Positive stories or affirmations ?

[Enuffisenough]

So we are all here, misrable, hating detox, relapsing etc. how about we write something positive. Could be anything, from clean time, to a realization that helped quit . Successful stories, positive outcomes and easy withdrawals..... Lets try . Lets try.
" Affirmations, as they apply to persons in recovery, are used to change negative, self-serving and egotistical thoughts. ... Feeling unworthy is rocket fuel for addiction." Find what led us to use and forgive ourselves , those that hurts us, and let it go. Move on, they have.....

[Enuffisenough]

Oops cut off. Anyhow, reading positives helps us motivate one another.
So I'm 7 days clean now. Still vomiting , but moving. And I get goosebumps and I love them! I feel alive !!!!!!!! My body has feeling. Sad, happy, cry from joy or pain. But I feel and I love looking into my kids eyes!!!!

[Enuffisenough]

Can we keep the positives coming? I think it's insp

[Enuffisenough]

Re reading! Home, Epsom bath in bed. Ick

[Enuffisenough]

I read all your stories twice and took info from all of you, and wrote it down already!  All of you helped me get so motivated . Very much appreciated . Thank you and anyone else want to share positives: keep them coming . I think it helps us all.

[clean_in_ks]

Thank you for that, Dana.  I had never heard your history.....just met you right after you had that ankle injury a few months back.
You are an AMAZING woman.....know that?
I love seeing your name on the boards again and of course, love YOU too, not just seeing your name LOL!

[Enuffisenough]

Congrats on 3 weeks

[Dane74]

Well, for me it all started out since childhood due to a lifetime of surgeries.  I think about it now and as i child i suffered withdrawals and at that time didn't have a clue as to what that even was.  I dabbled in the pills all prescribed as a teen but was always able to just stop when the RX was out.  As more years went on and more surgeries took place i was prescribed heavier narcotics and at higher doses and i realized my body was building up a tolerance.  But again once the script was out i was done.  To make a long story short, the last two surgeries have been a fight with these demons we call opiates.  I was able to successful taper off of all the opiates and did great and had zero mental issues, then 2 years later came and it was time for yet another surgery and this time i was put on even heavier crap Diluid, oxy, tram, norco, you name it i was giving it.  So after the surgery and rehab to get me back on my feet i was now taking more than prescribed not for the pain but for the high and energy.  Of course the added bonus of not feeling any pain either.  Well, thats when it turned into addiction for me and it happened  so fast.  Before i knew it i  was taking so many pills and BAM, i became a full blown addict and i couldn't stop and i was scared and i was in danger.  Not only was i a danger to myself i was a danger to my kids, i cant believe that i allowed my addiction to jeopardize my life and my kids i still feel like a fool to this day.  Then my fear really got to me as i would find myself passed out on the bathroom floor with a house full of teens, i mean what the hell was i thinking, i was a mess and had lost complete control and i was either going to wind up in jail or dead.  SO i finally realized i need help and i reached out on here and my friends all told me i need to go to rehab, well i fought that and was like no way in hell will i go there, well i actually listened to all these smart folks on here and confessed to my hubby that i needed help and off to 30 day inpatient i went. it was the best thing for me and i had learned so much.  I was actually clean for 10 months after my rehab and blew it on NEw years day like a complete idiot and i am still kicking myself for it, but i started over and here i am back to 3 weeks, but its ok i learned from it all, and I'm doing what i have to do.  Its still a struggle but i will take this life now than a day of using!!!!!  Using cant be an option anymore, all my secrets are out, and its time for me to face the  day to day challenges clean and i am working on that.  I am not by all means all happy go lucky, but i am alive and safe and my kids are safe and i am now a better person and in the end thats what matters most to me, being a good parent and wife........

[weaver71]

Wow Bob, an addict that like to do things extreme, imagine that.
If we use all the effort it takes to be a full time addict to anything, we can do it.

[Enuffisenough]

Amazing. If we put all the effort into the counting of pills, paying, wondering where getting them, etc, into getting clean, we would be SUCCESSFUL in a heartbeat. Interesting point that 110%. Thank you!!!
I can't wait to be at 180 days.

[Enuffisenough]

That is positive. And your positive helped me. And can help others. Thank you.

[Ben727]

Howdy. Former Lortab abuser here. Was on them for about ten years. Last two years I was taking 50-60 per day. That's a lot more than most people, but I tend to give 110% :) I'm at exactly six months clean tomorrow (actually 180 days was a few days ago, but I count the day of the month not total days). I only tried to quit the one time, and have not relapsed. It's that 110% thing applied to a sane undertaking!

Great thread you started here. I agree with every single positive thing that's been listed so far. They're all true. It's so great to be free of that monster! Here's my positive: I love living life again. I had lost that during my addiction, and I realize now for some years before it started. But now I feel so permeated by this sense of well being that I can hardly believe it at times. I really do feel like anything is possible, and it's a beautiful thing.

[cork712]

Even though I can't see much of a difference in me, my 14 yr old said today (when he was home sick), "You are being so motherly today--thanks." It stopped me in my tracks. I have been so emotionally removed and the influx of feelings now is exhausting sometimes. It's little things like that, waking refreshed, not hiding pills, etc. that make these days better. It's like focusing binoculars or tuning in a radio station--seeing my life more clearly now.

[Sweetness91]

Omg nolifeforme!!! Are you trying to make me laugh myself to death???!!! Now they really want to know why I'm bursting out in laughter! And I have to keep coming up with something because I don't want to tell them I'm the poster child for "coming off methadone"!! Geez you got my wheels spinning and my brain really working!! I could just kiss you right now. I've laughed more in the last week, all in agony, but nontheless, laughing...really hard!!

[Brightfutureahead]

There are so many great little tid-bits in this thread. I like what Weaver said about gathering wisdom: as time passes...wisdom accumulates and you start to realize why people tell you what they tell you to do. It's true ..

I've learned so many great things in recovery: take your time, don't judge others, get rid of your resentments, calm down that ego, do for others, etc etc. it's so nice to feel like you are good and that you're helping others. It's nice to have new friends- good friends. It's not a bed of roses everyday- but you start to pick up great tools to help everyday be so much better than any day using :)

[YesLife4Me]

Hey Now....I already gave you Poster Child Status...what else do you want?   LMAO!!!    :))

[Sweetness91]

What is positive about this? Well...I am slowly getting my life back...although I do feel like sh*t still at 29 days...but I guess I should expect that after 8 years of methadone treatment. I can't say that I was counting pills or worrying about where my next pill would come from because I was too chicken to over-medicate with two young ones at home, so I usually took at least 1/2-1 less pill a day, just because... but that doesn't matter because I was still addicted, but I did constantly think about when my next dose was gonna be...REALLY??...like as a mother of a 11 & 13 & 23 year old(23 yr old is stepson...that I love as my own)...shouldn't I be worrying about how to make sure they're set for success? Shouldn't I be worrying that their schoolwork is above average, that their grade are good enough to receive scholarships, that they very proudly have no cavities, that my daughter really wants a new pair of Justin Boots, that my son wants ANOTHER new 4-wheeler for his 14th birthday? I mean these all sound like little things, I know...but doesn't the little things add up? Three months ago I didn't give two shi*s that they desired these things...that they NEEDED other things too...luckily I have a very responsible and good providing husband who wasn't on methadone, although he did take percocets and detoxed right along with me...God i love him so much for that btw...otherwise I don't know where we would all be right now! Life w/o pills is already turning into something positive and rewarding...I find myself laughing at the dumbest things. And even find myself to be the one pulling pranks on the kids instead of the other way around!! That's something I wouldn't have even thought about a couple months ago...lol. Just three days ago, my son & daughter and I were going to the store...and what 11 &13 yr old doesn't love going to the store..grrr...anyway, my daughter was acting silly and licking snow off her door window, then acts like she's gonna go lick the windshield...all the while my son and I are waiting in the car, so as soon as she got to the front of the car, I started slowly backing out of the driveway...hehehe...and all I see is her jumping like a jackrabbit and waving her arms screaming "Mommy!!! I'm not in the car!!!"  OMG!!! We all laughed our a$$e$ off all the way to the store...in the store..and all the way home. It was EPIC!!!

So...there's my positive. As positive as I can be at the moment...but I don't think it's too bad for coming off methadone and only at 29 days...which btw, I will have 30 days tomorrow...geez...can someone give me a medal please?? A gold one??  :)

[Enuffisenough]

To Im Getting Clean,
We were on the same amount. up to 20 Yellows. Horrible. I don't know how I did that for so long.
Can you tell me when you felt better detoxing?
I detoxed once and was clean for 14 days. The first 7 were HORRIBLE, but I actually loved music and used the treadmill. Don't ask me how I did that. But I did it. My skin was flapping around like a fish. I coudln't stay still. It was horrible and hopefully this time It's not so bad. Staying positive.

[YesLife4Me]

I quit doing most all the things I used to enjoy as well.   Even when I had the pills and energy.   I was more worried about running out, when i might need another one, etc than living life.  I'm relearning who I am and what I enjoy.   I had forgotten who I was.   I'm making my way back now though.   :)    You will too!  

[Enuffisenough]

Good for you! Add me as a friend please?

[Enuffisenough]

So true, about the trips and exhaustion. I actually went to Bahammas, and ran out once. I had to go to a Dr there, which by the way, asked me what I needed  and I paid $30. She gave me a script for 45. I could  not believe how easy it was. Besides the point, It was awful. I told my husband then, and he was so mad he had to drive me around all day until I got pills to finish our vacation. I've been trying to quit since. He thought I quit when we returned from that vacation. I had to tell him again a few weeks ago and he is not supportive at all. Expects me to get up and do a lot. He helps around the house, but I need to still do homework etc. He said I got myself into it, I can get out, and it's mind over matter, don't be weak, be strong and just do it. Don't think about it. And, he's never had a problem with drugs, ever, so he doesn't know what it's like to withdraw from pain killers. Easier said than done.

[Enuffisenough]

Yes, I have noticed that all the things I use to do, Run at the park, go to the GYM, Go camping, to the lake, weekend trips, etc, I don't want to do and have been scarce for about 1 to 2 years. Because I'm either tired, or too in a daze, and lazy. Wondering and counting until my next refill. Which has got me in rouble too. Too many scripts. I don't have a choice but to stop. I weaned from 20 to 10 and now have 3 left. WOW. 3. So scared but NOT. I'm doing this. Thanks for your story.

[ImGettingClean]

Ive been on this site on and off for years. I have been trying sooooo hard for the past 3-4 years to get off this stup_d cycle...i'd get clean for a few weeks, then back on pain pills...then quit, then back again on the pills for a few months. then quit, then back...on and on and on and on...

i remember when i first joined here, i would take 5-6/day and thought that was a lot ... by the way, 5-6 5MG Vicodin. My last week of taking pain meds, i was downing 20-25 10MG a day and sometimes, didn't even feel high... WHAT?!?!?!?

I finally told my doc's, joined NA and just said no matter how bad my days get, it can't be worse than the HEI_I_ of addiction.

I'm 106 days clean. I wake up not anxious, wondering how many pills i have left. I go through the days with energy and dont need to worry about 'when is the high going to kick in?;...I sleep not wondering how I am gonna trick my doctors into prescribing me more meds...i go on a trip not wondering if i have enough pills to get me through the entire trip or do i need to call my doc and say 'hey, i m traveling and i forgot my meds, can u call in another Rx for me at the pharmacy where i m at?"...

It's exhausting being an addict, it really is.

I can finally say, 'i am me again'...i dont know when it happened but it did one of the days over the past 106 days.

I enjoy life. I smile. I laugh. I work out. I eat. I sleep. I get mad. I get annoyed...but hey, thats part of life.

by no means am i 'cured'...always having my guard up as relapse is 1 pill away.

Hang in there...thats what they always told me and never give up. U CAN do this. I too liked positive posts and stories of success as they made me believe, "I too can do this".

Well, i'm almost 4 months clean and to be quite honest, 4 months ago, I wouldn't have ever believed I would be writing this today.

Nick

[YesLife4Me]

When I started looking at all my losses and what the common factor was I realized it was 2 things.   Me and Drugs.   Drugs never made anything better.  Maybe I 'felt' better for a moment, but reality was still outside that false sense of feeling good.   And when I had to face reality, I wanted to run from it again and again and again, until one day I had suffered enough losses from avoiding reality to start appreciating what I do have.   I was losing my health, my financial security, my relationships, my job was suffering, I wasn't truly enjoying life anymore, I was just existing for the next dose.   Now I don't wake up thinking I need to dose up to face the day.  I actually get things done without using and feel good about what I have accomplished.   I have money left over and sometimes even money still in my account when I get paid again.  I can afford to treat myself once in a while.   I am present in the moment.    I notice simple things in life that I overlooked before.   But mostly, being able to look myself in the mirror every day and truly authentically smile and laugh is the most rewarding.    

[Enuffisenough]

I need the positive stories. It works, does something to my mind. Well when in full blown withdrawals, I can't even type. Which I should be in full blown by tomrrow AM. Wish me luck, as I really want to end this stupid stupid cycle.