Opioid Addiction - Need advice

[OpedOut]

Hoping to get any insight and advice I could from the people on this sight who have experience with long term opioid addiction.  I've been hooked since about 05'.  I never got hurt, or had surgery, I just started taking Vicodin recreationally and loved it.  Back when I started I could take three two work with me and be high all day.  Typical progression, I was taking 3 or 4 at a time six months later just to get high, then taking 3 or 4 at a time just to get up in the morning.  Quickly graduated to 7.5's and then Percs, and then eventually to the really bad uncut stuff, Oxycontin and Oxy IR.  During this whole process I've lied to my pcp to get meds, have had cortizone injections I didn't need just to continue getting meds, had a discogram just to get meds, and eventually decided I had to call it quits when I actually scheduled surgery just to continue to gets meds only to not show up for the surgery.  I feel like a complete *******, not only for wasting the doctors time, but for conning him into giving me meds for a year only to blow him off when it came time for surgery.  In hindsight, I don't think he really cared, just wanted his money, and would give me 120 10MG uncut Percocet every month no questions asked , no visit req'd etc...I could call his office and ask for a refill a week early and get it, etc...Not blaming him...just saying.  Anyways, today is my first day without using and I'm just hoping to get insight into what to expect, duration, remedies to help?  I've gone through withdrawal, but not for quite some time.

-Thanks

[Ann2497]

I also am bored without taking the pills.  In fact, I used to take more pills on the weekend because I was more bored then.  I have found reading and posting on this board has been good for my boredom.  Also been watching the trial of Michael Jackson's attorney.  The trial is almost over.  Don't know what I am going to do then.

[Innerstrength67]

I think it's very common to feel bored after we get clean. Getting and using took up so much of my days and mental thoughts. But over time you get used to being clean and start to get busy with life.
It's so hard to imagine that we ever lived that way but when your in the throws of addiction, there really is no thought involved, just the getting and using.
You will feel better. Just takes time and addicts are usually pretty impatient.
I am proud of you!!!

[littlebit667]

Keep on it!  The 3rd day was the hardest for me!  It gets better after 3rd week!
You have a goal!  It was then that I saw how foggy my brain was before.

[OpedOut]

Feeling better each day ann thanks, long ways to go...

ricart, i hear that, each day after day 3 seems a tiny bit more hopeful

littlebit....the thing about friends drifting away is very true one of the worst parts...damaged so many good relationships directly and indirectly from my addiction

domino....if im reading right your almost 10 years clean?  wow...quite an accomplishment...i know alcohol and opioids are two completely different animals....but if you dont mind my asking....when did you get to the point when it wasn't the first thing you'd think of when you woke up...6 months....a year...ever?

thanks

[Ann2497]

How are you feeling?

[ricart70]

Glad you're hanging in there oped.Just keep going and little by little you will start functioning better and feeling better.

[littlebit667]

I did not realize how boring I had become and how bored with life I was until I got clean.  Friends would drift away, cause I had nothing good or fun or useful to say.  The pills became my only friend.  

[dominosarah]

Those pills gave us all a false sense of security.  You will see just how out of control your life was the longer you go now.  This is a slow process so be patient.  Getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard one.  Have you thought about any type of aftercare?  It helps a ton......sara

[OpedOut]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and links.  I'm on day 5 and feeling better physically, but can tell I'm in for a LONG uphill battle mentally.  Life seems so ridiculously boring without these things it's unimaginable.  Time is my worst enemy right now, seems to be standing still.  You have all really helped, makes me feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I guess patience is key right now.

[snakejones]

Hi there! I have a question--do you have any pain pills left in your home?

[Innerstrength67]

Your story is so similar to mine. I can't tell you how many MRI's I had scheduled. I would act freaked out about the injections. It's amazing how many pills I took over the course of 2 years withour one MRI. but then again I was going to new drs all the time.
Hang in there. I never thought I could do it and have 38 days.

[ricart70]

I was clean for 2.5 years and you will be surprised how close to perfect you will be at 9 months.The ability to deal with things without letting them eat away at you is like night and day compared to the first few months.

[littlebit667]

Glad you have decided to get clean.  It is a battle, but one worth fighting.  The reason I quit was I was tired of being tired and found my brain was not working.  I was boring myself being so foggy.  I wanted to be my old self again...and would never know until I was clean and functioning again.  

These are 3 pages that helped me a lot!

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Amino-Acid-Protocol/show/15?cid=66

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Fighting-relapseDopamine-and-addiction/show/309?cid=66

The last one helped me understand how long it will take to get my brain totally back.  Yes, there are glimpses of the real me now, and I feel it getting better every day.  I look forward to seeing me in 6-9 months.  I look forward to that day.  Will I be perfect?  No, but then I was not perfect anyway.   Will I be happy, YES!  Happy to be free and clean.  

[ricart70]

Hi,Are you feeling any bad effects now?If not I would go to the store and get 2 or 3 bottles of immodium and lots of juice and gatorade and easy things to eat and drink.The major sickness will be over in 3to4 days.Then your body will be drained but your mind will be in overdrive.Alot of people on here swear by alteril for sleep.I hope that this helps.It can be done but will suk.Do you have to work during this?