THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Seriously, it always amazes me that people will take the time to help out a stranger. It's a shame you don't see as much of it in the "real" world.
Jrizzy303, I think I'm going to go with suboxone too. Time to try a new approach. Obviously, what I'm doing now isn't working.
Vicki595 - you're right, I freely admit that the very idea of even calling for info makes me break into a sweat. I DID find a doctor that will do suboxone, but had my husband make the actual appointment.
I just don't know how to turn off the guilt, embarrassment, etc., etc BUT, I gotta ask, do you really think CT is like having the runs for a week? I'm being completely serious! The first day isn't so bad, I can sleep. But by day two, my SKIN hurts! It literally feels like it's trying to get up crawl right off my body. Then there's the stomach pain. And backaches. And insomnia. Racing thoughts. Horrendous feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I could keep going but I'm scaring myself!!
Anyway, thank you ALL - (trdofbeingtrd thanks again to you too) Your time and advice are/were very much appreciated!
Hey Ginger--I can totally relate to your position right now. I walked in those shoes. I was a secret addict ( now I am an out of the closet addict ). I am a professional. A mother... blah blah blah ! I let fear get in my way for a very long time. My fear nearly killed me. I was just so afraid someone would find out and I would be so embarrassed and shamed. I would lose my pride and it would kill me. That thinking almost did me in !! It's addict thinking( of course ) and you need to change your thoughts around. I doubt you need rehab to detox. And,you're right! It's very expensive!! So,who needs to pay all that money
just to have diarrhea for a week??
Seriously,go to your doctor and ask for help. Stop being afraid. If someone finds out: what's going to happen? Nothing. The doctor will not turn you in. What's ironic here is that the doctor who sees your family members and most likely writes those rx's ,now needs to treat you for addiction. It's not funny though. Some people just don't get addicted. I can't imagine what that must be like...And,remember,if you think you're breaking the law then your family members are as well. It works both ways.
Yes,there are addictionologists. There are all kinds of people,groups,meetings etc..Recovery is lifelong. Not 21 days! I think you'd be better served seeking out a great big support network,taking some time off of work and just detoxing at home.
Ginger,addiction is not immoral. None of us asked to be addicts when we grew up. It happens. It's highly understood. Try not to discriminate against yourself. It's okay.
thanks trdofbeingtrd - I know what you mean, and it's a very logical question. I've never had a script. I have family that have extra's - which is how I got started. I also have to be able to quit WHILE these "extras" will continue to be available, which is what kills me everytime
I really buckle down and try to quit.
They are there and available and will probably always be there and available. I wish to god I never took one in the first place. what started out as here and there quickly turned into daily, and I can't villify the people who gave them to me because they obviously don't have a problem with them or they wouldn't be giving them to me.
I, on the other hand, can no longer feel ANYTHING but depression and agony without them, and the amount I need to "be myself" just gets higher and higher.
So, to answer the question, I haven't gone to or told my family doctor because of fear and embarrassment. It's not really an option anyway, because he sees everyone in my family, has for years, and it would get out, ethics or no.
THANK YOU FOR THE REPLY - i truly appreciate it. Also, I never even thought about a plain old doctor - are there individual doctors who will treat addiction? I don't think I could go to a regular doctor and hope for the best - I'd be afraid he'd turn me in or something...
Hey I dont know if stewart marchman is low income but I went there a couple times. I kicked the habit well somewhat 19 days clean encounting but I used suboxone. But if you do that its best get off it once your life is in more order. and as quickly as you can cause it is habit forming as well. This is just advice that led me into getting away from those devilish pills. Hang in there.
I understand you cannot go to detox or rehab, but what about talking to your doctor about your problem? If this was all done without prescription.........well, actually, I am not the person to give advice regarding this, it's a health issue and a addiction issue, so, how about if I just say thank you for posting this and wanting to break free.
There will be people to answer shortly, just give a little time, people are probably wondering how the NFC won........no, seriously, you will get good support and advice here.