Hey, I am interested in seeing how things go for you. I moved 35 miles away in July and that was the first thing I realized, cut off your connects and surroundings and people/things that enable you and it makes it 10 times easier.
Keep me posted?
Good luck to you! I'll be checking in to follow your progress; you can do it!
Hey buddy.. Good luck and God Speed to you on your journey... It will be tough but I KNOW you can do it... Sedona is a Magical place... lots of good energy there.. plus it is SOOOO beautitful there.. and the AIR is clear... so remember to BREATH...
Much love and LOTS of PRAYERS your way!
Thanks for your well wishes. And as far as keeping anyone posted, this is where it's all gonna go down. Which makes me realize another thing I despise about being hooked on these damn things: I used to love to write. Actually, I still do. But I find myself more and more looking at it as more of a chore, likle so many other things in my life I used to enjoy; video games, reading, sex. That a little pill can take away any enjoyment and interests that you've always had is acinine. That I continued to take them upon this realization is even more so. And what is a life without the enjoyment of prticipating in the things that you're interested in? For that matter, what is life without sex? No life at all, I say.
That's why this has to work, I'm tired of not living. I'm tired of feeling so disattached from my life, like I'm just observing it and not taking part in it. And not enjoying it.
I'm tired of not sleeping unless I take a pill before I go to bed. I'm tired of not being able to wake up without one. I'm tired of my day revolving around my next dose. I'm tired of relying on medication to function. Without it, I'm in a lot of pain. But nothing can hurt worse than the mental anguish I endure on a day to day basis.
I could go on and on but I have a felling that most of you, and most definitely any one of you bothering to read this post, already know exactly where I'm coming from.
Soooooo..... I've been working alot to make up for the days I'm going to miss and haven't had a chance to check in. I'll be leaving on Sunday or Monday and will have all the time in the world to write here about what I'm going through, how I am feeling.
My biggest fear is that I will lack the motivation to even open my laptop to record my progress. There has been several occasions during my half-hearted attempts to quit that I've been literally unable to force myself to communicate with anyone in every sense of the word. Even after promising myself that I would this time. My goal is to be able to look back on this post and read about the horrors I experienced as a reminder that I never want to go through them again. Even with that motivation, I've found myself laying around for 22 hours a day with my laptop right next to me, still unable to motivate myself to use it.
But no tthis time. This time I'm doing it right. And maybe someone else that is trying to quit will stumble upon this and it will help motivate them, or at least reassure them that they're not alone. And if all goes well, that it's not impossible, as much as it seems so.
So I will definitely update, as often as possible. I read a book a few months ago during the peak of my desperation about depression. This was a drug free guide to overcoming depression which mostly focused on changing your daily routine, to basically go about living your life in a whole new way. For example,: in my case, I shower after work so I can get that extra half hour of sleep. Now, I'm gonna try showering at right when I wake up. Also, I am that guy who rarely answers his phone, usually only doing so if I absolutely have to, or if something is really important. And then, only if I am medicated. Anyone who's ever been as bad off as I have become absolutely 100% know what I'm talking about. Be suspicious of anyone letting their voice mail fill up and not checking and erasing their messages. Either they owe someone money or sometimes even more realistically, they just don't want to deal with it. 'It' being any and everything. I'm now going to answer any and every phone call. Regardless of how trivial the matter, or how repugnant the person calling, I will answer each and every phone call.
That truly sounds excruciating right now.
Other things include changing your diet, eating at different times. Exercising more, Common things that I feel like normal people do anyway and are very important. That I stopped caring about a long time ago.
Thanks again for the kind words and again, if I pull this off, believe me, anyone can. As far as addiction goes, without going into detail, I'm about as bad as it gets.
Feel free to drop me a line, you will me my family, my friends, my enemies, possibly my supporters, the reason to go on, the reason to give up and most definitely the reason to keep writing.
I'll be packing all my stuff on Sunday, my first day off and first opportunity to do so. I've got a small checklist that I'll post after I get done. Any additional recommendations: more than welcome.
I have friends who have been to sedona and have loved their it is a mystical plac to be and I think the perfoect spot for your time of recovery and rediscovery!!! Enjoy the scenery, take some beautiful walks, when you can!! I know there are people out there whowill help you heal your soul and body. Good Luck I look forward to reading your experience. You write well, maybe we'll se your experiences in print one day and you can be the rock that helps others.
This is a great place to be right now..lots of support
ur decision to remove urself from temptation right now is a strong one...In the end u will probably have to ex-communicate from anyone assiated with drugsincluding letting ur DR know as well///no nitty gritty details..just a simple statement I want no more narcotics
No drug can do this for u...sub nor methadone..they can ease wds..but neither will keep u clean long term unless u do the work on urself u need to do..and this u probably have already figured out
Sedonia is a beautiful place! I am flying there to stay with a friend from pheonix in february..perhaps find some meetings there..if u have not tried any aftercare then perhpas it could add to ur fantastic plan
keep us posted//pm of u would like