Open forum for the day

[tex3]

Hi everyone. I was able to post so thought I'd leave space for anyone with questions to post here. Looks like lots of new people are around - welcome!

[JustinTime]

i am reading the different things in here, i am looking for a forums alcohol addiction, maybe i am not in the right area, or something.  i posted a message in another area as well.  yesterday i was not feeling well so stayed home. minor hangover from the nite before, so what do i do..i tell myself i can just get a 6 pack, thats it. 5 hours later it turned into another 6 pack.  it's like, my mind just up and leaves me, no train of thought, so this morning after, almost feels like the scary feeling i had back in april, i physcially felt bad, meaning dizzy, almost fainting, arm/legs feeling heavy. it lasted for 45mins that feeling, with about 20mins of it, having to sit down cause i felt so dizzy.  it scared me, big time, and i don't want that to happen to me again.  i stopped drinking after that, got some help, stayed clean for a little over 2 mths,  and when i started again, i just slowly slipped back to the old ways once again.  i am upset with myself for letting it get to this point again.  yesterday i over did my limit big time, and this is why i am feeling it like this today.  i wish i had a secret button that i could push, and poof, this feeling, this addicton, would be gone.

[percsnomas]

your at the right place to start to take your life back..
Get the Thomas Recipe(specifically B-6,L-Tyrosine,Pre-Natal Vitamin,etc...it's posted everywhere) I found bananas worked reasonably well for RLS.

I also have a 4yr old(and a 2yr old)so I can relate; and came off a 3-4yr percocet love affair.

TRUST ME, IT GETS BETTER (with time)
Read everything in here, have lots of hot baths,any exercise will help(even though that probably is the furthest thing on your mind), and just don't be too hard on yourself.

Sounds like your taking the first steps!
ps. there are several other meds that people have used for RLS; just read on...

[DearDawn]

First time on board ... hello.  I'm up late on the internet because I was looking for ways to ease Lortab withdrawals.  I am experiencing the restless legs as we speak and can not sleep.  I have to find a way to stop this and get some rest.  Any ideas?  I saw a few suggestions but is there anything else?  I am so miserable.  I have a 4 year old daughter and the withdrawals are making it extremely difficult to be a Mom.  I'm sure some of you will understand.  I don't have any other withdrawal symptons other than the RLS and it's making me feel as if I'm losing my mind.  HELP!!  The sad part is that I am just waiting on my next fix.  When my refill becomes available, I'll just keep on using because I can't handle the withdrawals.  I want off these things soooooo bad.  I hate this kind of life!  I am up to 10 Lortab 7.5 per day.  I can get by on less but in order to keep my "buzz" and energy for the day, I have to take 10.  I haven't taken any more than that.  And, by the way, I noticed others writing about stealing drugs from other people's medicine cabinets.  Well,  judge me too then!  I've done it all.  I've faked illnesses, stolen, faked illnesses to my kid's doctor so I can get narcotic cough medicine.  It's really sad.  I could use some serious support and suggestions to easing the withdrawals.  I'm dead set on beating this but if I can't ease the withdrawals at least a little bit, I'll just keep on using when my refill becomes available.  Thanks guys for listening.  I look forward to your comments even the judgemental ones even though I don't think any of us have any room to judge.  Addiction makes you do things so unlike yourself and you all know it!  Thanks again.

[DearDawn]

First time on board ... hello.  I'm up late on the internet because I was looking for ways to ease Lortab withdrawals.  I am experiencing the restless legs as we speak and can not sleep.  I have to find a way to stop this and get some rest.  Any ideas?  I saw a few suggestions but is there anything else?  I am so miserable.  I have a 4 year old daughter and the withdrawals are making it extremely difficult to be a Mom.  I'm sure some of you will understand.  I don't have any other withdrawal symptons other than the RLS and it's making me feel as if I'm losing my mind.  HELP!!  The sad part is that I am just waiting on my next fix.  When my refill becomes available, I'll just keep on using because I can't handle the withdrawals.  I want off these things soooooo bad.  I hate this kind of life!  I am up to 10 Lortab 7.5 per day.  I can get by on less but in order to keep my "buzz" and energy for the day, I have to take 10.  I haven't taken any more than that.  And, by the way, I noticed others writing about stealing drugs from other people's medicine cabinets.  Well,  judge me too then!  I've done it all.  I've faked illnesses, stolen, faked illnesses to my kid's doctor so I can get narcotic cough medicine.  It's really sad.  I could use some serious support and suggestions to easing the withdrawals.  I'm dead set on beating this but if I can't ease the withdrawals at least a little bit, I'll just keep on using when my refill becomes available.  Thanks guys for listening.  I look forward to your comments even the judgemental ones even though I don't think any of us have any room to judge.  Addiction makes you do things so unlike yourself and you all know it!  Thanks again.

[alexandra_r]

Your exercise story sounds very familiar to me--I also have a herniated disc on L4 - L5, which was hitting up against my sciatic nerve when it became inflamed.  After more than a year of physical therapy, yoga, etc, I believe I can manage the pain with ibuprofen.  It's a real struggle now because I am tapering the vikes and now my back is hurting.  psychosomatic? perhaps, but perhaps not, but I want to get off the vikes permanently--I don't think the dose I was taking was really helping the pain anymore anyway--I was using them the last 6 months just to avoid the inevitable withdrawal.  Good luck--I am also addicted to working out--but at least it I don't go through w/d when I miss a day!

[AlexisInTx]

Yes, those natural endorphins are what I'm striving for now.  I get dizzy when trying to exercise longer than 5-10 minutes and I'm still dealing with pain, so I'm going to take it it small increments.  

I really was an avid exerciser before w/d's - would take a 90 minute advanced stepping class at the gym, would have my husband spot me with lifting -- I hate to see my muscle tone deteriorate and my strength leave :(  But most of all, I think that the feeling I got during/after working out is something I was really seriously addicted to.  I did tend to push myself a little harder than I should have because I was taking those Norco's - they gave me abundant energy and I wouldn't feel the pain of my herniated disks (L4/L5) so I could push myself harder (not a good thing), and now I'm dealing with the repurcussions from that.

[mrmichael67]

Working out is definitely the best thing to get the endorphins going again.  It is a shame that they haven't come up with an endorphin supplement yet.  I am sure that will happen in the future.  They have done pain studies with natural endorphins and they of course work excellent.  It just so happens when a 'normal' person gets hurt bad, the body doesn't produce enough of them to work well enough.

[alexandra_r]

Working out is one of the best things that you can do to get yourself back to normal.  I am _forcing_ myself to do this every day, but it is very hard.  The benefit is not really immediate.  Why working out is so beneficial:  When you become addicted to opiates, your body stops producing endorphins (which are your body's own natural painkillers).   This is why withdrawal from opiates is so painful--if a normal person did not have endorphins, he/she would be in pain all the time.  When you stop taking the opiates, your body has to "learn" to make the endorphins again.  Exercise increases endorphin production and will help your body to get to the point where it is once again producing endorphins.

Keep at it--even walking helps--but the harder you can work out the better.

[AlexisInTx]

Hi - I was looking up the 'recipe' here and also did some research on the web and came up with some interesting information on L-Tyrosine and B-complex vitamins (taken along with a multi-vitamin/mineral supplement).  I know that this has already been discussed here, but has anyone read Dr. Slagle's, "The Way Up From Down"?  The book is supposed to give you natural treatments (that include a Co-Enzyme B Complex, Pyridoxal-5-Phosphate, Vitamin C and tyrosine) to treat depression that can result from prescription medication.  I found her website last night and it gives you a recipe as well, is this the one?:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
1.With meals - be sure to be taking a good multi-vitamin mineral as directed on the label.

2.With breakfast - take 1-2 Co-Enzyme B Complex

3.With dinner - take 1 Vitamin C.

4. Upon arising on an empty stomach - take 1-4 tyrosine capsules or 1/2 to 1 tsp of powder at least 1/2 hr or more before eating but may use with fruit - just no protein.  As needed, if not adequate results after 1 week can add a mid morning between meals repeat dose of tyrosine. As needed if not adequate results after 1 more week can add a third dose to be taken mid-afternoon between meals.

5.With each dose of tyrosine take 1 Pyridoxal-5-Phosphate.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry if this is repeat information, but I wanted to see if this was what everyone is talking about.  I already take a good multi-vitamin/mineral and also use flaxseed, juice (carrot, citrus, etc.) 2x a day, eat whole foods, etc., but this particular regimen really intrigues me.    

Thanks for bringing this up, I'm definitely going to try it.

Alexis

[tex3]

Hi and welcome! Things will gradually look up. Remember how long you abused your body, and in that respect it's really amazing that it doesn't take even longer to get it back together. That said, one thing that really helps is the recipe. As soon as I started taking the supplements (although admittedly I only take a few, not the whole thing) my energy level and enthusiasm for life really turned around. Try it; you've got nothing to lose and a lot to gain. You can find it in any of many posts on here, or post a comment asking for it. I take a strong multi-vitamin and the l-tyrosone, but not the other stuff, and it really helps me. Hang in there, keep posting, take skipper's advice to force yourself to do the things you know you need to do but don't want to, be patient, and you'll get there. The cravings might still hit you from left field (I got vicious ones this week) but even these are intermittent for many.
tracy

[skipper]

alexis:
exercise anyway. things will get beter. the only hitch is things
will not get beter on you time table. like i said before, it's a
*****, but what ya' gonna do?

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[AlexisInTx]

Thanks, skipper. I have wrestled with this particular question for awhile now (or so it seems - can you see me playing my tiniest of violins?  I thought you could. :) )  I've also been reading throughout the forum since I asked that question and I see that it's a question that's been asked time and again.  I actually thought someone would say, "just give it 1 month, 25 days and 6 hours and you'll be back to your former, before drug-usage self, good as new".

I have tried working out, and actually accomplished it more than 6 times since I've quit, but I haven't actually 'felt' better afterward.  I used to really look forward to taking those pills, and I always wonder why - sometimes it seems as if I have nothing to look forward to anymore (whine).  But the toll they take -- the feeling of not being able to get up in the morning, the counting of pills, the mood swings, the damage to your body, etc., not worth it.

[skipper]

hey:
get in on a good deal now!
i'm developing a breed of miniture weasel that can live inside of a
"one month size bottle of lorcet 10. this ultra vicious little
beast will fly out of the bottle when it is opened and shred the nose of the unsuspecting addict hoping to hitch a free ride to god's green pastures. i'm having trouble with the little ****** though, he won't let me to the bottle of lorset either. in fact i have very little skin left on my nose. i tell ya' all more about
it, but i'm off to the doctor. see i'm getting me some pain pills
for this awful condition on my nose. this could last a long, long
time........
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[skipper]

AlexisInTx:
welcome to the forum, always room for one more junky here. your
question is an age old one. it's just part of a bigger question, is
there life after drugs. there is, at least i believe there is.

if an addict wants freedom, than the addict must give up control
(which in a sense is a partial loss of freedom). want to do some-
thing about lethergy? well do something then. get back to the gym!
stop waiting to feel beter and start acting like you do. see it's
real SIMPLE. to bad it isn't easy. what ya gonna do, wait on the
person/place/thing to make it all better? you would be beter off
going back to the poision of your choice. things don't change for
me unless i put effort into them...sooner or later i got sick of
waiting for them too. it's a *****, but what other options do you have.

keep an angel on your shoulder

[AlexisInTx]

Hello all.  I was wondering how long does recovery take?  I realize that the physical symptoms of withdrawal will vary depending upon how long, how much and what was taken (I was taking 9 Norco daily for 11 months), but I'm still experiencing *extreme* fatigue, depression and mental cravings.  My last dose was May 25, 2002 (about 1.5 months ago) and I thought that this would be over in 1-2 weeks!

I also have to mention that I was prescribed Xanax (just 1 pill at bedtime for insomnia) for 3 months and went through sheer and utter hell for 3-4 months after going cold turkey (didn't know how dangerous this could be at the time, and by the time I did know, I was out of the woods danger-wise).  

I would hate to think that these protracted symptoms from hydro that I'm experiencing will go on for many more months - I used to work out 6x a week, eat very healthy and do all that needed to be done (at work, around the house, with the kids), now it seems as if I don't have any energy to do anything.

Any advice would be appreciated if you can relate....

[Waking up]

I'm so sorry if my comment in retrospect i realize that the post did'nt come out exactly the way i wanted it too, but believe it or not but some people do not realize that taking other peoples perscription is a crime, like me about 2 years ago i woked in a popular hotel as a manager, in the morning it was my job before the maids came in to clean for the day i had to chck all the rooms that were labeled as check-out rooms. On more than one occasion not only the people not in the rooms but they left their scripts behind, i'm ashamed to say i knew it was wrong, but i did not know it was illegeal, pretty stupid right? So i guess what i'm trying to say is please know that i did not try to make you feel like you shouldn't feel that you can yourself here not because of something stupid that i said. I have'nt even got the nerve to tell my story yet.

[tex3]

Alexandra, I applaud your honesty even while I'm ashamed to admit I've done the same thing. Hell, sometimes I still peak inside cabinets, hating myself all the while. I block that out of my mind, or the guilt overwhelms me. I guess I need to deal with it, and I will, but not yet. I'm staying clean and that's what I'm focusing on right now, although I realize I need to face my past behavior. Just know you aren't alone, I bet a poll would show many of us have done this exact thing.

GWH, how's the leg? That was always my very worst WD symptom, along with the deep muscle spasms and bone pain. Zanaflex completely took it away, but also knocked me out. However, I'd much rather be asleep than bouncing all over the room. And by the way, congratulations! You're doing great, don't slip now, or let the episode with the pill take you down. The more distance you get between you and the drugs, the better, and then you can work on the mental stuff. Stay strong, my friend.

Jenny, good to see you posting, hang in there, I've been having a pity party today too, but reading all the posts here reminds me that I'm not alone in this struggle.

Ash, I'm glad you're posting again and hope you're feeling okay. Remember how much better you'll feel a week from today. That helped me get through those early days.

Tessa, your story is very close to mine. If you ever want to talk, let me know.

And Skipper, captain of this vessel, always great to see your knowlege and wisdom! It's good knowing something good came of all those years, huh? Seriously, I hope your pain is not too bad. How are you doing these days?

[GOD]

I can answer what "B & E" on a drug store is:

You actually LIVE there... you are Bathing and Eating there....


LOL

B&E is Breaking and Entering....

Have a nice night!
Jess

[scared in so cal]

I've seen you talk about doing a B&E on a drugstore. I don't understand what that is. Can you fill me in? Just curious.

[skipper]

hey everone:
i want to start out by welcoming all the new posters. there will
always be room for just one more addict here, so come on in. i find
it real difficult somedays to NOT be judgemental. i don't like it
when i am judgemental. the reasion for this (and i'm speaking of
myself only) is when i am judgemental i am telling myself a lie.
i've been posting here for about a year and several times i've kind of told the story of my addiction. i went the street heroin and methadrine route for a while. all i can say is i hated most of the drug-dealers and their hanger-ons. i was so turned off by the typical drug dealer mentality that i took to ripping off drug stores and clinics. i went for over a decade working my way up and down the upper mississippi doing B&E of small town drug stores. everything was going fine until i started to believe i would never get caught....then i got caught. but that isn't what i want to talk about. what i want to talk about is the price i've wound up paying. the price i still pay. i'm not talking about some convict paying their debt to society either...i'm talking about the memory of all the fun i thought i was having...imagine, all the easily injectable stuff- dilaudid,MS,neumorphan... sometimes so much i felt like a fish swimming in the happy waters
of good life. to this day this memory haunts me...hell it dam
near drives me crazy some days...

but the real kicker is, while i was shooting all that stuff i
never once gave a thought as to what i would do if i ever really
needed that ****...and guess what today i do. sort of have too
much fun now and pay later (really pay!).

today, it's a real fine line between exasperated concern and be-
ing judgemental...how can i judge someone else's addiction with-
out judging myself also?

nope...today i love and respect myself too much to want to go to
the fallowed fields of my past...and believe me if i judge some-
one else i go there...

one parting thought for all of you...i'm going to love and care
for all of you and there just isn't one damm thing any of you can
do about that!!

jenny:
i'll try to return your e-mail tomarrow...i've been real busy at
work (where i e-mail from).

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Tessa]

Why did you start on opiates?  Was it recreational or do you have pain issues?  I have endometriosis, that started me on my LONG path of abuse...I am fortunate to have my babygirl (she will be one year old this month!) at the ripe old age of 30!!  Just kidding, it could be worse! But, it took awhile to get pregnant becuz of the endo...had to go thru infertility BS! That sucked! Anyway, she means the world to me and hopefully her mom will clean up her act soon!

[jennyfla]

Hi Tessa,
Thank you for having an interest in my pitiful life.
I used to be a heavy poster a while back, last year i posted a lot.
My story basically is the same as most of the others.
I'm an opiate addict, unwilling to change my ways and clean up my act.  My husband is also an opiate addict which makes the equation that much more complicated.
I'm a mom of three children all under the age of 10, and i love them with all my heart and hope to be here to care for them and watch them grow up.
I'm affraid that my addiction is getting away from me and i am killing myself at a rapid rate.  
I've crossed so many lines and done things that i never thought i was capable of.  
I just need to find the strength to do what i need to do for me, so i visit this forum and read the stories and try to gather strength.
Best of luck to you!
Lv Jenny

[1fortheroad]

hi - i just wanted to tell you that i have stolen many pills in my life - even when i was 14 or 15 i was stealing my dad's valium.  throughout the years, if i ever came across percs or vics at someone's house, i would take a few.  i didn't have a problem with them at that point, but i loved to use them recreationally.  over the past couple years, since i've developed this addiction, i have taken from people and i carry a lot of guilt about it.  i have had many desperate moments in the two years - i'm so glad to be away from all that.  

i wish you luck with the tapering...i think most addicts don't have the discipline to do it - they cheat.  i've tried it many times and have always failed.  if you find yourself cheating, maybe you could have someone hold them for you and dole them out as needed.  it would have to be someone strong who wouldn't buckle if you started getting mean.  i had my husband try to do that once, and if i wanted more than i was supposed to have i would get so nasty with him...finally, i gave up on the idea...saved my marriage probably.  anyhow, i tried a different route using buprenex, and that has worked well for me.  

good luck, and don't stress about the past...i know, easy for me to say right?

[Tessa]

I'm great, fantastic, couldn't be better....yeah, right. That's a LIE!!! :)  (for some reason i'm feeling very sarcastic today) Like I said, it's a really bad day...Just can't seem to be able to deal with ANYTHING today!  So, what day are you on today? 11?  How the RLS?  I can't even imagine how you are able to deal with it for so long.  The longest I ever went thru it was 2 or 3 nights. And that was HELL!  Are you taking anything for it now? I know someone suggested a medicine that would help...can't for the life of me remember what it was!  Do you have a Dr that would prescribe for you?  
How are your spirits today?