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This was hard. I first want to say im sorry Kim. I have made a plan for the first time to get off and stay of heroin and all other drugs. Iv thought about this all day . I dont want to go on a methadone program as i feel it wont help or benifit me .I have not ruled out rehab, but would prefer to just go cold turkey. I know my time is running out and need to get this done . I also realise i cant be near heroin or any other drugs as i will relapse for sure I get a vallium refill tommorow that should help me with sleeping ect . I know that i have said this before im quiting drugs but i mean it this time or i will pay with my life . Not acceptible i need to do this for me and my children .  Im also going to attend aa and na as well as my counsilor to keep me away from the drug scene I know i can do this i had 200 plus clean time and life was so much better .Failure is not an option being clean is my goal . I want to be able to say how great life is and how happy i am again. I will keep you guys updated ,,,,,,,,James
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Avatar universal
sorry, i am new to this site and didnt realize that you have to read all of the thread.  
i have never done this before.
so i read the thread and am so happy that you are doing so well.
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Avatar universal
i just got out of rehab and the methodone really helps. they get you off of it by the time you leave. something you should perhaps try.
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Avatar universal
You are right when he was a boy b4 my time. he used to deliver my grans milk. thats true Kathy he also went to the same school as my dad. funny sean an actor my dad a coal miner LOL ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,James
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Avatar universal
ROTFL...Now James!

I have a scottish friend and just the way he says my name is most beautiful! Delightful really...

I imagine you and Kim (yes, Kim too) sound the same. He was born and raised in the same area.
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Avatar universal
Thank you Sophie your the 2nd person that said that.Kim says different she saysi m a blabber rmouth but i agree with you Sophie its my ( sean edinburgh connery)  accent LOL ,,,,JAMES
Sorry girls we cant  put phone numbers and addresses on here now dont be to disappointed HAHA
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711224 tn?1344771687
Hey girls, you should hear him talk!!! He's got the cutest accent you ever heard!!!!
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Avatar universal
LMAO!!!! So glad that you have not disappointed me in your original description! haha...
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Avatar universal
Winkwink haha Good to know thats been cleared up. Iv done that post Vicki So everyone gets the right updates T?Y Vicki,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,James
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Avatar universal
LOL  wink   wink   LOL

Thanks for clearing that up...

V.
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Avatar universal
Well girls there was some confusion.I am talldark and very handsom LOL
Kim is blonde and petite  And very pritty just thought i wold right all the confsion...James
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Avatar universal
Hey~~~Kathy~~~  James said in a post that he was dark skinned,tall and handsome.
I believed it!!  LOL  LOL    Doesn't matter but I always pictured James and Kim and the kids as all being blonde and fair.   Funny how we picture people...

James...Hi!    10 days is wonderful, kiddo!   You know,I think there probably HAS been some confusion on clean time etc...  If folks have not kept up daily(which is hard)
they skim through posts and misunderstand the thread.  After the "incident" there were two separate (or three) posts going and it got a bit confusing.  I felt fortunate because Kim sent me a note or two so I was up to speed,personally.
Sooo,maybe it's time for a new post.  Like:  " Hi- It's James. I've been clean for 10 days".     :)

Hug to you and Kim~

Vicki  xo
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Avatar universal
James...you are doing tremendous and you SHOULD be super proud. I knwo I am super proud of you!  Glad to see that you are focusing on ppl's comments that really care about you, kim and your recovery too. Got get em!!

Oh,, one more theing...Kim told me you're not tall, dark and handsome...whats up with that?! SHe said you're blonde and handsome...lol. Have a good day, my friend and we'll chat soon.
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Avatar universal
ya i hear ya bud... sounds like u really are gona do it this time, an i hope ya do. anyway im doing fine as usual i fked up i didnt even last a full day an went rite bak to smokn sum oxies... but ill get bak on the rite track enuf talkn about me an mistakes this is about ur successes pal. an keep on the rite track sounds like kims really got ur bak by reading here post an thats really cool an ur a lucky guy to have her on ur side aight bud keep up the good work my man
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Avatar universal
Thanks bud glad that you understand what im saying,,,,,JamesPs whow you doing ?
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Avatar universal
You Go James!!

Terry
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Avatar universal
congrats buddy like u said u dont have to prove us anythng as long as the important people really kno how ur doing thta all that matters an sounds like kim an ur family does so wishing ya all the best an keep up the good work turn that 10 into 20 to 30 an so on an so forth .
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Avatar universal
hey i dont kno u or james but i fell same way as u do this site is good to get stuff off ur chest sometimes esp for those of us who cant talk to certain opeople on here at least some people kno were were coming from BUT i do not like that sum people who do not kno u or jim an kno all the circumstances feel it neccessary to judge an say stuff that they do not kno all they do is say what they think and alot of it is bs cuz no one knows the real circumstances so this site is good but at times can be very annoying cuz sum people just either dont get it or try to butt in an say thngs that they have no idea about. but anyway just thought i kinda felt how u felt when i was reading ur post an i really do wish u guys all the best some things are just not meant to be posted on here for all to see cuz thts how people tend to say thngs they dont no the facts an try an chime in wth there 2 cents well good luck hope ya all the best.
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Avatar universal
To all those who dont beleive im 10days clean of heroin.Well as long as i know and Kim knows thats all that matters to me. I also know while in hospital i got morphine then some opiate painkillers, I could do nothibg about that, and if that does not make me clean. Well im sorry i was wrong, But i have never took my doc heroin for 10 days,And im proud of myself my family are also very proud of me for that.
And i have never asked for nor intend to askfor sympathy, I guess some ppl have hearts for the ppl who never judged me i thank you all from my heart.Tough love i can handle that so thanks also tothe ppl who gave me tough love.It made me open my eyes to what i was doing to myself and 2my family i also wish to thank youfrom my heart
10 DAYS AND COUNTING YEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......JAMES
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Avatar universal
You are on an old post. James flushed that and hasnt  touched it since and doesnt intend to.

Worried. I have no intention of leaving James. And not once have i ever mentioned that i am on the verge of relapse. There were times before mh that james and i started detox and it was me that crumbled first and he didnt leave me so i cant say that he is the only one that relapses. It was me on many occasions that kept going back to it. Also, i would like to verify to everyone that yes, we have kids but they are 24 and 26 and dont stay with us, so there are no kids in the house. It was my fault that they found out the address anyway, i done something i didnt realise i had done so i now know how they knew the address.

Sweatinit  I now know exactly what you mean.  ill write to you after i do this post.

And a lot of you havent a clue about our personal circumstances. Only a few close friends know and if you did you would understand why it is so hard. I do not mean to sound harsh but i have posted things also and James clean days were on both posts i think, if not at least one of them. I am grateful for your concern and know that he needs some tough love sometimes and i appreciate that. James and i had a very emotional talk about things and his attitude has changed completey. I know him better than anyone and as soon as hes recovered he is going back to his meetings. I also want to make it crystal clear to everyone that we do not have hospitals that do rehab. We are in a country were we are treated for free and only have detox centres. The waiting lists are months and you cannot just walk into one, unless of course you can go to the private ones but they cost thousands of pounds, which i do not have or we woud have been there years ago. Again i thank you all for your concern and would appreciate your continuing support.    Kim P S we have been married for 28 years and will not through that time away!!!
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401095 tn?1351391770
Lots of sympathizers here...a bit of drama from top to bottom..u should feel re-infoced as lots of support here for u
Kim always seemed so straight-forward/down to earth....very to the point//a strong person...I respect strength in a person...
Hang on to her///just because she is strong does not mean she doesnt need u....and dont forget to get urself straight so she doesnt move on one day.....moving forward is part of life//other choice is to stay and dwell in the darkness////depressed, negative// people like this can get very old//often those who managed to leave their past behind do not want to re-live anothers past with them over and over...if one person does not grow/nor attempt to move forward and the other does///they will part ways eventually...people want to be happy..a persn surrounded by positive nrg is so much more pleasnat than one who is surrounded by negative nrg
Drug use keeps us a bit depressed....depression is a state of selfishness spiritually..it is hard to perceive others needs when we r self absorbed..pay attn to her..do not forget
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401095 tn?1351391770
skimmed this post..lots of drama noted...not a whole lotta moving forward nor progress from the last posts i saw
STILLTRYING////is kim/ur wife/ on the verge of relapse cos of ur continuing relapses and cries for help????seems like she stays stable...i think she will be ok without u if u check in James////she doesnt post much but i get the drift she is strong\  dont see alot of drama surrounding her posts a while back///very down to earth she seemed...she didnt attract the soap opera stuff///seemes very strong
It seems as if u have a following/u attract some drama james...and i hope these r strong peole who can help u..in reality they r not aftercare tho james...often their drama is ona higher scale than urs altho all here want u to pull thru

just remember...if nuttin changes///nuttin changes...make a change
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711224 tn?1344771687
Thank you James! I still have a lil problem with my self confidence, working on it tho!! lol
I'm so glad you're doing that well my Friend, of course you're my Friend!!! I love you both madly, ya know that... Please give a hug to Kim from me and I send you sooooo many Mwah's coz you can't have any hugs yet!!!
Sending you sunshine from over the Channel.
xoxoxo. sophie
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Avatar universal
Moon,
I dont see where James is using. He just got home from the hosp today. Nowhere does he say he is using. His other posts says he 9 days clean. I'm confused?
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Avatar universal
James, you nearly lost your life the other night and put your family in harms way over drugs. Now today, only days later, you are using. James, I know your very fortunate to have Kim beside you but honestly, how much more do you think she can take? Don't you think the fact that your children could have been harmed over the very drug you refuse to flush today could be the breaking point for her? Sorry James but your being very self centered right now. You need rehab and I'm sure Kim would be fine while you were in getting treatment. what is detrimental to her health is your continued use and the stress she must be enduring having to worry about you and worry about her children and whether or not someone else might come to your door.

It's time to stop the ******** James, flush that crap and get into rehab right away. You nearly died over it and here you have the opportunity to make things right. Start by getting rid of it and have Kim make the call to get you into an intensive rehab program. I truly think it would save your life. Your in my prayers and I hope you do what needs to be done.
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