On suboxone again- help

[cleangimnow]

Hello all,

I am back again. Unfortunately I started back on suboxone about four months ago. I found myself going to emergency clinics to gett pills and buying from friends. I have a high profile public job. A doctor at one emergency clinic said to me "you were just at a clinic two days ago and were prescribed hydro". He prescribe tramadol "luckily". I got scared. Oh btw I was drinking heavily too. My recovery was great until I moved and started this new job. I went to my doctor here who I had already told that I had a problem with opiates on the front end(before prescribed sub). He told me that if things started to slip that I might need to get back on sub. I already detoxed from it before. Anyway I am on 6 mg which is too much really. Everyone including my family thinks that I have been a super hero lately te way that I work long hours and what I have accomplished. I'm rather ashamed because they don't know. I need help getting off!!! I am ready AGAIN

[cleangimnow]

Thanks all for the input. Im sorry that it's been a while since I posted.  I could be having trouble trying to cut too quickly. Writing it down would help a lot. Great idea. I am a veteran addict unfortunately. I have to wean down a little more b4 I can jump. I'm not as scared of the wds as much as I am that void that never seems to go away. I hate living this lie. My wife will likely be done if I say anything. I feel like the sub has helped. I got on it b4 I let life spiral out of control with the drug seeking behavior and the major ups and downs. Time to quit now that life feels more stable. Please pray for me!  

[weaver71]

Subs are eliminated from your system to minus 1% in 21 days. I think you may be having problems with the taper from going to fast at 10 days for each drop. I have a friend that did the 1mg every 21 to 30 days and she didn't really have any problems until she was down to 1mg. Coming off subs on the sly is a long, slow process. You can do it, but I would write down your taper plan and use all your strength to stick with it. If you CT, there's no danger, but it will be very difficult to hide your detox.

I never encourage trying to hide your problem. I was super embarrassed to admit my last relapse, but the humility it took to ask for help, AGAIN, was what really helped me get through it. I don't know your situation, though I relate to not wanting to admit my shortcomings. I decided that I was going to quit if it killed me. I told everyone, cut my supply, and went to AA, NA, group suboxone counseling, and asked friends and family to confront me if they thought I was using again and told them what to look for, like getting a lot done all of a sudden. I left no room for failure. If I had started using again I would have lost everything. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but that's what it took for me to get honest with myself and those around me. When I felt bad or tempted, I could talk openly. That really helped me stay on point. Just my two cents. Keep posting and march forward, you'll get through this.

[Bad Co]

.....I had a bunch more typed out about how much N/A meetings had helped me, but it deleted that part. Anyways...N/A meeting really helped me and maybe you could give them a try after you stop using?

Best of luck brother.. I wish you all the courage and strength to get through this any way that you can!

[Bad Co]

Hey there- I went through the same steps you have. Everyone thought I was clean, yet I was still working 60 hour weeks and coming home to work around home. I hid my relapse over and over again from my wife, job, son. I had the ultimate "alter ego". Hydros was my DOC for over a decade, and then I went on suboxone thinking it would help me with my w/d's. It did, but I was still stuck with my new Suboxone addiction. I took them for 7 months (from the street) I started out at .2mg/day and due to my addictive nature it escalated to almost 16mg/day. I finally had enough and just quit cold turkey 57 days ago. Not going to lie, as you know it was miserable but tolerable. I worked through most of the w/d's (except for the first week) It's been a slow journey, but I have finally made it. I don't crave pills, I live a normal life and don't need pills to function. It's a miracle, but it was one hell of a journey.

[ImDONENoMore]

What are you doing for aftercare?  Most of us can't just stop our DOC and move on without some consistent form of treatment.  Especially early on.

And maybe it's time to cold-turkey if the wean has been so hard?  Unless you have other health issues to be concerned about, cold-turkey won't kill you.  It'll hurt for awhile, yeah, but it's totally doable in the right circumstances.

[cleangimnow]

Any more thoughts???  

I am struggling to wean. Please help me!!!!

I need help. Why is it so hard?  I don't like it thy much. I'll try to take 2 mg and then I'll end up doing that twice in a day. Not really getting much out of it. Probably just my addictive nature. I'm in a deeper hole than I would be just taking hydros. Should I try to get some of those and wean?  Heeellllpppll!!!!

[paman1980]

Suboxone is bull ****. They replace one opiate addiction with another.Yes you don't withdraw as bad off suboxone then going cold turkey, but they make tons of money of you. I'm on day 15 clean from 100-200mg OC everyday for 8+ years. First 12 days sucked but I made it. Then I went to the doctor and got vivitrol. It's only a opiate blocker, no opiates at all. I just takes away the cravings. Suboxone has 2 chemicals: opiates & opiate blocker. The vivitrol has been great for me. Takes the cravings away and no side effects. And if I dont want to take it for 5 days I have 0 with draw symptoms. Please talk to your doctor about that instead.

[cleangimnow]

I am cutting to 4 mg for 10 days, 3 mg for 10 days, 2 mg 10 days, 1mg 10 days, .5 mg 10 days, then .5 every other day for 20 days. My doctor wants to make the cuts every month bc of my history. Thoughts?  I'm also finding a new therapist today. NA didn't work that well for me.

[ImDONENoMore]

Good!  And great that you came back.

And yup, I remember thinking how great it was that I could be "superwoman" on the pills.  What a joke... they turned on me big time.

So what is your plan?