With such a low dose paws prolly won't be an issue. ONCE you get all the opiates outta your system and start to get your body and mind clean, the other stuff follows. The energy, clear thinking, living your life will come. We it used to having a pill to bring these things to us. We have to learn those things are not in a pill bottle. Life is hard, life is good, life is scary. But we have to just live it and without drugs if we are to truly enjoy it. It's a little bit of a recovery to re learn to live life on life's terms. But truly it's only the honeymoon phase
When we think the drugs make us better. They ruin us in the long run. Switching over to subs or meth from low dose opiates is like jumping from the frying pan and into the fire. Try to get off them. Do some aftercare, work
On yourself and the rest will come.
I know what it feels like. I didn't like myself for a long time. I never thought I would like being sober bit now I do. It took a long time but it gets better every day.
If you are on a low dose of opiates try to stay away from the subtitles and METHADONE. I would hate to see you trade one thing for another
Go see your doctor for the anxiety. Be totally upfront and honest. You will find that most doctors will help and be your greatest advocate. Their are plenty of prescriptions to help with anxiety.
Shortly after my second child was born, I needed help for awhile. My anxiety was sky high and I was 33. The doctor prescribed something to help me. And it did. It helped me be a better mother.
Your children need you so be the best mom you can be. I wish you the best of luck and may God bless you.
Thanks for the quick response. I don't really know that I can live without something though.
I started taking pills when my husband was diagnosed with a chronic illness. I probably should have just left because I knew I couldn't deal with it and he deserved better. But the pills helped me stand by him. Now we have two kids so there is no way out. Even tapering down to a lower dose than usual, I have panic attacks all the time. It isn't healthy for my small kids, when I get upset and literally CAN NOT calm myself down.
I don't know if it's genetic or something else. My family seems to have anxiety but not the way I do. I had a great childhood. Ever since I was a kid I've been wishing my brain could just be normal. Pills gave me that for a few years. I honestly don't want to just cope when I was thriving for awhile.
I have no problem staying on low doses - very low, less than 50mg/day of oxycodone AT MOST - but I can't think about anything else when I have to obsess over how to get them and stay well. (Again, detox is not the problem. I've gotten through that and just feel empty. I used to get rid of that feeling with new romances and experiences. I am married with little kids now. There are no thrills and contentment is not something I ever really had without meds.)
Thanks for responding so fast. :)
I got put on Zoloft but it just made me physically feel like crap and have no energy. I don't really have the desire to be on a longterm anxiety med again, spending months trying different ones and tapering off - That detox ***** too - until I find the one that ***** the least. Even when I was coming in to talk to someone, the most they would give me would be 5 Ativan for a month. And that makes me calm but too tired to want to do anything.
It seems like everyone gets addicted and then finally recovers and goes back to their old self. Even my own mother did that. The problem is, my old self isn't compatible with my life. I don't have it in me to do the family life without getting depressed or anxious. Not to mention real pain issues which everyone from my doctor to my husband think are in my head.
I have to say, after reading your post, you are totally just looking for something to not feel....which is what most addicts do. Your switching from one drug to another to feel differently and your going to realize once the drug wears off your stilk left with you. The subs are a ***** to come off of as well as methadone, so i wouldnt recommend either! Maybe finding an antidepressant that works for you, however, i would think if the antidepressant is making u tired, then maybe its not depression your battling?
Your story reads...."am looking for something to not feel like me".... does that seem right to you? Maybe its time to look around you and see whats keeping you from wanting to be YOU???
I suggest Cognative Behavioral Therapy and addiction counseling. Addicts call what you have , " Stinkin' Thinkin.' You say it's not that you can't get and stay off drugs, but you don't want to, not if it means being the real you. Instead of trying to change your mood and nothing else, maybe changing the way you think will help you see a better way. CBT helps me a lot on what you are talking about. You may not have a strong physical dependance, but you are sharing very strong addict thinking. Change your thinking and your mood will change. If you chemically change your mood, your mood will get worse and worse. Eventually the consequences will get bad enough that it won't be worth it anymore. It doesn't sound like you are actually ready to be sober , you still glorify the benefits, give it time and you will die, go to jail or insane, or you may quit and find new ways of thinking before that. Are you willing to try counseling, not psychiatrists and doctors who offer drugs, but a therapist who offers coping skills?