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This was hard. I first want to say im sorry Kim. I have made a plan for the first time to get off and stay of heroin and all other drugs. Iv thought about this all day . I dont want to go on a methadone program as i feel it wont help or benifit me .I have not ruled out rehab, but would prefer to just go cold turkey. I know my time is running out and need to get this done . I also realise i cant be near heroin or any other drugs as i will relapse for sure I get a vallium refill tommorow that should help me with sleeping ect . I know that i have said this before im quiting drugs but i mean it this time or i will pay with my life . Not acceptible i need to do this for me and my children .  Im also going to attend aa and na as well as my counsilor to keep me away from the drug scene I know i can do this i had 200 plus clean time and life was so much better .Failure is not an option being clean is my goal . I want to be able to say how great life is and how happy i am again. I will keep you guys updated ,,,,,,,,James
46 Responses
199177 tn?1490502134
James YOU NEED REHAB no ifs ands or butts you have tried over and over to do this on your own but you cant .Nothing changes if nothing changes ...Time for rehab ...say you are going to try to do it again on your own is just putting off your recovery more and more .Time to step up to the plate James .Safe you life get into rehab .
711224 tn?1344775287
James I can feel the change of tone in your "voice" and realize thru your words that this time you might be really serious about it.
Let me tell you something and you know how much I care for you and sure don't wanna sound mean. Last time, I thought it was your last chance. I thought that if you'd relapse you'd kill yourself. Fortunately for you Mother Nature gave you so much physical strength, that's why you survived all those years of drug abuse. But don't push your luck James, you might be not as lucky next time. Now you have to build up the mental strength that you have too but that have disappeared because of all those years. Build up your self esteem, you will power and start to love yourself. Things happened in your life, but things happened to most of us, start to be a survivor and then a fighter instead of a victim. Turn things around. You have it all in you.
Addiction is a disease and you'll have to fight it all your life, that's why you have to change drastically way of life. You have to realize deep inside of you that there's no way you can be around drugs anymore, Choose to live James.
I'm all the way behind you but I'm sick to my stomach for Kim, sorry I had to say it...
Do it James. sophie.
Avatar universal
Hey James i realize the position you are in if you go to rehab and I realize the position it will put kim in.. I know it is not a real viable solution for you where both of your lives are at.. I realize the hardships it will add.. I agree with avisg on this level but not all know the whole story here.. and nor do you need to tell it.. but I agree with your sentiments all the way.. I add my strengths to yours.. we walk as one we will always walk as one.. letakos
Avatar universal
James, you have been an inspiration to me..If you can tell all your friends and dealers to not sell it you whatsoever..Stay near Kim and your children for support. 200 days is fablous, but now you must start again..There are many people here rooting for you. and are also here to help  Hang in there Buddy!

495284 tn?1333897642
actions speak louder than words James..........sara
Avatar universal
I am worried about you bro, your not gonna last until something changes. You need this help and you can be happy again, but you have not done nothing about it since your last relapse. Please buddy, get the help you need now. We are here for you, but we are not enough. You deserve to be happy. Kim is doing so well and it's time to step up to the plate. I am not being mean, you know for a fact i care about you, but watching you kill yourself is hard. Please keep posting and NEVER EVER give up. PM me anytime James and stay safe.
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495284 tn?1333897642
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Avatar universal
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