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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

OMG! I have failed again!

I am soooo ashamed, I slipped again.   God please help me.  Well I am back in the saddle to fight for my life again.  Im about 19-20 hrs in I guess.  I had already been feeling bad, I had started back trying to take one, because of my shoulder pain, and I have been so depressed lately.  But ya know, I noticed they had stopped working anyhow, It would help with the pain for some hours, but as far as depression, nope, It just made me more depressed, I still felt tired as ****, its just stupid to keep taking this stuff.  Yep, I was on the percs.  I now feel so alone, ashamed, and just crazy right now.  Im wondering what is wrong with me at this point.  I would have had 26 days clean!  Well no sense in crying over spilled milk huh.  I pray someone here will, please give me some words of encouragement.  I know I can do this, and Im trying again. This is soooooo awful, Im in a serious haze right now mentally, and alot of anxiety, and depression.  Im going to hit the store, I have not been out in a few days, I just feel crazy, but I have made up my mind to stop this madness again.    Thanks for listening.
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Hey Plz Dont beat yourself up  about it too bad we all slip and fall but we get back up and start over knowing this time We will get through it, And We Will get thorough it this time you know what you have to do just put your foot Down And Keep Your Head Up And Do It, Im On 4 Days Clean And i Didnt Think Id Make it this far for 1 i have pills here and for 2 i felt that when they started talking to me i would give in but i havent, although i havent been using as long as some here i am still addicted i was talking like 8-10 a day for about 8months percs and norcos so i know what it like and its not easy so by no means look at this as a failure, just get back on the path to being clean and you can do it, You Know It And I Know.
I Wish You All the Best!
1970885 tn?1435860428
If you're having serious, legit pain, and you want to stop taking percs, then you need to talk to your doc. There are non-opioid (sp?) pain meds available. See if they will work for you. Do you have depression issues that aren't med related? Again, if so, you need to seek professional help.
And yeah, at some point pills stop working their magic, unless you take more and more. Two things that I alway preach - you have to cut all sources, and you have to get some sort of after care. If you have pills, or easy access to them, then the odds are that you will relapse. If you don't get after care, then you will have a difficult time staying clean. If possible, you should also be honest with family and loved ones. Keeping this a secret will put you on the wrong path.
I have a feeling that you know what to do. Telling your doc, dentist and pharmacy that you're an abuser is embarrassing and very difficult to do, but if you want to stay clean, you have to.
Avatar universal
I don't know anyone who hasn't slipped. I'm sure someone out there decided they where done and that was it, I just never met them. I've been trying to quit for years and finally ended up on suboxone so I wouldn't lose my family. You're doing great, because you want it. You can do this one way or another. Nobody could screw up much more than I have, but I'm finally clear headed and don't have a buzz. I have been close to death a few times. My wife would have to hit me on the chest start up my breathing when sleeping. Nothing is forever. Nobody likes giving birth to a new life, but any mother will say the pain is nothing compared to the life that came next. Good luck.
Avatar universal
If you read most of these posts we all have slipped. I looked back at my original post back in 2008...WHAT 2008! Yup slipped up many times. On Day 7 as I truly do want to beat this. I want to feel normal without any pills...I know it is possible but can never cave and have that one pill thinking it will do no harm as I am past the worst of it...Wrong! It put me back each time...This is the last time
Avatar universal
I'm on day 88 and believe me I hated myself every time I slipped and there were several but I kept trying because inwanted my life back. The realntruth is that thet stopped working I was swallowing 120 mgs of Oxys and there was nothing but self hate sure I was high but I hated myself.
You just keep coming here and being honest about getting high because believe me it's the last thing your addiction wants.
There is life after addiction. I had to change a lot of things like my Drs because even today can still pick up the phone wow I'm not liking the way it feels writing this anyway because of my cancer and legit pain I can always get Oxys. Today I choose not to. Well I'm going to a meeting now wasn't going to but that just triggered me.
Hang in there and keep trying no matter how many times you slip.
Sharon off to a meeting haven't nada craving in so long forgot what it felt like YUCH. peace and Gods grace to all sobriety is a gift and you all deserve it.
3060903 tn?1398565123
Please stop beating yourself up!! From cigarettes to opium, and as most agree, there are always slip ups!! Keep telling yourself that you know it is possible to be clean as is proven on this site.  You too will succeed!  I'm clean since 1999.Life happens!! Bless you Sharon0255 for contributing even though it puts your sobriety at risk (enough to need a meeting asap). Your voice  is needed.  I'll pray for you, i'm sorry about your having to deal with cancer, and the pain that you feel. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
3060903 tn?1398565123
PS 19-20 hours (awake) is a GREAT START!!!
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