Aa
Not Really A Question, just would like to share my experiance
Hi I am turning 20 next month and my ex boyfriend was a crack addict. I met him when I was 16 and I thought he was perfect - he was one of those people you could just talk to about anything and he was cute and smart. I didn't hear from him again until a year later. I found out he had a warrent for his arrest (long story). Within these days until he got caught him & I "fell in love". It got to the point where I dropped all my friends, my family, just to be with him. My friends are the bestest friends a girl could ask for - and my family, they loved me - they provided me with everything I needed. I left and lied to my parents because I was young and naive. At this time he just had gotten out of jail and told me he would "never go back". He of course had conditions upon his realease. He had a 10 o'clock curfew and I kept him inside our home before 10 o'clock for a good 2 weeks. But one day he just decided he needed to go out to have a couple of drinks and he wanted me to go with him cause he knew I would get him home on time... Well, we got a little drunk but I still managed to call a cab at 9:15. It came on time and we were having fun being drunk. I rolled down the window and saw some of my friends that I knew through my cousin and I waved. He looked at me and slapped me. We got kicked out of the cab and he slapped me and punched me right across the c-train station.
There were so many people watching and no one did ANYTHING (makes me sick). he left me there walking away screaming "****, *****". I cried to the train station and took the train home. I packed all my stuff and called my parents to come pick me up - within an hour or two they were there. To cut the story short - He went to jail that night and he called me crying and apligising and I was stupid and took him back .... He hit me again & I took him back - I don't know why I was just not using my mind. I have a big heart and I believe people deserve chances... He got out of jail 11 months later and I came to pick him up.. he seemed really werid and just out of the ordinary. My parents agreed to let him live with us (only because that way they could watch me & feel more safe that I am home). He worked with my dad and I worked with my mom everything was going good. He told me he started to smoke salvia he would take out some tabacco from his cig and put "salvia" at the end and smoke it. It got really frustrating and it got to the point where he was smoking it almost every 10 minutes. He would go outside and I wondered what the hell was so good about it.
He was a "drug dealer" and I would drive him around. One time he brought a crack head into my car and he took a hoot from his pipe I freaked out and kicked him out and as soon as I started to smell it I thought "what the hell that's the same sh*t you're smokin" but i didn't say it because I knew my ex, he had a short temper and I was just terrified of him. he then continued to smoke it Outside my family home, inside my car, when we would take a walk. And I started to act really funny around him and he could tell... Everyone was starting to suspect it - his best friend even asked him if he smoked and he freaked out and almost shot him... he asked him because he's the one who supplies him with the crack and he usually gives him it and tells him to pretty much double the money and he would never recieve not even half of the money my ex would owe him... We were living with his best friends at this time. After his friend asked him if he smoked he stole 500 dollars of his money and meet up with me (i didn't know about this money). This was a day before new years eve. He told me we should rent a hotel with the 500 but first buy smoke dope to "sell" so we could have more money later. So he spent 400 on the dope... and now we have only 100 for a hotel. He took me to the cheapest hotel possible SOO DIRTY. We got into the hotel and he ran right to the washroom.
He came out half an hour later. He went outside to look for people to sell it to. He sold 100 to one guy. He was in and out of that washroom probably 10 times. Everytime he would come out I would ask him to lay with me and he wouldn't he just kept looking out the window. I asked him why and he said because he thinks his best friend was after him. I told him how can he possibly know where we are? and he said he just does and he put the little couch so it would block the way of the door and pretty much everything but the beds so no one could get in - HE WAS TRIPPIN. and i sat there and just watched him I could sleep. I know if i was to do the wrong move (call the cops call for help etc.) then he probably would have killed me if not killed me close to killing me. We had to check out the next day - - he did not look good, he didn't even sleep at all. We walked through downtown with our suitcases (LIKE I WAS HOMELESS) and he just freaked out for no reason he told me to stop walking behind him and to walk the oppsite side of where the street was because he didn't want anyone to look at me then one minute he would just start looking for things to yell at me then we just got into a huge arguement and he broke it off with me and called his friends saying "we're going out tonight I'm single!!". then after he would say sorry... We ended up at his friends house and it turned 12 he said HAPPY NEW YEARS to everyone BUT me. He even saw his friend kiss his girl and he just looked at them and went "AWWW" didn't even bother to come to me. After that he said he was going to go to the club and I told him I didn't have the proper clothes I was in sweats so he gave me money to rent out the same cheap hotel so we could have a place for the night. so i went back there and i tried calling him over and over and he said he was on his way back home (I couldn't get a cab cause it was so busy).
He didn't get home til 6 a.m.. WHAT A JOKE!!! From that day I told him he needed to go back to his father (who lived in the Yukon - we were in Calgary at the time). I took the greyhound with him 24 hours long!! His Dad is a loving and understanding person and has had problems with my ex ever since he was 14. He helped me get a job and everything. I had to go back to calgary for my best friends birthday and I was even surpirsed he let me. To make the story short - I got back there and he was smoking it right in front of me he would go to the corner and look back right and left and smoke from his damn water bottle pipe he made then after he would walk all over the house with a febrezze bottle which was replaced with water and soup and he would spray it all around the house (thinking it would take the smell away- YA RIGHT!!). the next day he was out - he was trying to feel up on me and have sex with me and i told him "you're so unattractive right now!! you don't think I know what you're doing" and he would look down and be like "i know" and then the next minute he would get so mad he would say "why are u not putting out what the FU*K is your problem" then he grabbed my legs and dragged me all over the house and I ran to the washroom. He was banging on the door and he said if I didnt come out he would have to break the door so I came out he punched me right in the jaw I literally saw stars and got knocked out for 2 seconds. I ran to the bedroom and he grabbed my jaw and pushed me aginist the wall and he told me to be quiet he threw me on the bed. I thought I was going to get raped. I started kicking him and he grabbed my legs and started to punch my stomach. I told him to stop and he finally left me alone. I had to go to the doctors cause he dislocated my jaw. I left him the next three days because it was the only available flight and i was not up to take the 24 ride back to calgary. I had to act like nothing was wrong with me those 3 days and his dad knew right when he saw me and took me to the doctors I had to lie and say I fell in the tub.
There were so many people watching and no one did ANYTHING (makes me sick). he left me there walking away screaming "****, *****". I cried to the train station and took the train home. I packed all my stuff and called my parents to come pick me up - within an hour or two they were there. To cut the story short - He went to jail that night and he called me crying and apligising and I was stupid and took him back .... He hit me again & I took him back - I don't know why I was just not using my mind. I have a big heart and I believe people deserve chances... He got out of jail 11 months later and I came to pick him up.. he seemed really werid and just out of the ordinary. My parents agreed to let him live with us (only because that way they could watch me & feel more safe that I am home). He worked with my dad and I worked with my mom everything was going good. He told me he started to smoke salvia he would take out some tabacco from his cig and put "salvia" at the end and smoke it. It got really frustrating and it got to the point where he was smoking it almost every 10 minutes. He would go outside and I wondered what the hell was so good about it.
He was a "drug dealer" and I would drive him around. One time he brought a crack head into my car and he took a hoot from his pipe I freaked out and kicked him out and as soon as I started to smell it I thought "what the hell that's the same sh*t you're smokin" but i didn't say it because I knew my ex, he had a short temper and I was just terrified of him. he then continued to smoke it Outside my family home, inside my car, when we would take a walk. And I started to act really funny around him and he could tell... Everyone was starting to suspect it - his best friend even asked him if he smoked and he freaked out and almost shot him... he asked him because he's the one who supplies him with the crack and he usually gives him it and tells him to pretty much double the money and he would never recieve not even half of the money my ex would owe him... We were living with his best friends at this time. After his friend asked him if he smoked he stole 500 dollars of his money and meet up with me (i didn't know about this money). This was a day before new years eve. He told me we should rent a hotel with the 500 but first buy smoke dope to "sell" so we could have more money later. So he spent 400 on the dope... and now we have only 100 for a hotel. He took me to the cheapest hotel possible SOO DIRTY. We got into the hotel and he ran right to the washroom.
He came out half an hour later. He went outside to look for people to sell it to. He sold 100 to one guy. He was in and out of that washroom probably 10 times. Everytime he would come out I would ask him to lay with me and he wouldn't he just kept looking out the window. I asked him why and he said because he thinks his best friend was after him. I told him how can he possibly know where we are? and he said he just does and he put the little couch so it would block the way of the door and pretty much everything but the beds so no one could get in - HE WAS TRIPPIN. and i sat there and just watched him I could sleep. I know if i was to do the wrong move (call the cops call for help etc.) then he probably would have killed me if not killed me close to killing me. We had to check out the next day - - he did not look good, he didn't even sleep at all. We walked through downtown with our suitcases (LIKE I WAS HOMELESS) and he just freaked out for no reason he told me to stop walking behind him and to walk the oppsite side of where the street was because he didn't want anyone to look at me then one minute he would just start looking for things to yell at me then we just got into a huge arguement and he broke it off with me and called his friends saying "we're going out tonight I'm single!!". then after he would say sorry... We ended up at his friends house and it turned 12 he said HAPPY NEW YEARS to everyone BUT me. He even saw his friend kiss his girl and he just looked at them and went "AWWW" didn't even bother to come to me. After that he said he was going to go to the club and I told him I didn't have the proper clothes I was in sweats so he gave me money to rent out the same cheap hotel so we could have a place for the night. so i went back there and i tried calling him over and over and he said he was on his way back home (I couldn't get a cab cause it was so busy).
He didn't get home til 6 a.m.. WHAT A JOKE!!! From that day I told him he needed to go back to his father (who lived in the Yukon - we were in Calgary at the time). I took the greyhound with him 24 hours long!! His Dad is a loving and understanding person and has had problems with my ex ever since he was 14. He helped me get a job and everything. I had to go back to calgary for my best friends birthday and I was even surpirsed he let me. To make the story short - I got back there and he was smoking it right in front of me he would go to the corner and look back right and left and smoke from his damn water bottle pipe he made then after he would walk all over the house with a febrezze bottle which was replaced with water and soup and he would spray it all around the house (thinking it would take the smell away- YA RIGHT!!). the next day he was out - he was trying to feel up on me and have sex with me and i told him "you're so unattractive right now!! you don't think I know what you're doing" and he would look down and be like "i know" and then the next minute he would get so mad he would say "why are u not putting out what the FU*K is your problem" then he grabbed my legs and dragged me all over the house and I ran to the washroom. He was banging on the door and he said if I didnt come out he would have to break the door so I came out he punched me right in the jaw I literally saw stars and got knocked out for 2 seconds. I ran to the bedroom and he grabbed my jaw and pushed me aginist the wall and he told me to be quiet he threw me on the bed. I thought I was going to get raped. I started kicking him and he grabbed my legs and started to punch my stomach. I told him to stop and he finally left me alone. I had to go to the doctors cause he dislocated my jaw. I left him the next three days because it was the only available flight and i was not up to take the 24 ride back to calgary. I had to act like nothing was wrong with me those 3 days and his dad knew right when he saw me and took me to the doctors I had to lie and say I fell in the tub.
norco is just sronger vicodin. I'm glad you don't know what it is!! LOL You ARE strong for doing what you did and I'm so glad to make someone smile. msgs from everyone on here has really made me feel better and stronger and I KNOW I can fight this addiction that I have! :)
I'm sorry you had to go through this. i have seen crackheads steal from their own children, of course not all, but a couple and this is a deadly drug. counselling would be a great idea even though you say you can work through this on your own, it would be healthy to talk about this to someone. ty for sharing your story and i know it will help someone. good luck to you.
BTW - I wrote this to share my experiance with everyone but more with people who ARE/WERE drug users. I want you to know the other side of the story rather then it being all about the users. It's not just you who is effected, it's the people who care about you the most who are GREATLY effected then anyone else.
Thanks so much banndnmom! that almost brought tears to my eyes and you can't be doing that to me while I'm working! haha just kidding! Yup, I'm trying real hard to make myself happy. It really opened my eyes at the same time - yeah, it was a bad experiance but I'm being positive and looking at what I should learn from it and become 100 times more then the person I was then. I would go to consiling but I honestly think if I just put my mind into it and tell myself I'm a good person everyday then I will get through it! I have faith in myself =) thanks again
what a story. It gave me goosebumbs. i unfortunatly know many that live a life similair to your story. it is sad. what people are wiling to lose for drugs. I am glad you got out of that. You will learn to trust and love again one day i am sure of it. You deserve it. Just keep your chin up and know that there are good people in this world. You are obviously a very caring and faithful person. SOmeday hun you will find that one perfect someone that is the same as you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Until then you really have to start loving yourself cuz like you said u cant love some1 if you dont love yourself. Have you tried counsiling? Wouldnt hurt. You have been threw alot.
Best of luck to you!
Best of luck to you!
Thanks so much - I've never ever shared my story on a site before and I'm at work right now trying to kill time. You made me smile =) everytime someone tells me I'm a strong person my confidence just builds up. It's been a year and a half since I last seen him & your right, I'm still hurt from it and probably will be forever. I know time will heal but right now, I'm still young and situations like this - well, not as bad as mine - always happen with friends! I am keeping strong. I'm just really focusing on myself and trying to make myself happy before anything! I know it's hard to get off an addiction but trust me girl, you can make it if you try!! I don't have that type of experiance where I am addicted to hard drugs so I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's that easy. I honestly don't even know what norco is?? lol sorry.... but you stay strong too - keep fighthing!
what a story. i can't believe what some people go through and I sit here whining about my norco addiction. I know i'm stronger than this... you evidently are a very strong person and once you saw the light you did the right thing. the horrible part is that you'll probably be hurt by this forever, all bcuz od someone ELSE's drug problem. I'm so glad you yourself never turned to drugs. I can't imagine dealing with all of that being sober. thanks for sharing your story. stay strong.
Glad you posted this here, some do see the old stuff but this is better. An aweful experience for you but may help others.
He knew and before I iwas leaving to take my flight I told him and he told me I deserve someone who loves me and he was only going to ruin me. I left. After he had to courage to finally admit to me on MSN MESSENGER that he was smoking it in jail for those 11 months he was there cause he thought he would never get out. he told me he was coming back to calgary cause his dad and him got into a fight. he came back and called me and threated me saying if I didn't see him he would come to my house and kill my family. I was so scared of him that I didn't know what to do BUT see him because I knew he would actually come to my house and something WOULD happen for sure. So I met up with him and he wouldn't smoke it around me but he would be so depressed.
He would whine and cry to me about everything and how he lost his life.... I finally got rid of him the next day at 6 a.m in the morning. He kept calling and calling.... He told me to met him somewhere and I told him i would be there but I really didn't want to. I got my cousin to pick up my phone and tell him that I left my cell phone at home and that I was on my way and he said "you're a fu*kin liar" and hung up. He called again and said he would come to my house if I wasn't there in the next hour. My cousin advise that I called the cops. So I finally had the courage to. I told them to met me across the street at the gas station. I told them the location and I stayed away from my house and told my brother to lock all the windows. He called my little brother and said "do me a favor and tell your sister she's dead" and hung up. the cops called me an hour later and told me they went to the location but he left 10 minutes before. AN HOUR LATER? it took 10 minutes to get there!!!. My cousin and I sat in my car parked til 4 a.m and we finally decided to come home we were so scared to get out of the car in fear of him being there but he wasn't we slept in my brother's room cause we were so scared.
The next couple of days on the news there was a person who stole a taxi - put a knife to the driver but the driver manage to run off. The cops were in the oppisite direction and the person saw and paniced and crashed into a semi-truck. IT WAS HIM... I checked my messages on nexopia the next day and it said "I'm going to downtown and smoke my sh*t and come to your house and kill you" the news said the driver was headed to the downtown core. THANK GOD he didn't make it to my house. The calls started coming in from jail. He would love me the next day and hate me the next. Then I started to avoid his calls and he accused me of cheating while he was in jail for 11 months. Now he is out of my life!!! EVERYTHING made so much sense when I found of he smoked crack. All the lies and all the time he was so violent with me. GIRLS PLEASE GET YOURSELF OUT OF THIS SITUATION! ALL CRACKHEADS THINK ABOUT IS CRACK AND WANTING MORE AND MORE AND THEY WILL HURT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO THEM BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES WHO USUALLY SUPPORT IT AND ARE SCARED TO LOOSE THEM. This situation not only has effected my future but i think about him everyday, not because I still love him because I can't not forget him. all the places in calgary remind me of him. It hurts but I keep strong. You gotta look at it in a way where as you live and you learn. It has lowered my self esteem so much that I don't love myself. I can't get into a serious relationship because I can't trust any man. ONCE YOU DRAW YOURSELF AND SUPPORT SOMEONE WITH THIS DIRTY HABIT YOU WILL ONLY FEEL GUILT IN THE END - YOU WILL ONLY HATE YOURSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE ELSE. this goes for all users and NON users. CRACKHEADS can't LOVE ANYONE because they don't love themselevs to begin with they only love the high. US WHO DEAL WITH IT - hate ourselves because of what we put ourself through ... well STOP BEFORE YOU HATE YOURSELF EVEN MORE. I hate to say but you put yourself in this position - just like I put myself in mine. Just put your mind into it and you can do it. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. don't do it for someone who will ruin your life.
I hope this story encouraged all of you..
GOD BLESS!
He would whine and cry to me about everything and how he lost his life.... I finally got rid of him the next day at 6 a.m in the morning. He kept calling and calling.... He told me to met him somewhere and I told him i would be there but I really didn't want to. I got my cousin to pick up my phone and tell him that I left my cell phone at home and that I was on my way and he said "you're a fu*kin liar" and hung up. He called again and said he would come to my house if I wasn't there in the next hour. My cousin advise that I called the cops. So I finally had the courage to. I told them to met me across the street at the gas station. I told them the location and I stayed away from my house and told my brother to lock all the windows. He called my little brother and said "do me a favor and tell your sister she's dead" and hung up. the cops called me an hour later and told me they went to the location but he left 10 minutes before. AN HOUR LATER? it took 10 minutes to get there!!!. My cousin and I sat in my car parked til 4 a.m and we finally decided to come home we were so scared to get out of the car in fear of him being there but he wasn't we slept in my brother's room cause we were so scared.
The next couple of days on the news there was a person who stole a taxi - put a knife to the driver but the driver manage to run off. The cops were in the oppisite direction and the person saw and paniced and crashed into a semi-truck. IT WAS HIM... I checked my messages on nexopia the next day and it said "I'm going to downtown and smoke my sh*t and come to your house and kill you" the news said the driver was headed to the downtown core. THANK GOD he didn't make it to my house. The calls started coming in from jail. He would love me the next day and hate me the next. Then I started to avoid his calls and he accused me of cheating while he was in jail for 11 months. Now he is out of my life!!! EVERYTHING made so much sense when I found of he smoked crack. All the lies and all the time he was so violent with me. GIRLS PLEASE GET YOURSELF OUT OF THIS SITUATION! ALL CRACKHEADS THINK ABOUT IS CRACK AND WANTING MORE AND MORE AND THEY WILL HURT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO THEM BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES WHO USUALLY SUPPORT IT AND ARE SCARED TO LOOSE THEM. This situation not only has effected my future but i think about him everyday, not because I still love him because I can't not forget him. all the places in calgary remind me of him. It hurts but I keep strong. You gotta look at it in a way where as you live and you learn. It has lowered my self esteem so much that I don't love myself. I can't get into a serious relationship because I can't trust any man. ONCE YOU DRAW YOURSELF AND SUPPORT SOMEONE WITH THIS DIRTY HABIT YOU WILL ONLY FEEL GUILT IN THE END - YOU WILL ONLY HATE YOURSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE ELSE. this goes for all users and NON users. CRACKHEADS can't LOVE ANYONE because they don't love themselevs to begin with they only love the high. US WHO DEAL WITH IT - hate ourselves because of what we put ourself through ... well STOP BEFORE YOU HATE YOURSELF EVEN MORE. I hate to say but you put yourself in this position - just like I put myself in mine. Just put your mind into it and you can do it. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. don't do it for someone who will ruin your life.
I hope this story encouraged all of you..
GOD BLESS!
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