I know. But I can not tell you the difference having their support has made for me. People are a lot more forgiving than we give them credit for - at least your loved ones will be. If they see you are serious about this and they know you are going to do everything possible to get better, they'll be there to help. I'm sure they miss the real you - I know my husband did. And it can be a HUGE relief to get this off your chest - one of our members here, gnarly, said something SO true - "our secrets keep us sick". And he's right. There's no shame in asking for help, none whatsoever. EVERYBODY needs help sometimes. Everybody. :)
Hi...I just want to let you know that it's dangerous for anyone here to give you dosage amounts. Frankly, it's against forum guidelines...also,clonidine lowers your BLOOD PRESSURE so it needs to be prescribed for you medically...
Hi! I'm not sure why you can't stop cold turkey. I'm sure there is a reason if you were advised not to, but I stopped the same cocktail a few years ago, and I had no help. The Soma was pretty hard for me, but it was hard to tell which was causing the worst WD symptoms when I was WDing from hydrocodone at the same time. I had not taken Soma for a long time. Maybe a few months if I remember correctly. But like everything I took, I took WAY too much of it. Anyway, maybe you could go to an ER if you need some medical help? They cannot refuse treatment to you. They can give you some clonidine and instructions on the safe way to take it. They can also tell you the best way to stop the Soma since you have been told not to stop CT.
Don't let fear of judgement stop you from getting some aftercare. NO ONE can judge you at a 12 step meeting, as they are there for the very same reason as you. Besides you don't have to even open your mouth until you are ready! Just listen and try to soak up everything you can! : )
I had said on another post not to abruptly stop Soma. It's because of the seizure activity that develops and really,I think it's one of the more dangerous drugs to detox from.
I sure hope you get some help with this. At this point,given you have a child, I think you need to call your family for help.
All the best!
OMG........I didn't know that about the seizures. Definitely get some medical help then. You do NOT want to have a seizure. They are very hard to recover from physically. (and emotionally they are scary as you-know-what)
It would be worth doing whatever is necessary to get some help. Your life depends on it!
Thanks everyone... it's been about... 18 hrs since I've had a narcotic... It ***** but it's not too brutal yet
Hello there! Just wanted tto check in on you and let you know we are all here for you and supporting you!!! I am so happy for you that you have decided to do this and are now 18 hours in. The next few days will be rough, but you can do it! You just have to keep a positive mind and that really mkes the difference between suffering and just discomfort. My favorite quote from Gnarly1 again, This battle is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental...so get positive and get proactive and you will win! I am keeping you in my prayers! We are in this battle together and WE WILL WIN!!!
Thank you so much! I have just been jammin Sublime, thinking about what a waste people put themselves through on a day to day basis, and trying to hang in there. I'm in some serious pain now, 26 hrs in, and I want to DIE.... But I know that if I don't do this I will die from this addiction. My son deserves so much more than that, and so do I actually. Still hangin on, I know tonight will be very trying. I have bipolar disorder, pretty severe anxiety, and borderline schizophrenia, so I am really scared of how the nights will go until this is over...
Hey, Im glad you are trying to keep your spirits up and jammin music is so helpful! In fact you just reminded me of a song, Wasted by Carrie Underwood...Im gonna go post the lyrics if I can find them. :) Yes you are definitely right, both YOU and your son deserve this!!! Now you say you have bipolar disorder, severe anxiety, and borderline schizophrenia....Are you seeing a dr for these things, or taking meds for it? That can change some stuff in there , so I think you definitely should start seeing a dr if your not already. Hang in there Im praying for you!
I feel so upset with myself, I spent three full hours on or over the toilet, my stomach is still feeling the effects from that, my nerves were horrible and I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown, my son only wanted me to hold him, not Daddy, during that time and all I could hear was him crying for me in the room... I gave in. I swallowed the devil's damn jelly beans less than 15 minutes ago, and already feel like a failure and am so ashamed of myself... I do not know what to do, I am so lost, I was about to go to the er... I am starting to feel like maybe I do need to see a dr about quitting, because of my other mental issues... But I don't want to use one excuse after another to not quit... I feel so horrible... I only lasted 31 hrs!! I honestly don't know what the next step is from here... Even though I am with my beautiful son and my husband, I felt like I was alone in a dark corner when I was over the toilet... I am just numb to this whole thing. I hate myself so much for letting it get to this point
A few more days..hang tight
think of it as the flu and baby urself. make a list of all of the reasons u dont wanna do this again, the issues using causes u. I would imagine the bad outweighs the good
Make a pan to stay clean..aftercare rox! As does the thomas recipe in the health pages. Make a plan....make a back up plan too!
Thank you, I looked at the Thomas recipe and would love to have the luxury of using it, but I simply cannot get away from my household duties or taking care of my son, I would kill for a hot tub and a week long daytime babysitter...
HI.......dont let one step backward ruin this for you so you F/up ....a lot of people do tring this for the first time you got a lot on your plate if you can hang for 31hr you can do this you just let the mind games win..as I have said b/4 this is 2/3 mental and it is defentlly one or lost in ones own mind this next time around you wont falter you will hit the E/R for some meds to help with this not everybody makes it out of this there first time it takes work you got to want it bad.....so bad your wiling to go threw anything to get there...so dust your self off and pick up where you left off in the few hr of releife the pills you took will bring you ....you will have set yourself back but not as far as you think your still in the ball game just had a foul ball keep posting and whatever you do post b/4 your thinking of using we can still help get you threw this good luck and God bless,,,,,Gnarly btw get rid off all the pills in the house!!!!!
Is it horrible of me to say that the thought of that terrifies me? I know I need to do it, and will, but it still scares the daylight out of me, do you know that feeling?
HI and yes I do.....i was up in the high country 7800ft and did some serious hiking that day I was in the process of weening off methadone and was down around 20mg....no one ever told me physical exertion could cause you to metabolize all your methadone and 20mg was bearly holding me over it was a Christians mens retreat and I was in a rustic cabin with 8 other guys.....went to bed at 10 right about 1am I woke up in full withdrawals my body was cunvusing my heart was ready to pound out of my chest I was in the worst panic attack of my life.....I dident know what to do at first I thought something went horably wrong with me physically so I hit the shower room for what seamed like hrs and just let the water rush over me it did bring some comfort it also cleared my head enough to figure out what was causing this so I took my morning dose around 2am it took an hr to hit but then everything calmed down.....I had my share of withdrawals b/4 I came off 150mg and you go in and out of withdrawals along the way but nothing this sever it really put a deep fear in im of what I had to come....after all this was 20mg and I was still on it how bad was my final withdrawal going to be that day came oct 18 2009 it was a sunday I was at church and broke down b/4 God I told him I had been threw all the withdrawals I could stand and asked him to spare me this final withdrawal ....although it wasn't pleasant by any means I wasn't throwing up or convusing had every other symptom but those where the 2 I ask him to spare me of and to this day I believe he did so the answer to your question is yes I know exactly what it like also know the horors of tapering methadone down to 1mg I was dope sick for 6 weeks b/4 I quit.....my addiction came with an awful cost but it was so so worth every night up every cramp in my stomach all the restless legs even the cunvusions to get where im at today......YOU CAN DO THIS no one said it would be ez but we will all tell you it is worth it hang in there and dont give up the fight remember its all about attitude do this for you do it for your son but just do it and become free good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Thank you so much! That's just what I needed to hear this morning!