Oxycotin relapse (sort of)...again

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

OK I am going to be honest....I filled my script and did them. I didn't want to tell anyone that because I know how most of you are going to react. I have been out for a couple of days and I am not going through much of a detox. I am however so sad at what I am doing to myself. I hope you guys don't give up on me because you think I will just fill my next script when it is due. In my heart I know this is killing me. I just don't know what to do anymore. The only time that I am happy is when I chew a couple of oxy's. If I am not high then I am not interested in anything. I don't understand why this is happening. Will I ever be able to lead a productive life without pills? It is not fair to both my girlfriend (who used also)and I to keep doing this to ourselves. I mean we went through 50 pills in 7 days. Then the same thing happens....where do we get more, how much should we spend. I am so damm sick of the cycle. How do you break it? I am tired of counting the days till my next refill. I hope someone has some words of encouragement as we are at our witts end. I feel like such a jerk for comming to you guys for help. After all I knew in the back of my mind that I was going to fill that last script. I hope you all will realize that I trully want to quit for good. I am tired of waking up in the middle of the night feeling so empty. PLEASE HELP!!!

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Hey, I read your post about donating money to save this site.  I haven't gotten a letter yet.  Anyway, I would gladly send a donation.  All of the people who use this forum should consider doing something to help save this site. Good things have a way of disappearing when we neglect them, right?

Hope you will finally get some much needed rest, Marcie.  It's not easy to live life on "auto-pilot" especially when flying through the mountains, he,he!  Pleasant dreams!

[From Aunt Lindy to Mariah]

You know that I am ready to give both of you a group hug!  Mine would be from far away though.  I am in Florida!!!! You both sound like such nice people.  Have a great weekend. And Vicky V. (no anger management class for you HAHA).

Take Care,
Marcie.

P.S. Vicky please dont get mad at me for this but when I read the part about them taking away your #$%^#@( TOKEN I grabbed my stomach laughing.  I mean here you are with such good intentions at this meeting and some fool snatches away something that was hard earned.  Vicky, I would have hired a lawyer on that one.  I mean were you waiting for Alan Funt to come out and tell you that you were on CANDID CAMERA?  I mean did your mouth drop to the floor? How insane.  And J.B. What food for thought on your reply about the Bronze Star that would have been some Food For Thought for those fools who did that to you Vicky!  

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

And a big Thank You as well!  Sometimes we forget that it's nice to be nice.  Now what I mean?  I just had a beautiful day here in warm and sunny downtown Indiana, brrrrrr!  Your post made my day!  Take care and be good.  J.B.

[Vicky V to J.B.]

You have touched my heart!  Thanks for the beautiful reply. I am proud of your Star. I understand the anonymous thing.  Just knowing there is someone like you nearby is great.  Again, thanks for being such a sweetheart.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Maybe so!  And I hope so.  If not maybe we could talk sometime.  I just don't know how because I want to remain anonymous, if you know what I mean.  Maybe someday, somehow we will find eachother and....be friends!  Easy does it, my friend, and go with God.

P.S. I would have never taken your token away, you earned it the hard way like most of us.  Would they take my Bronze Star away if they found out I was really a coward?  Just scared like the rest and best of us!

[VickyVortex to J.B.]

We probably know eachother.