Norco Addiction, withdraw process

[Tat2guy]

My name is, well my name don't matter...I've read a lot of these and haven't ever commented... I'm 29 years old, and well bottom line I can take 30 norcos, the lil yellow bananas a day and not feel anything but normal.. I've been taking them for nine years.. I own a very successful business, and worked my *** off to make it from the ground up, I have 3 perfect kids and a beautiful wife that loves the hell out of me...I have money power and success.. And a ****** up addiction.. The work I do I can't just half *** it... Anyhow four months ago I stopped entirely went two months without ****.. Cold turkey wanted myself to feel the pain... And I did.. But I gave in a couple months ago.. My body wasn't working with my mind and I took two pills.. Felt like superman, told myself no I'm only takin two a day.. But you know how that goes. Bam right back to thirty a day
..here I am on day two of being clean, I have two more days till I go back to work.. The worst part is my wife looks at me like I'm a joke and am just going to start back any time.. What she don't know is she helped me so much last time... I just took one little bitty *** suboxone, and it didn't do ****... And no they aren't dr supplied.. I don't know I just know I deserve to hurt....I deserve this feeling..... But goddamn, it's so hard knowing I could take them and bam be back to superman in minutes... I was so ****** proud of myself last time I quit.... I just hate the mental anguish.. I have so much on my plate....

[Pat1956100]

If you want to stay clean you have to get rid of the pills.  Give them to your wife or flush them.  They may not tempt you today but trust me they will be calling to you very soon.  The more difficult they are to get, the better.
You are not stronger than the pills right now.  Our body screams for them.
Almost every one of us has too much on their plates and found that we could handle it better with our pills.  Until the pills turned on us and all we are doing is taking them not to feel sick.  
Taking pills is only going to make it worse for you.  You soon won't be able or even want to handle all the things that life throws at us.  You will be pulling the covers up over your head and letting life pass you by.  You will miss your kids growing up and they will never get to know their real daddy.
Please get rid of the pills and realize that you have been existing and not living.  I have only been clean for 6 days and am looking so forward to living.

[Tat2guy]

Honestly.. It did help to post that, to just be able too tell someone..  See the ****** up part is I'm not like a ****** up crack head, lookin for his fix, I know I I'm done this time, I have to be.. I am a tattoo artist, no surprise.. The hardest thing is I started doing this work. Under the influence, I never let it run my life, I always felt like I was controlling it. Like it was my fuel to do everything I've done.. I am not quitting because I ran out,I have hundreds right in front of me, and I'm not the slightest bit tempted, ok maybe slightly tempted.. But I'm not going to.. I make a lot of money and there is a huge demand for my work.. That's the hardest part.. Knowing I can't get my body in Tune with my mind.. I just get so over whelmed I have a hundred things going on, no time to sleep have to have the answers.. Shitload of people waiting for my command..  I just get lost.. Last time I quit, I struggled and made **** work..  It was hard but I did it.. I have the world only shoulders and a rock In my stomach..  **** the pain hell with the withdrawals.. My god damn mind is what I can't control.. I deserve the pain.. I can't handle feeling the collapse of everything around me.. Last time  when I started back, I had an interview to be put into a national tattoo magazine, and had to do three portraits valued at a grand each.. I had to perform, or else.. No ifs ands or buts.. Then two pills turned into five and so on.. I got the publicity and the boost..

[Sonrissa]

Hi and welcome! I completely agree with everything that Pat said! Looking back and the mental anguish does you absolutely no good! Keep moving forward every day! You can do this, you know you can as you've done it before! This time try to change something, the something that made you start again! Have you told your supplier that you have quit? Make it so that you are not able to get them anymore! Also, I agree, talk to your wife and tell her how much her support meant to you the last time! Unfortunately, relapses happen! The key is to never give up! Never stop trying! You can make it! Best wishes, keep posting!! Take care!

[Pat1956100]

You are so young and have been using for most of your adult life.  Does your wife even know you off of pills?  
You have a life time ahead of you and you will regret it so much if you waste anymore time on pills.  Once you recognize the problem and decide to quit I don't think you can ever be happy again until you do.
You have been using again for 2 months and you already know that it's not the answer anymore.  
The mental anguish is hell so stop telling yourself that you deserve to suffer.  You are an addict.  You didn't choose to become an addict.  None of us did.
You are smart enough to quit again so give yourself some credit.  So many people don't even make an attempt to quit.
Tell your wife how much she helped you last time and ask for her support again.  You can do this.  You have too.  Keep posting it really helps.