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Pain Killer Addiction

I had an injury and my dr kept refilling my vicodin for 6 months, probably 3 months longer than I needed it... I don't get high off of it... when I take one I feel good and I can concentrate and I feel like cleaning my house. My previous depression / anxiety is relieved and I just feel good when I take it.  When I go without taking it for a day, I get a huge headache, backache, and I am tired and I feel like ****.  I lost my medical insurance and I cannot afford to go to the doctor, or rehab, etc. I have 30 pills left and I am starting to panic. It has just sunk in that I may be addicted to it. I am a professional in the community and I am going through a difficult divorce so I don't feel that I can disclose this to anyone or seek treatment.  In the past, I have been on pain killers before after surgery and took them until the prescription ended and lived through it, but I don't recall being this concerned or worried about it before.  The most I have taken is 1 pill 2 times a day. I am really kind of scared and not sure what to do. Am I addicted? Why do I feel so crappy without it? How long should this last? I'm scared of screwing up my life... what should I do?
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518798 tn?1295212279
I remember how I used to do everything better on hydros.... clean, cook, teach, have sex, everything was better.  It took me a long time to get used to doing everyday activities without it.  But it CAN be done.  Good luck and I wish you the best
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
One other thing... drinking last night while on vicodin really worries me... I am afraid that I am going to trade one addiction for another... When my ex left me for another woman a year ago, I started smoking and drinking... then I got insomnia and got lunesta to sleep which is about $200 a month for the prescription... I feel like I am addicted to the Lunesta too... I have made it through the worst of the divorce so now I need to get healthy... I am afraid of the idea of quitting everything at once... I am not sure how to get through this without becoming an alcoholic as I wean off of the pain meds... and how I should approach?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Again thanks for all the support! I am so glad that I researched this as I am feeling tempted to take more so that I can feel good and get some work done... but what I have learned from you all is that doing that will make the withdrawals worse when done... I don't have the courage to tell my doctor not to prescribe them for me again... and I want to tell my boyfriend so he can understand what is going on with me... but I am scared he will be mad at me and I am embarrassed and ashamed... This weekend has been a total waste as I have only taken enough pills to give me the energy to take care of my kids but not enough to do anything more... I drank several glasses of wine last night and I feel sick today and very tired and depressed... while drinking last night I sent a long email to my ex and he responded by telling me to stop drinking... I could lose custody of my kids if I don't get a handle on this... Today I am feeling ashamed and irritable and I am not interacting with my kids very well... I keep beating myself up about how I got myself into this situation and I need some advice that will help me stop being upset with myself so I can be strong and beat this... Funny thing, but I am a professional, and part of my job is dealing with drug addicts and giving advice to others...
Helpful - 0
372416 tn?1242665752
Lucky for you that you're catching this early on.  Most of us have used for years.  I would think that it makes a big difference w/recovery after detox.  

Your dose was minimal, but still enough and long enough to cause a dependancy.  I admire you for wanting to nip this in the bud now.

I was close to a member here a few months back that had the habit for a short while like you.  She took 4 a day, but all at one time, after work to go home and deal w/the baby and housework.  

It only took her about 1 month to feel back on track.  WOW!  It takes most of us months or more than a year to feel good.  

So I believe you will be fine in no time Abby.  Stay here to get the support you'll need during and after.  I don't always post, but read daily.  I'll be thinking of you a lot because you remind me of my close friend that doesn't visit here anymore.

Best Wishes.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Good for you! I wish I had stopped when I was at your dose. I think the tapering with your last 30 will be a good idea. And since we're girls here on this thread I totally agree with getting the house cleaned/organized before you quit. I actually picked a date to c/t and I cleaned my house from top to bottom, grocery shopped (7-Up, bananas, vitamins, soup, Pepto, Saltines...you get the picture). I also got my hair cut, did my nails, a facial, etc. so I would kind of feel pretty while I was feeling like doggy doo. LOL. I also answered all my back e-mails, took care of that pile of mail/etc. on the table.  It does help to not have all that household stuff staring you in the face when you aren't feeling so hot. Anyway, take care and good luck. Reading and posting on here helps a lot.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your input. I appreciate it greatly. I am almost glad I have lost my health insurance, as it has impeded my ability to get any more refills... I can now see how easy it is to get addicted to these pills... as 3 months ago when I would take 1 pill it would last 8 hours and now 1 pill hardly does anything anymore and the effect I get only lasts an hour or two... I don't know if I am addicted but as one of you stated I think my body is dependent on them. I have noticed that I need to take one immediately in the morning in order to get moving and that I am having more body aches, back pain, and head aches than I ever had before in my life. And I get grouchy and impatient and tired when it wears off... I think I am going to do what you advised and slowly taper off of them until gone and get my house clean and myself organized before the prescription ends, because I have a feeling that I am not going to feel very good for awhile once I don't have anymore left.  I am very thankful for this website and posts so I could acknowledge my problem and deal with it. I am scared but knowing that there are other people who have gone through this is a comfort for me. Thank you.
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
I have heard that it is a good idea to clean ur house from top to bottom before u quit the pills...guess we see why!  plus it is peaceful to a person as a rule to have their house clean while they r feeling kinda yucky...

r u addicted?  dont know, but the fact that u dont feel ood without them is not a good sign...at ur dose..2 a day..u should be able to beat this without a super bad detox..breaking the habit will e the hardest part..learning to go and do without the crutch..and u will go and do without them and then u will stop thinking about them as part of ur routine so to speak.....it is good u r addressing this now...cos it doesnt get any better..only worse...get out while the getting is good!  keep posting as there is alot of support here
Helpful - 0
775823 tn?1239676122
I too would go on cleaning sprees on my Lortabs!!!  My space was always spotless!!  No dust, mess, nothing at all!!  I haven't cleaned in 12 days but I have been off of the pills for 12 days now too!!  I will take a dirty space to this new found freedom any day right now!!! :)  Today/Right now is actually the first time since I went cold turkey that I have the urge to clean and do laundry so I am going to jump on it!!  I can't stand a dirty space!!!  

Abby you could taper like Avis suggested to help minimize the w/d once you run out.  Your body has become addicted to them as Avis stated.

Also, take a good multi-vitamin during the process and after as well as Vitamin B-12 pills.  This will help a lot with the fatigue and give you some energy!!  

Rose, good luck to you too!!!  Yes, you can do it too!! :)  I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, which is why I started taking the pills to begin with.  I haven't had any pain within the last 12 days so I am thankful for that!!  And the w/d haven't been that horrible either.  Just mostly fatigued from time to time like you mentioned but today (Day 12) I feel great!!  

You both are in my prayers!!

-J
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
Abby I would use the pills left to taper off it will help minimize your wd.I would do 2 a day for a few days then 1 1/2 for a few days  then 1 and so on until you are off them.I cant tell you whether you are addicted to them but I can tell you your body has become dependant on  them .You will be OK .we are her to help.
avis
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Gotta tell ya, I loved cleaning my house when I was on Lortab...to the point I needed it to clean.  I went cold turkey and after 12 days was fine except for some tiredness; stayed away from painkillers for 3-4 years; just started them again and don't know why!  I do have a very painful medical condition, but I dealt with it for quite a while with no narcotic painkillers, so I could really kick myself right now.  Hopefully, I've caught myself in time, I haven't been on them that long and I'm not taking the huge amount I was before...I'm determined to stop ASAP!  It is NOT worth being addicted to painkillers!  I wish you the very best of luck, YOU CAN DO IT AND SO CAN I.  Hugs!
Helpful - 0
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