Opiates ruling my life. Can't stop!

[tphelp]

Ok so here goes my story, the abridged version. I have been struggling with opiate addiction for about 4 years. 3 of those years I was clean. I recently relapsed in September and have been taking anything I can get my hands on since then. My family and husband think I'm clean again. I am in an intensive outpatient rehab. My 7 year marriage and my job as a teacher ate on the rocks. I list my 2 childhood best friends due to my relapse. Basically everyone is sick of me. My husband is giving me one more shot. If he were to find out I am using again he will leave me and try to take my son away. I coolant bear that, yet I still can't stop. Now I am only taking tramadol that was prescribed to me for back pain. I am free from all the narcotics but I want up quit the tramadol too. I have 4 refills and I know I  not strong enough to stop. What is wrong with me? I am so close to losing everything!!' will someone please tell me what to do? I have no one to talk to as I  scared to death of someone finding out cuz then my life will be over. I have put my parents and husband through so much already. They would be soooo disappointed in me if they knew the truth.  Living a lie but too scared to stop. Too scared to keep taking them too. Petrified of withdrawals. Please give me some insight. Thanks for listening everyone.

[tphelp]

Found it! I think I got it all figured out Joe! Thanks!!

[vicki595]

At the bottom of each comment on your thread right here, there is the word: "reply" printed in blue. It's at the bottom of every comment, to the right.  You're just not noticing it. I know the forum is a challenge at first, there's a lot on the page! Just go slow and keep asking questions. Also, stick with one thread so we can keep up with you!

[tphelp]

Thanks for your comment. Am I responding correctly? I have no idea how to do this. I see no reply button as people have said I should.

[soready4]

dear tphelp....the confusion of why these drugs have such a hold on us is mind blower for me too.  It is best not to try to answer that question.  I have asked it for years.
can you expect good will come from your efforts rather than just skidding by and not losing everything.  
i'm not ready to use myself as an example....i'm not ready for much of anything but i find responding to other folks delimnas helps me to rethink everything.

[tphelp]

Thanks for writing me back! I do have back problems but very mild, but enough that my doc will keep giving more scripts for as long as I ask for them! I have heard that deriding from this drug is worse than any narcotic. I am so scared. I detoxed 3 years ago from a year long 10 a day vicodin habit and it took an excruciating 3 months until I felt normal again. This time around though I have been on seroquel, lexapro , and lamictal for my recently diagnosed bipolar. So I'm hoping that being on them will be my saving grace. What do u think? I am going to pray for the will power to taper. I have no choice or I might as well flush my life down the toilet.!!

[tphelp]

I am going to try to take only 5 for the next few days, then 4, and so on until I am free. I have to keep remembering what I have to lose, my beautiful 5 year old baby boy, and use that as motivation. Why does addiction trump everything?? I have only been taking the tramadol for 3 weeks, so I am hoping I will come out of this ok. How in the he'll can doctors look you straight in the eye and say this stuff is not addictive?? It gives me a better high than meth!! And it is very addictive!!!

[tphelp]

I have been taking the tramadol for 3 weeks. About 8 per day. Please help. I think I am going to taper starting tomorrow. I cam do this!!!

[ricart70]

tramadol from what I hear has half the high with triple the withdrawal so watch out because four scripts from now you may find out

[GA_need_help]

I am glad you are here.  Do you have pain that indicates taking something like Tramadol?  You speak of your horrible past with addiction, and how much you have to lose.  And refer to Tramadol as something you know you shouldn't be taking.  I would just post on here and read the posts, and keep going to your AA or NA meetings.  I do some meetings by phone too, so if you need some resources, I can get you plugged in.  Then, I would pray for willingness.  You really don't want the terrible consequences that could happen from using.  I pray for you because I know you can't really grasp what could happen.
I want the best for you.
Marie

[bama88]

and tramedol is an opiate

[bama88]

glad you are with us...im proud you admitted your problem. you have too much to loose it sounds like. and are so scared and alone. well your not alone. this is a world wide epidemic. if that helps you any...how long have you been taking tramidol?

[sandstone27]

Hi and Welcome!

What type of habit do you have?  How many are you taking daily? We can help you through this but the first thing anyone is going to tell you here is to cancel those refills!
I'm kind of surprised a doctor would give you 4.  

Post back, we're here to help you...

Sandy