Ok..here we go again..

[sadinmichigan]

I have been wanting to post but have been unable...seriously..I have finally admitted that I am an alcoholic..sighhh..I think the stress of this past week really showed me how much so..I basically have been drunk since last wednesday and finally today I made a decision that I can NOT do it..I hate this..I basically traded one addiction for another as I have for a long time..but it got out of hand as thats what happens when your an addict..I do not know how to really go about this (except for the obvious) stop drinking....the desire is there and I know I have to fight it just as i have fought those darn pills..thankyou to all that have been there for me these past 6 months..I am going to ask all of you for prayers and/or advice..I think just the support alone will help me.You all have been wonderful and I plan to get my tail back on here. Thankyou to my friend that listened to my drunken a$$ for the past week..you are true blue..

[joann1975]

I know you can beat this...you are strong and have already beat so much! I am here if you need me....love you....JoAnn

[sadinmichigan]

I have been drinking on average 4 dys a week for about 2 yrs..at times it was everyday. Of course I didn't get drunk everytime, but enough.I had backed off it, and by that, i mean drinking only a couple shots instead of a pint or more..But everytime it creeps back up on me to where I am drinking more than 2 shots and before I know it..it becomes an everyday thing..I am finding that I have to make a decision daily to NOT drink..because even as i sit here, i would love to have just a couple shots..what has been happening is those 2 shots are never enough and i go get more..i don't know..I just don't want to be like some of my relatives..pretty much all my moms family are alcoholics except for my mom..

[Rose703]

I'm so glad to see that you have your internet back!! Call me when you get a chance!!

[Korley]

exactly what sooner guy said

[Florida_Guy737]

Hi,

Why do you think you're an alcholic?  because you've been drinking quite a bit?  I think if you can go without and not think about the alcohol, that's good.  If you want to tip a few every now and then, well that's OK too.  I think because we became dependent on one thing, usually through no fault of our own, we automatically assume that we'll addict to everything.

I enjoy cigars every once in awhile, usually while playing cards or golf but as much as I enjoy them I can still tolerate not having any either.

Hope this make sense; you're a sweetie and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

Take Care,

Guy

[sadinmichigan]

Hi everyone..I just got my internet back on..thankgod !!! LOL..I have been ok. I haven't had a drink since before I posted but the want ..comes and goes...I finally feel better at least. So, i just wanted to say hi and am still around..and thankyou for all the support..xoxo

[road2recovery]

It took alot for you to post that i know...but goes to show how strong you are...I know counsouling is tough, it tore me up, but was the best thing i could of ever done....It is worth a shot....I know you can do this!!!
praying for you!!
r2r

[bobby139]

Girl I am so sorry to hear what has happened but completly understand, its true what others have said, we as addicts we find anything for the high and not to feel real life. I have never had a problem w drinking so i cant help you there, I know about alcoholics because as you know my husband is one and he will not admit it what so ever so you have taken the first step by admitting it...You are a very strong women, it isnt going to be easy but you can do it, for yourself and your kids..I know that i could prolly have a problem w drinking cuz i hardley do it but when i do i am the type that cant stop for the night until i pass out i cant just have a couple....I am always here for you in what ever i can do..All the prayers coming your way..
much love
bobby

[Mikeinthesouth]

gladder than he ll to see u post.

[Mikeinthesouth]

U have my support anytime. Mike

[sadinmichigan]

aww..thanks..it is so good to see you around as i have been thinking about you too..I had mentioned here and there about the drinking thing but thought (as addicts do) that i could handle it..I wasn't drinking everyday but did a few shots several times a week..then it just gets out of hand before you know it..you are sooo right about it killin ya fast..I am trying to deal with everything at once..and yes..i did kick those blasted pills..not to say that i don't have my cravings..i think that is what i just substituted instead of pills when the summer weather started kickin' in..So summer is a HUGE trigger for me..thankgod here in Michigan summer is short lived..don't be a stranger dude..lol..and thanks..xo

[opi]

hey there....i have been thinkin bout you the past couple months,,,hopping things would turn around...by your post i guess you kicked the pills...nice...it is unfortunate that you have hit the bottle...i don't remember you ever saying anything about booze so is  this new or you are just dealing with it now?..anyways i am sending possitive vibes(i only pray for a lotto win ;) ......i stopped drinking years ago...booze would lead me to other stuff so to stop everything bad i first had to quit drinking,,,turned out that booze was easy to quit...i now drink maybe once a month,,,if that..it is not a problem,,,i can't say that about to many things...anyways i will be around more often as i need to be here more than i thought...i will keep an eye out for ya...stay strong...screw booze man,,,that **** kills ya fast

[sadinmichigan]

I am finding myself very emotional right at the moment..I could never thank you all enough for the support and care you have given me..wow...wipe the tears..ok..I know I can do this..i had to get to the point I guess of beating myself up..i look horrible..kinda like someone took a baseball bat to my head and limbs..you would think doing that a few times would be enough...I am going to do whatever it takes..I have always resisted AA and counseling but...now I think is a good time..with everything going on at home..it's just all too much..divorce is a bad thing but i have done all I can do...teenagers..ahhhhhh..deep breath..still don't know where my precious daughter is..SO..I do need to find a different way to deal with all this stuff..heck, can't even get into the childhood thing..i think thats what always scared me about counseling..i don't want to go there..but, whatever i need to do..I am ready to fight..in my baby book it says on almost every page how STUBBORN i am.LOL..I need to use it to my advantage..I really have grown to care about many of you..thankyou guys/girls...you are the best group of people i have ever met..(funny..i feel like I know you all..lol)
All my love to each and everyone of you!!!

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

You got it sister - I didnt wake up until it was too late for the liver......glad that you got an earlier call. Think about that next time you want a drink. I can describe some pretty gruesome symptoms of liver failure for you........please dont go there -   eagle

[joann1975]

sweetie...you can and will beat this! i know you.... i sent you a pm.... you know i am here for you ....love you! (sorry i didn't see this sooner...not been around much taking care of my friend after her surgery) joann

[memommy4]

You can do this!! I have read so many post on here the last 6 months and always see how strong you are. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Decisions]

Hi Sad,
The only thing I know is hydros.  But my dad was a alcoholic and so was my brother.
They both died from it.  Actually , complications from the disease.
Funny the way I look at things. I see alcohol abuse as a disease, but hydro use as a habit/dependenct/addiction. Maybe because I am still a bit in denial and I did take for a medical reason even tho I did go overboard..
I don't see myself as ever being a daily drinker. It's june and I doubt I've had more than 10 drinks this year.  the buzz never attracted me to keep going that way.  So I think I am lucky there.  My mom also never drinks, and maybe I inhereted it from her.

I hope you find your way out of "this" woods..  sad?  we don't want to lose you, and I have watched first-hand with it does to close family.  Funny, you can buy alcohol all day long and it can do you in faster than the illicit DOC some of us take.

I have a friend who was a alcoholic, and he quit c/t.  now and then, he has a glass of wine, etc.  He has been "sober" for 3 years, and  according to him he has had 4 drinks since on the wagon. He feels he can handle a glass of wine on rare occasion, but he programmed himself to HATE the habit of buying a 12 pack every night, and falling into a stupor.  It took his wife leaving him to open his eyes.

Get strong in your will to quit, and you can do it!

Best.. Decisions

[desperate1111]

sad, i know for a fact you can beat this. my sister was (is) an alcolholic. she now has a disease caused by drinking too much.  she has no feeling in her feet and hands. its called alcohol neuropathy something like that. she was in a wheelchair for alomst 2 years. i'm sure your drinking isn't that bad. if anyone can whip this its you! i quit drinking 15 years ago, i liked it too much. guess i just traded adictions too. looks like it runs in my family doesn't it. good luck to you.

[lifesaride]

so, looks like your going for the big trifecta

[GoingToMakeIt]

Lisa, you have made another huge step in your recovery process. Even though it is now alcohol, as you said, it is trading one for another. With all you have gone through, please go get counseling. It is one of those things we all fight trying to do but once you start going. It is such a relief and help. There are reasons you want to hide from life's problems. Drugs and alcohol help to numb that pain. Soonerguy mentioned AA and this is an excellent place to start. Many here have preferred AA over NA. GL

[sadinmichigan]

you all are great..I am relieved this morning having finally posted..and I feel alot better physically.Don't look to hot...So this morning will be day 1 of no drinking..hey- how many trackers can we have..lol..I have an upcomming 2 yr celebration off of methadone (aug1) and the pill thing ended march 7..geeez..
this really feels today ,like the forum I knew 6 months ago..what a relief..thanks all,

[newgirl2708]

One for another. Go check, it's in our resume's...
Addicts Job Skills: Will replace one compulsion for another on a moments notice.
See it...? Second paragraph.

You are already ahead of the game, you know what's wrong, you know what to do and you have a plan. A lot of people don't.

PLUS; We're here for you.
love,
ng

[bandnmom]

Dont let your addict mind get the best of you. With all you have going on in your life this is the last thing you need to do..add more on your plate. Yes im sure when you are drinking its all good. No worry, no hurting and most of all everything is just great!!! You know the truth though when you final wake up to reality! Its good to feel and hurt. Dont let all that is going on in your life take hold of you. You have come so far my friend. Please make the choice to stop before its to late.  I'm here for ya if you ever need to talk. Stay strong. Not only for you but for your children. They need there momma!!
Hugs,
jen

[CadillacJack]

Lisa!
I've been missing you much. Summertime fun just got the better of you for awhile. As strong a person as your obviously are, I have no doubt about you controlling the alcohol. It's just another drug. Can't go there.
Love & daily thoughts

cj