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2107676 tn?1388973859

Not prepared

I just woke up and feel pretty crappy.  I kind of binged the last couple of days knowing I was quitting and couldn't bring myself to throw pills away.  I only have 1 imodium left from last time and not much of anything around the house but I have to try this today anyway.  I still have lots of vitamins.  Hoping it won't be too bad this time as I guess I used about 13 days and only the last 2 days I was taking a lot.  A few days I didn't take any.  
I can't remember when I took my last pill yesterday.  I think it was early afternoon.  I went a long time without sleeping so it's all jumbled.
I will try and do the best with what I have.  Kind of depressing here in this old house.  Hope I feel better by mother's day.
21 Responses
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Avatar universal
Pat I have something called calm tabs maybe similar to what you bought. Settle in and try and relax and look at it like all the toxins are leaving your body. You're not going to have a bad detox this time physically I don't think anyway. But stay close and know you're not alone it is so worth it. You will be amazed at what you learn about this process. You're are suffering to get well and not to suffer again. Using is like groundhog day and getting clean is like a roller coaster ride so strap yourself in and hang on it's so worth it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Pat I had to do the same thing! I knew I wouldnt be able to work during this process and I too got all I needed and clean clothes and sheets all ready! I even DVR'd  my favorite shows and movies and started playin games on Facebook that would keep me occupied! It really helped me a lot. Try try not to watch the clock,,its like time stands still in the beginning but looking back it goes by so fast. Now the days,,weeks fly by sometimes,,Im still stuck in Monday mode. You will be on my mind this weekend and Im rooting for ya!! Ill try and check in sometime this weekend and see how you are doing! I hope you have a happy Mother's Day and I pray that you have the stregnth to enjoy it. You will be sober for it!! That alone is huge! ((hugs))~Bkitty
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
I really admire the people who can go to work while withdrawing.  I am such a baby with pain and being sick. Don't be scared, I have been through it not very long ago.  It's nothing we can't handle.  The worst part comes after when we are craving pills.  Try and get a good night's sleep tonight.  
I couldn't find valerian root at the drug store so I bought STRESSEASE.  I hope it works for the anxiety.  That's my biggest concern.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I will be right there with you, I am taking my last pills tonight. Tomorrow will be day 1, I will be working so by the time i get out I should be close to 24 hours! I am scared but atleast we talk with each other.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No yelling from me :) I believe you want this and will make it. Whine and vent all you need. We all definitely will understand.

Many hugs,

Minn
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Had to throw my support in. This time will be your last, I feel it. A week goes by soooo fast, then your in the groove. We are all here for you. xx
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
lol minn, I am going to be secretly detoxing.  My family thinks I am already detoxed.  I guess I will be getting the "flu".  I did my banking, bought my supplies and have a nice fresh bed.
Hope it goes as well as possible but I am sure I will be whining to all of you.
Be nice, you can yell at me later lol.
Helpful - 0
1700643 tn?1464846682
I didn't read the other responses but get more immodium
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Pat, don't forget about humor. You aren't going to be doing any "secret detoxing"are you?! ;)
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
I appreciate all of your prayers and support. This has got to be done and the sooner the better. It sounds strange but I am looking forward to it.
Enough is enough.
Helpful - 0
2117997 tn?1339537769
Hi Pat,
You will be so glad you are doing this again. You can't beat yourself up for relapsing. I know how badly you want this and you know there are alot of us rooting for you. Stay strong. I hope this first week flies by for you.
Thinking of you, Randy
Helpful - 0
2120911 tn?1350922661
i agree, be prepared..get food you like,.,,,i bought stouffer mac/cheese...soups...easy stuff to take a bite of.....get books if you can..movies....maybe a gal friend will offer to text you now and again for support....even NA hotline jsut to chit chat if your mind plays games with ya....you will do fine...best wishes,,,for deciding enough is enough,,,,,

Helpful - 0
2151394 tn?1336738235
Very happy for you Pat. And I'll be praying for you tonight. Good luck and I know you will be successful. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey, Pat, I'm thinking of you and have faith you'll do great!

Big hugs,

Minn
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
That sounds like me and you don't sound like a dork or I would be one too lol.
The first time I did this I counted 96 hours and every hour that went by I felt closer to feeling better and it really helped.  
I really appreciate everyone's support and it makes me feel so much better not being alone.
The one thing I wanted when I got clean was to never tell another lie.  I hated lying to my family.
Now, I am lying to my mother by not telling her that I am taking pills but I just don't think she could handle it.  We just talk by phone but about 3 times a day and she has been so supportive.
Sharon, I am going to check out the valerian root when I go to the drug store because yes the anxiety really gets to me and it usually comes on when I can't sleep and am really tired.  I will put it on my list.
You guys are bringing good tears to my eyes because I feel like you want it for me as much as I want it for myself.
I don't even know you but I feel so much love and respect for all of you.
Please don't worry about offending me by anything you have to say.  I know everything you say is for my benefit.
Pat
Helpful - 0
2030769 tn?1343647674
I think that is a good plan.  I know for me if I had any pills still around, it would have just caused me more stress and I would have gave in.  Why make this any harder then it has to be.  You are going to do this, one hour at a time.  You know what I did?  I wrote out a long list, 1-336 (indicating each hour for the next 2 weeks) and crossed out each hour I got through.  I knew that by the time I got to hour 336, I was going to feel alot better.  I know that may sound overwhelming, but it actually helped me stayed focus.  And alot of those hours will go quickly, and hopefully alot of them will be slept through, but either way, time will continue to tick.  Hope i don't sound like a dork, but keeping the mind focused & motivated is the most important thing right now when going through detox and beyond.
Helpful - 0
2030769 tn?1343647674
thats some really good advice:)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You will feel a lot better once you get everything you need.It helps to prepare you mentally too. You can and will do this and remeber you're not alone I've been just where you are 30 days ago and now I'm here waiting for you and I hope you show up here at 30 days cuz I know you want to.

Pat please don't take this as negative but the mental and emotional came in the form of severe anxiety for me and from what I've read it manifests that way for you too.
Valerian root helped me a lot as did the passion flower extracts.

Hang in and know you can do this,

Sharon
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
I am going to start tomorrow. I have a couple of pills left so I am going to get everything I need tonight.  I have banking to do and go to the drugstore, do laundry and have a nice fresh bed to get into.  Also pick up some light food.  I need to plan this and do it right, so I have no excuses.  I want this.  I need imodium and gatorade.  I have vitamins, melatonin.  Anything else I am forgetting?  It sounds like a good plan and I am excited about doing it right.  I was just thinking sleep and was going to start when I woke up.  I woke up and just felt depressed because I knew there was so much that I needed and I felt too horrible to go and get it and do the things I needed to do. I want to do my shopping tonight in the dark lol.  Don't want too many people to see me. Small town.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi pat :)
Is there anyone who can pick up a few items for you?  I think I remember somebody suggesting a grocery store delivery, is that an option?
You can do this! Try to stay positive and remember you weren't feeling good even when you were taking the pills.  
My new found fun is playing draw something.  I am just awful at it and it keeps me laughing.  I am here all day if you want to message me :)
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
If you are not prepared then get yourself prepared before the withdrawal kicks in. Go to the store now and get what you need. I always tell members to set themselves up for success. Don't give yourself any excuse to fail.

Your attitude will go a long way during this process so try and turn your head around. Keep yourself busy. Focus on the positives and know that you are doing a good thing.

Keep talking. It does help.
Helpful - 0
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