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Pure cocaine

Maybe there are others out here like me?! my preferred drug is cocaine! I feel like no one can control me i do want i want when i want to, Im mellowed out! Im not completely addicted.. I get the urge to do it, but i know it will ruin my relationship. even tho when i first done it I was with my boyfriend (he was there and doing it with me), now he wants nothing to do with it!!! But I see nothing wrong with it! Grant-it yes after doing 3 grams in 1 night, he didnt know I did it and I didnt want to tell him, but a day later after coming down from my high I ended up kicking him out (over a year ago, we are back together) bcz of lil petty crap! what happened after being addicted for 3-5months i felt get then this happened now?!?!
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Avatar universal
You guys are right, hear is my story that could have F*cked my life up!!! about 2 months ago, my man went to jail... 3 days later me and my "best friend" and her b/f came over we jus intended for it to be us. we got drunk took ahalf xanx bar.. this guy who deals me and him use to be close(about a year or 2 ago) getting high on coke and then messing around.. well me and my friend wanted white so we called him up, him his friend and his friends girl came over..  more or less i ended up cheating, never had sex but tried.. I feel guilty and regret, I told my man about it when he got out of jail.. but thats just not the end of my story, after we did that, I was bent I remember passing out and my "best friend" b/f invited more people over after i was out they brought mulch in tore my house up I guess
I woke up from puking on my shirt took it off and passed out on my bed.. woke up at 4am realized my house was trashed and a bunch of people in my house walking out in my bra with jeans on told everyone to get the f*ck out... and that was that I cleaned my house and life went on... now 2 days after my boyfriend got out of jail, my so called "best friend" made some sh*it up about how I was naked in the bathroom with 2 other guys doing coke (which to my knowlege never happened) ... I told my boyfriend everything that happened, and things have semi blown over... we ended up getting married just over a week ago... but some how Im called a hooker the girl who sells her self for drugs, which it does kinda seem like that tho it is def. not like that!!!! I quit talking to my "best friend" parted my self from everyone i use to hang out with, life is so much better, I know my hubby is hurt of what I did, which I dont blame him. I just want to put it in the passed quit bringing it up before it ruins our marriage!!!!!
Helpful - 0
1316877 tn?1275200613
nope, i lost my wife. she's screwed atleast 3 guys  know of, walked in on one. it didnt hurt the way i expected it would. I realized i was most in love with the idea of giving my daughter, kloe, the traditional, unbroken home life and loving family. My wife didnt love me, she stayed for convienance, cause i did 90% of the child raising, cleaning, cooking, everything that would need to be done. im a romantic, i would even put little notes in the coffee filter saying i loved her, to surprise her, or use shower crayons and write messages on the wall after she fell asleep to surprise her in the morning, stuff like that. days before i knew for a fact she took another guys dic$, i went to her work, in front of everyone, with a new wedding ring, got on one knee and asked her to rededicate her life to me. She said yes, that i had nothing to worry about. seconds before our last night living together, she told me. if we got divorced, it would only be because i made a mistake. within seconds, i felt the need to see her phone, reluctantly, she gave it too me. sure enough, under her brothers name, was the 1st other guys number. she proceeded to get drunk and spill the beans as to what extent the 2 of them had gone to with eachother. now, thats where i got hurt. next morning, dropped her off at work, then went home, packed up with kloe and we moved out. this happened just a few months ago, it really sucked. im irish, i woulda tried to make it work forever if she didnt betray me sexually.
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Avatar universal
OMG lol. Ok that was not your message, it was from another post i answered earlier. I am sorry, I have been fighting the flu and a bit delirous, haha. Please send me a message though and put an end to this. Life is great clean.
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Avatar universal
Hi again. I just tried to respond to the message you sent, but it won't let me send to you. I am logging off now, but keep in touch ok. Keep posting:)
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1316877 tn?1275200613
i was exactly where your at a couple years ago, i lost everything, wife, home, car, job, kid, respect, etc. . .i imagine i was worse off, i had a great job, kinda my own boss, would average 2 8 balls a day. at first, my wife used with me, then snorting just didnt do it for me, i jumped straight to shootin it up. from there, my life went from barely in control, to homeless in a matter of months. not only that, in 2007, i got addicted to hydro's, morphine, oxy, percoset, and in doses that would kill a normal person. i averaged 18  10mg hydros a day, or 15  10mg percs a day, or 6  30mg morphines that id cook and shoot up a day, or 4-5  80mg oxys that id also shoot up. that went on for a year and a half, so i got on suboxone. for 2 years ive taken 32 mg's, every day, i got fed up being a slave, said **** it, diddnt taper down, didnt tell my doc, just quit cold turkey. im in day 6, i have never, not once in my 25 years of life, felt what im feeling. I wont call it pain, i know what pain is, this, this is what i would guess the inner torture felt in people whove gone to hell. day 6, sh1t, worse part, i could go this very second, see my doc, get my regular 75 pills and get blitzed. as for the cke issue, ill be honest, for me, the routine or habit of doing it every single day made it impossible to quit. every morning, 8 am at work, time fo the first 8 ball, then noon time, force some food in me, then 2nd 8 ball. Then, haalf the time, 7pm, at home, 3rd 8 ball. understand though, im one of those white kids that grew up in south south texas, mcallen, tx, and growing up, whites were the minority. to survive, well, to survive with respect, you had to prove your a real dude, not a punk, what im getting at is, i paid $60 for a ball, or $150 for 3 balls, or flat $200 for half ounce(12 g's), not bragging, just want u to understand how i was able to maintain such a habit. my job made me $1000 + every week, and guess what, i never had a thing to show for it. to quit, i did 2 things, 1, lost everything, 2, moved 7 hours away where coke aint from 5 minutes across the border, meaning very very potent. the trash here gets stomped on so many times i cant even feel it, so i dont do it, and i lost all my old frends on purpose. Its gonna be super hard, not bad withdrawals, but mentally. i wish u luck, and im here for u any time
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Are you high now? If you keep doing what you want when you want to, you will see the real destruction of this drug soon and it is painful. I am an addict and cocaine is my drug of choice and could not stop. The longer you use the harder it is to stop and it can kill you.

Just wondering what the point of your post is? Do you want to stop? If you see nothing wrong with it, then your in complete denial. I am not being rude, I want to help and have been there. I almost died to this drug so I know what it's like. We are here to help if you want to quit. Please be safe and good luck.
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
It sure sounds like you are addicted to me . Its ruining your relationship .You get urges to do it . Do you want to stop?
Helpful - 0
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