Oxys, Percs, Klonopin and Sex??

[HollyCat416]

I've watched my husband go from swallowing 4-6 percocets every 4 hours, to now chewing 8 every couple of hours.  He also takes an Oxy 40 about four times a day and then Clonazepam or Ativan at night to sleep.  When he has important meetings to attend, he will take Ritalin to stay awake and alert.  Our sex life is almost non existent.
Is he going to keep on increasing his dosage?  Will Viagra help with arousal?  What should I expect and in what kind of time frame?  This addiction began 3 years ago, but the dose increase has just skyrocketed in the last 6 months.  I cannot express concern without the angry, defensive, denial response.  

[HollyCat416]

thanks for the info on your personal experience...I'm at the point where I'm not caring much anymore about the sex...just worried about his health...his kids love him and i want him to be around to watch them grow...i know i have no control over his decisions

[worried878]

Drugsa can totally dinish ur sex drive//even for a female..narcotics do not actually work directly on pain/they only interrupt the pain signalls going to the brain...but at high doses, eventually all tactile, sensual feelings are blocked. there is no feeling/or feelings after a while...the main pleasure becomes taking the pills..it is a sad and never ending demise unless the person wants to stop...but they gotta want to

i remeber about 3 weeks after I quit my sex drive came back to life...unfortunately i wasnt seeing anyone//probably cos I had isolated to sit home and take pills

not sure if viagra would help...this is sumpin i would discuss with his dr who rx-s ur hubby these pills????would seem strange that any dr would prescribe this amount/that u desribed...and the cost on the street is astonomical for a habit like u described..not sure at this high of a dose of narcs that viagra would even be safe...a dr is who can answer this for u...and ur hubby needs to realize what he is doing..I wish u the best of luck...but addiction doesnt get better/only worse

[abby10]

Ask him if he's prepared for a liver transplant?

abby

[HollyCat416]

Holy...this is scary.  I have done the research over and over again on each pill he takes, and truly have no idea how he can still function as well as he does.  I totally realize that I'm the enabler by not putting my foot down and demanding that he address this...every so often, I'll mention something about it, he'll jump down my throat after denying he has a problem, then I just shut my mouth until the next time I have the guts to say something again.  It's a losing battle for me because he has all the answers.  His business is not suffering...he manages to put up a great act for the kids.  

At this time, I guess I will just wait until he expresses that he wants to stop, and like you all say...he has to hit that bottom first.  Even though the addiction has gone crazy in amounts and different types of pills...I don't think he's anywhere near bottom, or admitting he's got a problem.

[abby10]

No body is addressing his benzo use. He's replaced his alcohol with the benzos. Trying to come off the benzos is a total insane hell in itself. The Ativan has a short half life and he is no doubt having interdoes withdrawals. They work on the same brain repectors as the alcohol and he has a duel addiction.

Having the benzo interdose wds is only going to make him self medicate on the opiates even more. DO NOT expect a rehab to help you do a slow proper taper from benzos. It takes too long. Do not take an anit-sezure med with a quick taper from benzos. Taper off VERY slowly with a "cross over" to a long acting benzo like klono or valium. NEVER ct a benzo.

See site benzo.org.uk (Ashton manual).

abby

[Inaka]

You seem so understanding. God when he decides to quit he will have a lovely caretaker. But seriously YOU KNOW this is only going to get worse. The amounts will increase, he might start substituting for worse substances. You have to stop him, and he will thrash and act non chalant, and say things that will shut you up unable to defend yourself. And you will feel like your nagging, and not being understanding, but YOU ARE RIGHT. He is def wrong. He has kids he needs to see grow older and wiser. Those pills kill the lining of your stomach not to mention destroy memory and marriages. I lived with an alcoholic and then a heroin user for a year and when I ended up joining him instead of fighting him. I regret that move. I wish I stood my ground firmly then...why is he numbing himself? Thats what those pills do. And how is he getting prescription?

[keekee57]

hi shash, I just wanted to say that its time now to confront him of this major life and death issue. I was married for 29 years, and my addiction spiraled out of control as to that of your hubbie. YOU must confront him, build your boundaries, because I think he feels he has control of this matter and that you would never build any type of a defense mechanism. He is going to ruin his liver with all of the ibuprofen thats in percs, and in a heart beat, if not he will collapse of a heart attack. I developed a hepatitis C virus because of snorting off of someones contaminated straw, or dollar bill. Reality it being clean, either build up boundaries or go to alanon. good luck,,,, keekee

[HollyCat416]

thanks...yes i've been to al anon meetings in the past...and it is certainly comforting to know that i'm definitely not alone.

[newway]

Addiction is a very selfish this - we addicts will do just about anything to meet our needs.
Have you ever been to al anon - really helpful for families, spouses etc of those with addiction problems.  Everyone there is going through the same thing you are.
You need to take care of you - so you can stay strong.

[HollyCat416]

thanks for the info and support...very useful and much appreciated

[Ella789]

He really should have a liver enzyme test done to check out his liver.    The liver can take alot of abuse but eventually it will start to effect it.  It can also heal itself if it is caught in time.   He does need to be careful with that aspect.   I took norcos for 5 yrs but not anything like the dosage he is taking.  My liver is fine, never was harmed but like I said ,  I was not useing more than 40-50mgs a day.     If he does develope severe pain in his sides, then I would insist he go get checked by a Dr. or ER.  
Best wishes
E

[HollyCat416]

How much longer can his liver tolerate this abuse?  I can deal with the lack of sex, and the verbal abuse and or neglect, and the mood swings and the overall unpredictability of living with him.  I can also continue to cover for him as far as the kids are concerned because they are still young.  I just don't know if I can handle it if he overdoses.  He is not suicidal by any means...he just keeps upping the amounts he takes, and telling himself and me that he's a big guy and his body can absorb it just fine.  

[Ella789]

There is no end to the excuses an addict will use to keep using.  He will have to want to quit for hisself first,  wife and children second,  but he will have to want this more than he wants a pill.   Addiction seems to effect the whole family,  it does not end until the user decides he/she has had enough.  Detox is the easy part, staying clean is harder but it is doable and worth it.   Seems like a person had to reach a point in their life when they realize that they must change or lose everything that is dear to them.   I hope this is not the case with him,  perhaps he will consider trying sub or something, and therapy.  It is hard to quit, the cravings are heck for awhile,  mentally draining.   I think your husband should try to make you happy/satisfied as possible, even if he has no sex drive, he can still help you out in other ways.  
Just my opinions,  but for me opiates did dull my sex drive too but I never refused my husband, I do try to please him when he needs it......  I know...tmi
Ella  

[googzy]

Opiate use definately reduces your sex drive and ability to have erections. He might be ashamed that's why he avoids sex. People have to hit rock bottom usually, and have to lose something or be in danger of losing something. Remember though he's addicted mentally and physically so it's not easy shoes to be in. I don't know what advice to give someone that doesn't want to quit... Other than eventually they'll lose everything they care about because his use is going up. I'm quite sure he's scared of quitting too... It's easier to stay addicted than to stop... Until you hit a wall and facing the withdrawal is better than avoiding it. You sound like your very patient and he's lucky to have you. I hope he could read this post as it would probably knock some sense into him. If it's affecting you, sorry, that's his rock bottom... He just hasn't realized it yet.

[HollyCat416]

If I insist...he will give in to my demands, but reluctantly...then my interest gets lost.  Who wants to feel like they're forcing their partners to be intimate?  I know it's not me, but I can't help but feel like I'm not doing it for him.  As far as the finances go...he will never admit to how much he spends on the pills, ( as if I can't do the math ).  The minute I even mention it, the battle begins.  I've learned to just shut my mouth on the matter.  Giving him an ultimatum worsens the matter...he's just not the guy to threaten or back into a corner.  More important than my lack of sex life...I'm so worried that he just won't wake up one day.  The drastic increase in dosage is seriously scary, not to mention the mixture with everything else he takes.

[googzy]

****! a woman needs some lovin!!! Sometimes I wasn't aroused but hell, foreplay all day then. Hahaha!!! Be has to recognize he wants to quit, you can maybe set an ultimatum for him or show that it's affecting you, that you won't stand for his bhaviour... Most guys shape up when the lady starts cracking the whip! That can lead to fighting though, Ive been there... Can you play the financial card? is this setting you/him back financially?

[HollyCat416]

I don't think he wants to quit...he will say, "ya know, I could cut back if I wanted to", but then pop a small handful in his mouth right after that sentence.  He is an addict through and through, and we tackled his alcoholism together, but unfortunately he's replaced the alcohol with pills.  He never blames me for his addiction...but it's always stress, or work and that he has WAY more on his plate than most guys.  When I ask if we can make love, he gets angry and accuses me of having a one track mind.  I'm so willing to stand by him and help any way I can, but he hasn't even acknowledged that he has a problem, or that it's gotten as bad as it has.

[googzy]

My sex drive many times was non existant when on opiates!!! His crankiness is drug induced, just dont snap back and talk calm and... Addicts will usually deny and blame... Especially if your not going what he's gone through, he might feel you won't understand. You need to set an ultimatum and work with him to set a reasonable goal to taper or cold turkey, does he want to quit. That's he million dolllar question.