So frustrating and the cravings r annoying!

[ang_811]

I'm posting bc I don't want to give up the fight!!! I'm so frustrated that I want to do the right thing but keep struggling. When given the oppourtunity to use I ponder with the Idea and then Just like that I use.  I just need sum support to get me thru ths day and thru my work nght. I'll be fine but once I get nto work I'll start to crave and can very easily get a pill! I'm desperate and just want to end this before it gets out of control. I tried to give up my shift but every1 has class tonight or already works.  I hate posting this Its hard but I'm desperate for support righ now.

[gnarly_1]

IM so happy you made it Angie so today we start counting days again...I new you could do it
now tomorrow you just do the same thing again ''just for today'' and b/4 you know it you will start racking up the clean time again .....hang in there YOU CAN DO THIS your friend Mark

[ang_811]

Ty everyone. I got ur posts while I was at work. Had a few cravings at work but instead of toying with the idea of taking a pill I took th advice of a good freind and I just told myself over and over that it's not me and Im not that person nemore! It worked! I'm drug free as for today. Plus I was reminded on how much I love to draw and that really took my mind off of everythig. I see my counselor tomorrow and can't wait. I need to learn alot more and gain more tools. I'm going to work on getting a larger support group!  

Thanks again everyone!! : )

[laurel453]

yes, you are fighting for your life !... can't you find a meeting to go right now ? there has to be some of them during the day not only late  in the evenings but i can be wrong about this...

[gnarly_1]

Hey Angie....im so sorry to here you struggle....its not ez all the time but try to get your mind on something else ...lissen to some music pray to God....anything to get your mind off using
its no longer an option you only have to say no ''just for today'' I know you can do it you have done it b/4 your just going threw a ruff spot right now...if the desire to get clean is greater then the desire to use you can get past this so dig down deep inside you know there you want to do whats right you can do it just put one foot in front of the other and walk it out
dont give in to temptation fight it with all you got and I think a meeting would help you fight this thing...remember the true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results ...nothing changes if nothing changes you got what it takes to do this you had 50 + days clean so its time to start counting days again...remember your fighting for your life here put everything you got into it your friend Mark  

[vicki595]

Okay Ang...here's the answer:  Stop pondering!!   You're thinking about it too much!!

When the thought pops in your head just end it,stop it,banish it!!!  Start walking away...
You need to fight the impulse and it's hard but not impossible!!

Please get some recovery support. I can't even express what a difference it makes!!

xo

[IBKleen]

Ang,

I have to agree about getting support. We have talked to you over and over about getting an outside support group and we have talked about the value of aftercare. You keep struggling but I don't see you helping yourself to get the tools you need to be able to get past the cravings or at least identify their source and learn to work through them.

Coming on here is great and I am glad that you did that but it does not replace the up close and person contact you get from real live people who are living their lives clean. Those are the people who want to hook up with.

I've heard you talk about this job before and this is where you get pills. I certainly would never suggest that you give up your means of support but I would have a hard look at it if I were you.

I hope you get past this cravings this time and get on with a great life I know you can have.

[Htownnofrown]

AA or NA would be hugely helpful to you right now. That's the thing about us addicts.. it's relatively easy to get clean when compared to staying clean. We have to have an aftercare plan in place and actually do it! Unfortunately we like to learn the hard way, we usually only do something to help ourselves when the pain gets great enough. Try not to let it get to that, get to some meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps. You will be amazed at the results you get!

[chronicmistake]

What kind of work do you do?  Can you ask people not to give you a pill no matter what?  are you clean?  don't do it!!! you will feel an amazing amount of power if you don't take anything.  are you in meetings? have a sponsor?  Can you get a new job?  maybe you need to tell the people that the boss knows illegal drugs are going around and they will stop bringing to work.  take control.  I know it is hard because you say your not going to use and your addict mind takes over and before you know it you screwed up.  dont do this and give me hope that I can to say no if I ever come around pills.

[LeaAnn807]

You MUST get yourself some support!  That is the only way.  I'm sorry that you are having a hard time and hard day today!  I will say a prayer for you to just get through the day.  That is all any of us can do.....just one day at a time!  Do not worry about how you will get through tomorrow, ok??