Part Dux: A Comedy/Tragedy

[Pleth]

So, I had posted a serious question a while ago but I kinda want to post this one just to vent. Please bear with me: I am so sick of being one of those people that is weak willed and finds the need to medicate their body just to feel normal, and being one of those, why the heck can we send probes to the moons of Jupiter but the Big Pharms cannot make a pill that gives you the relief of pain without making it absolute HELL to come down off of? I am a God fearing man, love the Lord but am also a pretty crazy guy. I have always been one of those kids who wanted to see more, do more, FEEL MORE. My life is not unmanagable, I have a job, house, daughter and can function. Normally, I prefer to do it with no back pain (hence the pills) but to be honest, I also enjoy life a lot more with warm fuzzies. I am putting them down (19 days now) because I KNOW they are not good for me. I KNOW the will lead to hardcore addiction but let me tell you what people, I know I can pick up the phone and have 30 brought over in 10 minutes. That really sucks. I thank GOD He helped me through the first 7 days and I know in my mind it will get better but I just wanna cry. It's not flippin fair. I really love people, do the right thing, love my neighbor and am not a mean or violent guy. Why the hell does my brain go "mmmm, warm fuzzies good. Let's do it one more time....come on...." I smoked weed my whole life and gave that up because I know it's not good for my lungs. I don't drink excessively because it is not good for my liver. Now, I can't take ANY pills and this sucks! I'm bored, irritated and actually found myself watching a Discovery show on the Myan calender and how 12/21/12 could be the end times. I actually was like, dude! If that is the case I can just keep taking them for 4 more years and not have to deal with another detox! How fu**** up is that? And I am not kidding! If I knew the day Jesus came back or if NASA tracks an asteroid I am all over them! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????????I know we are just a sliver in time, irrelovant in the overall scheme of things except for our souls to God. So, I know the Tyrannasaurs Rex has more to complain about with life than I do but I really feel like I am losing my mind. I have an addictive personality and cannot blame any major life hardship for it. I simply found out when i was really young that putting things into your body can make you fell pretty dang good. I just never stopped. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I don;t mean to waste anyone's time I just needed to get that all off my chest. Noone in my life would understand. Thanks.- Pleth

[anotherfinemess1]

Addiction is an equal-opportunity affliction.  It will take down  an upright,, god-fearing, pillar-of-society type just as quickly as it will take down the downtrodden. And the nature of an addict is that we will use any little excuse to justify using (including the Mayan Calender, lol!)

[VicodinHelp]

you say "I know we are just a sliver in time, irrelovant in the overall scheme of things except for our souls to God."

not so.

Jesus sacrificed himself: body, soul, and spirit to save you: BODY, soul, and spirit.

Do you believe in the resurrection?

I assume you are Christian.

[voiceofreason]

You said 2 things that I relate to. Number one..............some of us just have addictive personalitys PERIOD!!! ....................And number 2 is BOREDOM, I find that the people I talk to are just plain bored and thats why they get high. I can relate to everything you said.

[johnnykelly]

Hi pleth,i to seem to be unconfortable in my own skin,moreover in the way i feel.I started using pain meds in 1990 before and long after sergury.Like you stated i to like the warm fuzzies that happen when i take perks and now oxys. The perks at one time prvided me with substance that seemed to be low on the negative side. no DUI s no paranoid cocaine reactions. The perks worked for me 10yrs and then i increased my amount and had 4-6 different doctors and my life involved around this substance.And now I use still trying to relive the glory days and have noved up to 2- 80mg ocys a day the same as 32 percocets.bit without the cut. I am again trying to stop, and stay stopped. good luck john

[Savas]

I would say...welcome to America! Land of the quick fix and artificial feel good. :)

What can I say? It's three AM, I'm just now thinking I can sleep, and I'm watching the boys on "South Park" try to find "the brown noise".

Ah well.  I'd say watch out for the discovery channel. It can really mess up your mind. Especially after midnight. :)

I try reading philosophy on nights like this when I just can't sleep, but if I read one more treatise on the meaning of life right now I'm going to go stick an M-80 up Plato's *ss.