Open Forum............. Does anyone know anything about eyes

[OxyDout]

as usual this is an open forum.  Sorry for the unrelated question, but does anyone know anything about eyes?  I woke up yesterday and my eye was extremely swollen and it hurt a lot, its still the same way...... Its not conjuntivitis (sp) what else could it be? I didn't get hit or anything..... if anyone has any info I would appreciate it.

gwh

[CATUF]

I've been reading all day here on & off, but haven't had time for but a short post (and even in that I misspelled the first word -- it was supposed to be "I'll, not "All").  Anyway, it's close to 7:00 and I think time to head home for the weekend - I'm too whooped to write anything worth reading.  

Hope everyone has a good weekend. And WW, I hope your new year is off to a good start!

CATUF
(@33 and counting)

[Starraven]

You made the first step and you should be proud of yourself.  I know you are feeling like hell right now. I know all about the whispers driving your crazy.  You have been on and off viks for a very long time and it is going to take time to figure out who you are and how to cope sober.  Everyone here knows what you are going through,  a wonderful group of people that have become MY new addiction. I didn't make it to day 32 because of my willpower by any means.  Keep reading and posting..Each day will become better and this forum is here, everyday, twenty four hours a day. :)
Good luck to you
Hugs
Star/Suzette

[percsnomas]

I'm glad you found this Forum!!!
Your in the hardest part of the physical w/d's right now, BUT it will start to improve soon.
Are you doing the "Thomas Recipe"? It will help you with lethargy, and just generally speed up your recovery.
Congrats on declaring "enough is enough"....that is a huge step!!
Post more of your story....We care....and can help

I'll be coming up on 3 months off percs(3-4yrs use), and i can tell you firsthand, there is life after percs,vikes,etc...and a damn good one!!!!!

[percsnomas]

Di, I've read your post a couple of times, and don't want to give you a 'melba toast' response.
You sound so grounded........and yes i do know what you mean about not knowing who this new person is Yet. Just don't be in to big of a hurray to figure "it" all out. At least this  new door your opening/have opened won't be back into an outhouse with no hole......
There are so many positives to recovery i didn't even think about...like when i arrived at home from my Washington trip Tuesday night and greeted by my wife; BANG, it was like i was falling in love again with this amazing human being; after being perc-numb for 4 of our 5 years married.  Now i'm not saying to anyone, go out and get hopelessly addicted to narcs like me, just to feel that 'hopelessly in love' experience, more than once.....but what a bonus!!  I just can't believe how pills can rob you of virtually everything; when they start off feeling soooo good.
I hope you continue posting....I know my M-I-L will be soon.
As always,
Percs No More

[bmac]

I agree with that!

[gia]

Hi,
This is my first post and I am on my third day off of Vicoprofrens. I've been using off and on for about 5 years, and have decided enoughis enough. I don't even know who I really am. About the meetings, I just started going myself and I am not to sureon what to make of them. All I know is that whether you're in a meeting or a forum, it just helps to be around other people that share your same illness. And believe me addiction is an ilness just like cancer, and if you beat it you're a survivor. This has been this hardest thing for me. I feel that without getting high my life has no meaning because it was the only thing I had to look forward to. I don't even remember how life is sober because I got addicted at 18yrs old. Is there life after vico, any encouraging words would help at this time. I also read the earlier posts about the whispers and I agree. They are however driving me crazy, I wish I could just turn them off and  I would be okay. Well I wish the best of luck to anyone out there who is going through withdrawal because it is tough. I have just been telling myself, " its just the flu."

[Nod]

Hope your eye is better.  If its painfully swollen and red it could be iritis. While not that common it can effect one eye and not the other.  I believe it is related to arthitis.  I have a disease called anklosing spondylitis and some of the side effects can be iritis.  Just thought give me 2 cents.  I'd probably go to an eye doctor first as that is where you primary would send you anyway.  Take care, Nod

[percsnomas]

Hey Diane......I did post a response below(this morning).

Thanks.....she definately was at the "end"; and didn't take much to get the 'opening up' started. Once she felt I was there as a friend, and understood her drug problems, and that i wasn't there to judge, she poured out everything.  It was awesome.

As far as me and my addiction, i handled all kinds of vicoden, pills of every kind, etc, and wasn't phased in the least.

I feel really good about my ongoing recovery, but remain "offensive" as i mentioned below.
You know, your story(about having the rehab or jail option), was one i thought about tons before this whole thing; because i look at you as an ongoing success story, and it came about in an "intervention" manner....so to speak.

HOW DO YOU FEEL????

[peaz]

Hi--I had posted down below to you right before you left but you must not have seen it.  So I'll move up here.  Anyway, I'm relieved to hear how well everything went!!  Your M-I-L must really want help to have listened to you, and that's half the battle right there.  She must have been at the end of her rope, and her rescuer just happened to be there!!  I know your wife is happy, too.  So WAY TO GO PERCS!!!  Keep us posted from time-to-time on progress.      Peaz

P.S.  How did this whole thing affect YOU??  Are you okay??  Aren't you glad you're sober so you can help her?  Take care

[peaz]

Well, dad gum it!! I do believe I AM a succes story, now that I think about it!  Thank you for the kind thought.  God knows if anything is going to be different this time around, it will have to be that my self-esteem gets nourishment.  Otherwise I will fall back into the abyss out of desparation and apathy.  But, considering last year at this time, I was smack (oooh--don't use that word!) dab in the middle of my addiction, and drinking chablis on a nightly basis to help me sleep from the vike rush.  Chain smoking pretty much rounded out the vignette...I was stressed beyond belief; running my little heart out on a treadmill to nowhere.
   When this situation w/ my sister came up (again) I decided that my "confrontation" and subsequent recovery is probably one of the best things that ever happened to me.  I know I am a different person, and that's probably a GOOD thing.  I just don't know WHO that individual is yet.  Know what I mean?  If ever there was a dramatization of the adage,"When one door shuts, another one opens", my scenario is just that.
  So, now--how DO I feel?  (see--I'm getting there..)  I feel MAHVELOUS!!  I look younger;all the stress is gone from my face, I work out like a madman and love every minute of it.(I've lost 30 pounds!!)  I eat right, drink tons of water, and am down to 5 ciggs a day.  I'm quitting those in January.  I bet my sister I would or I'd shave my head.  So the next letter she wrote to me was,"Dear Baldy,...."  Ha! I'll show her!! I quit once before for about 7-8 years, CT, so I know I can do it.  Hell--if I can do narcs and booze, I can do these, too.  Right? I'm only working part time at the radio station, so I can have a slower-paced day until I'm ready to go full blast again.  I have time to read, play piano and my violin, and do my daily crossword.  Life is good!! I am so pleased to be typing all this (obviously, my dear) because I really haven't taken the time for a major assessment until you asked me.  SO thank you, percs, for your concern.
   I hope your M-I-L  is able to put her head down and battle this thing head-on.  As much as I dislike about AA, they have one thing right: it IS one day at a time, or even five minutes at a time.  I wish her the very best.  Thanks everyone for allowing me this novella.   Love---Di

[mrmichael67]

It is ***@****.  I wasn't coming back, but someone told me you had asked for my e-mail.  That is it for now.  This place will never change.

[puma]

Taeme,

I can see your point. I also have gone through many years of suspicious doctors thinking I was drug seeking because I have a chronic pain problem that they never used to recognize until now. Fibromyalgia and Lupus.

I got so pissed off many years ago at these arrogant HMO doctors, mostly physicians assistants which can not write narc scripts anyway and they don't want to bother the experienced docs, so they treat everyone with over the counter ****.

I actually considered at one time over a decade ago about growing my own poppies and making my own opium for pain killing.
I instead went to booze for pain relief, became disgustingly addicted, had the shakes every morning, had to drink around the clock 24/7 to stop the withdrawal symptoms, finally detoxed, went through hell for months with seizures and Delirium Tremens, etc.

That changed my mind about trying to get stronger stuff because I did not want addiction in my life anymore. It only eventually becomes worse than your initial pain and problems.

Some people can control pain meds, others can not.

Ask your doc for Ultrum, a non-narcotic pain killer, it works like Codiene for me. The only thing is, many here have had problems with it, either not working effectively enough or getting addicted and going through withdrawals.

I know what the desperation and humiliation feels like but the withdrawals can be far worse, even deadly in the case of alcohol and benzodiazapines. If you do manage to find one doc who prescribes what you want, be prepared for that doc to move away or something and then it's cold turkey withdrawal if you can not find another one to prescribe something for you.

There are medications specifically for migrains but usually psychiatrists are the ones dishing those out along with anti-depressants and so on. They also can weed out whether you are simply fishing for drugs or might really need them. They also can recommend you to a pain specialist who is the real doc for giving out pain meds.

I am babbling so I had better stop. Hope some of this makes sense and is helpful. Good luck.

Chatahan

[OxyDout]

well said, I agree that meetings are not for everyone and are very much a let down, too miserable for me.  Good luck with your search, I guess from what I have read Bup works incredibly well, someone posted up above, it may even have been you, that all you need is 1mg, that sounds about right as anything higher then that would most likely be your addictive side asking for more.

[lisabet]

Wow - what a post!  I think you've hit it right on the head.  I also think addiction is caused by a biochemical imbalance. What else would explain why some people can take meds the proper way and never get addicted, and some (like myself) can't. Another poster (don't remember who) said it right: 1 is too many - 1000 is not enough. I also feel that this imbalance runs in families. There is a lot of alcoholism in mine and some drug abuse. Sadly, I've seemed to inherit this "gene"...smile.  I've been taking the "recipe" to help me taper and it really seems to help take the edge off; this is probably due to the vitamins and l-tyrosine doing their number on our brain, maybe "balancing" it a little???  I'm kinda rambling--hope this makes sense.  Everybody have a good day, and happy Halloween. (We usually have over 100 of the little trick-or-treaters, so gotta make a run and get candy sometime today...I wait till the last minute so I don't eat all the candy!)..ha.  Since I've been tapering I've developed a major sweet tooth...what's up with that?  Take care, Lisabet

[groovygirl]

Hi - if you are comfortable posting your email, could you?  I want to ask you something...thanks.

[Bodymechanic]

Yes you are right. I am looking for a drug, buprenx.  I have tried the "social cure" for addiction AA, NA, therapy and they do work.  But the price is so high.  Meetings 7 days a week. Call my sponsor get involved with service work.  You know the drill.  I don't know about you but I have 2 private practices,  a wife, a child, 3 cars, a morgage and everything else that goes along with that. I don't have time to take care of my responsiblities and play around with the 12 step crowd.  Frankly after being around them for over 15 years I find their retoric to be negative and counter productive.  Have you ever heard anything good in a step meeting. It's all about the gloom and doom of the world and thank god we have these meetings. Not to mention the pissing and the whining that goes on in these places.  I usually come out feeling more depressed and hopeless than when I went in. I can't imagine anything more disempowering then telling someone that they are powerless.  Take a look at the science and you will see that is pure 12 step BS.  Who by the way has it's own financial agenda.  Don't get me started on these people.  I say all this and overall I LIKE AA AND NA, I have made some good friends there. Statistically it is pathetic failure using AA's own stats of 5% cure rate over 5 years.  Suppose your doctor told you that you have a progressive and fatal illness with a 5% cure rate.  Would you not look for other alternatives.

So now my search is for a biochemical cure.  Addiction is a biochemical disorder of the brain.  If you don't believe me pop some oxycotin and see how much your mood and outlook changes.  I am convinced if the medical profession wanted to, this problem could have been solved a long time ago.  Bupenorophine and even deprenly have shown some promise in treating the addict. Why should I have to scream and beg to get the help I need just because of the twisted preciption by the public propogated by the media about the addict.

I mean all this in a kind and loving way.  And I really don't mean to direct my frustration at you Hippie personally.  But this reality needs to stated. Maybe if we all scream the same song the government and them medical establisment will start listening to us.

Peace

[taeme]

I don't know exactly.  I'm not looking, I didn't mean to suggest that you or anyone else in particular was looking either.  I just know that in the past I have look in sites like these and others to find out that exact information.  I on the other hand haven't found it easy to access drugs, like oxy's, perc's, hydro's cause I have never been in any serious accident.  I do have cluster headaches, and chronic back pain, along with various stomach ailments(most of the stomach stuff I did to myself).  I may be looking for support, to know things like"ya, hey I did that too, I've been there, how'd you handle it?"This type of stuff.  But also, when I am having pain how can I get treated appropriately for what I am experiencing.  Since I'm in a new city I haven't really seen many physicians, I have only been twice to see one in town however I feel that she is suspicious and overly cautious with prescribing narcs.  She only tried giving me darvocet, for sharp non-continuous back pain that radiates to the front that has had me nearly bed ridden.  I know I could look for a different doc. but I'm not sure I can find one more open minded and besides without insurance these costs are killing me.  My one recent appointment cost me 110 dollars and as a student I only make around 150 every two weeks.  Now she wants me to come back 2 days later cause I said that what she prescribed wasn't cutting it.  My symptoms are the same as they were just the other day, she did cultures, urinalisis etc... So why should I have to come back in for more tests when she believes its either a UTI or kidney stones.  I'm on antibiotics(like I said she did cultures) so this infection if it is a UTI should be susceptible to the antibiotics.  I just need a stronger pain med. I'm afraid since I do have a medical background and know what I want and therefore get irritated with bogus scripts like darvocet that I am being labelled almost immediately as a drug seeker.  I am wise enough not to ask right out for what I want.  I have found if ever I ask for what I need its automatically a red flag. But why should I waist my time and money on drugs that don't work.  I don't know if Darvocet, T3 I just tolerant to or if these are just not strong enough for my pain.  It seems in this state they are very suspicious.  I never had these problems where I used to live.

[taeme]

Here's the truth of it. Most are looking here for advice on how and where to get what we want.  How to convince Dr's etc... we have what we say we have.  And then how to get the meds we want without them catching on.  Do you feel that male or female Dr.s seem to be more skeptical?  I don't know how everyone got started often I think it has to do with under medicating in the first place.  I sometimes wish darvocet had never been invented, for me I would rather take an 800mg Ibuprofen for all its worth. I am so frustrated finding a physician that doesn't try to placate me with a fancy named prescription for robitussin.  I'm quite educated in the medical field and things like this really erk me.  If I seem too educated I seem like a drug seeker, if I'm too weak I get tylenol and plenty of fluids.  I tired of spending my money with repeated visits.  If they know you just came in and then ask you to come back the next day after you've just called to say the medicine isn't working, do they not believe you? Especially if they have already done tests and cultures the first time?  Should we not be able to ask for what works? What if we happen to know a lot about medicine should we play dumb for fear of being labelled an addict, a drug seeker?  I often wonder if Darvocet is given when they don't believe you but are afraid to blatantly deny you pain meds? Maybe darvocet does something for some of you, I don't know.  Is it okay for me to let the Dr. know that even though I am hurting I can't afford(out of pocket, no insurance) to come in and try all the intermediary medication because he/she feel I may be a drug seeker.   The intermediary medications are what I call the fluff medications, you would have been better off grabbing yourself a bottle of niquil cold and fluid medicine.  I don't know if its my age(female 25),my problems(migraines, backpain, kidney stones----of course these are all over a long period of time)I guess these fall into the "watch for addicts" diagnoses.  I never had this much trouble when I was younger.  Maybe I don't know what a normal patient is supposed to do.  All I know is that when I was younger I hadn't tried as many medications, I know what doesn't work, and in general if they are in the same class they won't work either. Why should I have to pay for a medicine I know probably won't work just cause they need to see that I am not just seeking narcotics.  Now I'm just getting mad so I'll stop rambling and ask you opinion.  I know I said a lot but try and answer anything you can, I really am very frustrated.  Thanks.

[hippy]

well  i have to say , we are not here to find out where to get  drugs what we want.
being and addict , getting and finding drugs has never been a problem , at all ever.
the reason i come here like other's is to escape the the nightmare of addiction to  drugs like perc;s vikes and oxy.
this fourm has helped a lot of addicts get off this train to hell. and i am one of them., and i talk with a lot of other member   doing the same thing.

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ps. what are you here for.

[rinconmann]

Bup is legal in the UK. Doctors in the US have to be addiction specialists and have training to Rx it. I Rx you call methadone clinics in your area and ask them where and what they know about it and where you can find it. Be very careful. It is very powerful and probably more so than methadone. I was on it for a year. Very stable med as it is a 24 hr med. Brought alot of stability to my life instead of hydro (short actors). You should try to get by on 2mg a day then 1mg. I PROMISE you really do not need more than that as the higher you maintain on the harder you will WD. Remember, 2mg a day for pain and addiction. 4-8 is too much. It can take 7 days to adjust from higher doses to 2 but I speak with alot of experience.

Good luck.

[Bodymechanic]

Does anyone know what is going on with buprenx.  When it will be available.  The more I hear about it the worse it sounds.  Daily visits to a doctors office.  Peeing in cups. Pretty much all the same dehumanizing stuff as being on methadone. When will they begin to treat us with dignity. I am a professional, own a home, pay lots of taxes, husband, father and with the exception of buying drugs I have never in my life broken the law.  I am getting fed up.

Peace

[Sugarbeens]

I am so relieved to hear from you.  It is great about your mom-in-law.  I don't know her age, but, imagine it is close to mine, so anyone can become addicted as we know.  I was 40 before I ever took anything that could alter my mood, and although I have always taken only medically and legally, I still know I am addicted to them.  I will continue to pray for her and all of us and tell her to hang in there, that she has lots of love and support.  You have a wonderful family, it sounds so special.  Love to all.

[athena]

Hi all
Sorry to break the thread but I discovered a wonderful thing for pain this week and wanted to share.It seems I am having a problem with pinched nerves in my back,not sure of the cause yet,MRI is tomorrow.Anyway,the doc called in hydrocodone and lidoderm patches.Because of my previous addiction to hydro,im scared to take them.The lidocain patches are like a miracle .They really cut down the burning stinging pain better than hydro.I get about 75% relief from them.They were approved by FDA for shingles pain but seem to work on any nerve pain.The best part is,NO ADDICTION POTENTIAL unless you just want to literally be numb all over.lol I hope this info will help someone,it has sure saved me.

pixi

[percsnomas]

Hi Pixi......haven't communicated before , but have read tons of your positive posts.....Thanks for kind words

I've talked so much about this place with 'ma', that she wants a steady diet of it...and are setting up a cmpt for her at home when she's finished detoxing.

It's going to be strange seeing posts from her.....just trying to figure out what her "stagename" will be.......

how bout 'Throw Momma From the Train' haha....imaginations going