Parent of a heroin addict

[CASEY]

My 19 year old has been using heroin for a year. Right now, he denies it but then he will ask for clonodine. Until he admits he has a problem, what should we do? Wait around until he crashes? He suffers from severe depression and is on Wellbutrin. He attributes all of his problems to depression and is very angry if I suggest it is the drugs. I am trying to go on with my life but it is hard when he is falling apart at 3:00 am, crying and lamenting about having no hope. I am going to Alanon. I have told him we will get help for him when he is ready but his meltdowns are killing our family. How direct should I be about the evidence he sometimes leaves around plus the raging? I am so worn out. Help!

[Svet060313]

Recently, my son died from heroin overdose. We found his body, called 911, started CPR but he was already gone. He just turned 22. We fought his addiction for 5 years. It started with painkillers, cocaine, and finally heroin. Counselors, outpatient clinic, methadone clinic didn't help. Got in trouble @ 19, put on probation, violated because of the use of drugs. I took him to court and promised to bail out, but instead I left him there thinking I will save him from addiction. After 2 months in jail he came back home, absolutely changed. I hoped that this is it, finally, he is clean, will find job, go back to school. I was so happy. Then 2 weeks before his death I noticed already familiar signs of addiction. I told him we are not gonna tolerate this and I will start eviction process. His body didn't develop tolerance to heroin yet and he died. It's such a pain to loose a child. But I realized that you can't just fight the battle for drug addict, he has to help himself, our love only helps to support their habits.

[gnarly_1]

sorry to here about your son unfortunately there is nothing you can do till he is ready to give it up there are a lot of factors he still may be enjoying it or it my be the fear of withdrawals that keeps him down I know how hepless it is to be both an addict and the parent of one my youngest daughter took to the streets at 13 to live as a crack methamphetamine addict she would be goon for weeks sometimes months we often called the morg looking for jane doe
it took a near fatle auto accedet and 2yr in jail for her to find recovery
but god be with her she is now 22 a mom and clean and sober so theses things do have happy ending sometimes I wish you luck and recamend alaon meeting to you it will help you with boundrys and stop you from enabling him its geared for famlys with addicts in them it will help you I wish you luck with this say a prayer for you good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  

[brokenheart66]

I too have a son who is addicted to heroin.   This is our second serious battle with his addiction. He has been in treatment both outpatient and inpatient for 45 days.  He did well for over a year.  Then several relapses.  Currently I think hes worse than the first initial discovery of his use.  I'm sick, I'm afraid eveytime he leaved the house that it will be the last time we see him alive.  Hes now 20 and refuses any treatment.   He was involved in a horrible accident at work and almost died. It was by no fault of his infact it was neglect on the part of the company he worked for that almost cost him his life.  So his recovery has been slow and hes very depressed and he blames his recent use on this accident.  This has been so difficult for our family.   We are all afraid, its so real, the fact that he could die using.

[Holliee]

wow that is awful about the money and he11 he is there for help so they should have checked his bags and him when he came in. I know the first time I went to rehab I also carried stuff in and boy the found it on me and flushed it well made me throw in and flush so yes they should give him another chance. Thats what he is there for to get help getting clean. I would fight that part w/them either let him stay or give me my money back or let come back for that money. I would make a huge fuss, Tell them that your going to write the paper that they threw him out after an hr and didnt even try to help him. I would make sure they knew your not willing to back down. I wish you the best and keep us posted but next time start a new question at top page click on post question and write you will get better responce that way some ppl never look at the post that are old. This one started back 2000.

[mom86]

My son,22,addicted to heroin for 6 years...after staying clean for one year, he started again 3 weeks ago....he came to me for help and he signed up for detox...first hour he is calling me to go pick him up because they discharged him ..he had 2 pain killer with him in case he couldnt carry the pain...I know, stupid thing to do but don't they always act like this? any way..I am a low income parent and i had to borrow $250 dollars for gov. bed..now they discharged him and kept the money...he said that he cried and asked for a chance. they told him he can come back in one month but the money is gone.the question is how can I deal with his extreme disturbing behaviour for next 30 days and is there anyway I can ask them to not charge us again for the service we never used?(sorry for spellings mistakes...English is my second lang.)Thank you.

[oneof4]

I am very realistic about what is going on and have been dealing with her and the hell that she lives in and it breaks my heart that for all the help and support i cant do a thing for her other than wait. Death is immenent and there are no two ways about it, with or without the heroin her  little 30kg body is not going to take much more, there has been a lot of physical damage that cant be repaired, even she succeeds and kicks this. I am not looking for cures at this stage, as for methadone, she fought that for 10 yrs says it rots your teeth, but when the heroin drought hit town she needed a back up and meth was it.  Eventually they push through the barriers of heroin on top of meth and end up taking them both. there are ways and means around everything, this experience has opened my eyes to another side of the world that normaly people would not even think about.  i am happy to chat and see what other people have experienced and maybe some of my experience could help somebody out there.

[Savas]

I'm so sorry, that must be hell. But nowadays, the detox is NOT the easiest part. Due to changes in views on addiction, there are no easy options for detox anymore.
I have a thread called
"Methadone detox: What works, what doesn't

in this forum. It applies, as heroin and methadone are both opiates, and the long term effects for heroin withdrawal, while may be shorter in terms of a few days here and a few months there are there.
Information is crucial to understanding and beating what your offspring is going through for BOTH of you. There's a lot of misinformation out there, and it will only hurt you in the long run.

Not to say you aren't totally right! The after care is incredibly important and very difficult. It takes a core shift in personality, world view and intense self reflection to achieve the stability and peace of mind to stay away from drugs.

[NewLeaf]

I agree a new thread would be good. Another mom of an addict.

[Yoda99]

Hi, my name is Yoda and I've been here for a while now.  I can't believe I just read though all of these posts to find out this thread was started in 2000.  The people that were posting at that time are probably not posting anymore.  You do have a valid point, and I think you should start a new thread.  These old ones that keep popping up are throwing a lot of people off.
Good luck,
Yoda

[oneof4]

I am the mother of a looooooooooooooong term addict. and i agree the detox is the easy bit its the rehabilitation thats the hard thing as heroin gets such a grip its hard to break and the longer your on it the harder it is.

[McGill]

Some people are just asses.  Don't be an idiot

[John07211996]

I am a recovering addict who has been able to stay clean since 1996 through living the program of Narcotics Annonymous.  My drug of choice was heroin.  During my period of time in active addiction I used despite virtually all of the consequences.  My family and friends went through hell.  Most of them thought drugs were going to kill me.  They would have too except for virtue of me finding recovery.

Getting off dope is only part of the problem.  Sure being dope sick is no picnic whatsoever.  Between the throwing up, chills and body aches it really sucks.  However, I got off of dope quite a number of times but ended up going back to it.  The problem is staying clean more so than getting clean.  That is why it is so imperative that I continue to work a program of recovery.  

I am of the firm belief that drug addiction is a disease.  The first component of this disease is physical (the inability to stop using drugs once we start).  The second part is mental - the overpowering compulsion to continue to use even though we know it is killing us.  The third is spiritual - total self-centeredness.  

I hope that all addicts who desire to get clean and stay clean find their way.  This is a horrible disease.  It killed all of my friends and will kill me if I went back out again.  I saw the looks in my friends parents eyes at their funerals.  

[smiler in u.k]

Im aLso a heroin addict and am desperately trying to get of it but there is not enough help over where i live.Has anyone out there got any advice for me as it would be much appriaciated
ive tried five times to do my cold turkey but give in to the cravings of one last buzz.my hole life is falling apart around me and i dont now what to do.

[From Aunt Lindy to Mariah]

Hi Craig!
We are glad you are here. We can use your help. Please keep checking back.  It would be great to have your input.  I am sure that you will get your answer to the question that you had in your post. Dont be a stranger!
Marcie.

[MaDsUrFeR]

I was wondering if anyone knew how Genie got on with her son, I have just spent quite a while reading through all the posts.
My cousin was a heroin addict and therefore I realize the pain and heartache that is felt by loved ones, it would be nice if you could drop me a line Genie (or anyone that knows her) and let me know how things are going. I will offer all the help to you I can (I'm a support worker for people with stress disorders).

God Bless

Craig (from the UK)

mad.***@****

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Thanks for the good information!  I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion of Naltexone and the so-called rapid detox method.

[Brighty to Dan]

Thanks for a great post! You have confirmed what I believed about Naltrexone..... it's a death sentence waiting to happen. Best wishes, Brighty

[Frankinscense]

I forgot to mention that these doctors claim that naltrexone pellets stop cravings for opiates. This is misinformation at its worst. It simply is not true. It is used in a drug called Revia to help alcoholics, but people using this drug still have a very high relapse rate. If nalterxone worked for opiate cravings there would be no need for methadone or LAAM to help opiate addicts with their cravings! These doctors using rapid detox as a means to help people are oportunist out for a quick buck and are borderline unethical with this procedure. There have been deaths for the procedure alone, not to mention the overdoses due to the implants of naltrexone! Natrexone should be used for one thing and that is opiate overdoses.
Dan...

[tom to Dan]

thanks for your words on rapid detox. I think it is grotesque and more appropriate as a scene from a Frankenstein sequel.

[Brighty to Dan]

Thanks for a very important and informative post !!! I am wondering if the problem is due to the rapid detox itself or the naltrexone. If you know more about this please share it here. And do you know if the medical community or the govrening boards have placed any warnings or restrictions on this procedure ? Thanks again for sharing your information.

[Frankinscense]

Rapid detox is a horrible and very dangerous procedure that has taken lifes. There are people who have survived the very expensive procedure only to relapse and had to actually surgically remove the naltrexone pellets the doctors put under the skin. It is a very conterversial procedure that has relapse rates in the 99% catergory. I think it is a terrible way to detox opiates! (IMO)
Sincerely, Dan

[CASEY]

Janet 26, You are so sweet to take time to care about my plight with my son. I am sorry you have had to go through so much but congratulations for pulling yourself up from the depths. You have touched my heart. Here's to hope. Genie

[Brighty ... a PS to my post up above]

I think it would be good to know if rapid detox is for all opiate addicts or just heroin addicts.... I am wondering if they adjust the dosages of the rapid detox "cocktail" for those whose opiate use is not as heavy as that of a 10 bag per day heroin addict as opposed to a 10 pill per day vicoden addict. I hope someone will be able to answer this. By the way, the specific name of the Investigative Reports I saw was titled "The Junkie Next Door" and it was aired sometime last winter... a year or a bit less ago. I do know that Investigative Reports" has a web site for anyone who is interested.

[Brighty to Cindy]

I basically know what you know about the rapid detox and have no personal experience... that is... my daughter never detoxed that way. What Cindy said is what I have learned from TV shows and sites on the net. Investigative Reports did a show on heroin addiction and one component was the rapid detox. The information was that it's useful because it gets the addict past the main reason they do not quit... because opiate withdrawl is a horror... so my understanding was that if it were an easier detox addicts may get clean. The other issues mentioned were that it's only a first step. The addict will still have to utilize recovery programs and relapse prevention and work at staying clean just like the addict who had a 7 day withdrawl. In this particular documentary a doctor was interviewed and he is someone who is well known in the south Jersey and Philadelphia area. He is or was also on the net under rapid detox or similar search words. I mentioned his name once on this board and my post was removed so I assume my doing this was inappropiate. Anyway, one of the things that was highlighted was that this doctor reported he had done something like 3,000 (?) of these rapid detoxes. Patients were tracked and there were something like 8 deaths later on. Now what I got from this documentary was that he was asked to stop the rapid detox by the state until the safety of the procedure could be examined. He complied. It seemed that the procedure was safe but that most of the patients had naltrexone pellets implanted under their skin after the procedure and did not heed the warnings that using heroin with these implants could cause death because the naltrexone prevents the person from getting the high from the opiate... and since they cannot perceive the opiate to be working they generally overdose and die. Now... it is incredulous for me to imagine that anyone would go ahead and use an opiate, particularly heroin, knowing full well that the naltrexone would prevent then from getting high... but evidently there are a number of cases where this has happened and death resulted. This makes me think that naltrexone does not prevent cravings and acts as a psychological barrier so the addict decides not to use because they will not get high. I am not sure if this is correct so maybe someone will post here and clarify this for me. I have always been curious about this. Personally I think it may be better not to use naltrexone if someone is going to try to "skirt" it and die in the process. Also, I have no information if this doctor in NJ is back to rapid detox now and if it's still considered a worthwhile endeavor. Seems to me the rapid detox would be excellent but maybe not the naltrexone. I hope someone will post some good information on this. Love, Brighty