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Question about Vicodin.. and safer pain relief alternatives.
I had back surgery about 10 months ago. Before the surgery I was taking Vicodin on and off. Then after back surgery I was on Tylenol #3 with Codine. Now the last few months been on narcotics.
I have back pain and started seeing a pain management doctor. He put me on all different types of drugs and I have had three steriod injections. I still take the Vicodin for pain and was up to six a day. (ON a really bad day).
Is it addicting to take it for medical use? I am feeling quilty when I take it now because of its addictive possiblity.
I stopped taking it and I am suffering the back pain. I use heating pads which help.
Guess my question is, is Vicodin ok for long term use or even medical use??
I dont like using it when I am not in pain.. Actually I dont like feeling so spacy.
I have back pain and started seeing a pain management doctor. He put me on all different types of drugs and I have had three steriod injections. I still take the Vicodin for pain and was up to six a day. (ON a really bad day).
Is it addicting to take it for medical use? I am feeling quilty when I take it now because of its addictive possiblity.
I stopped taking it and I am suffering the back pain. I use heating pads which help.
Guess my question is, is Vicodin ok for long term use or even medical use??
I dont like using it when I am not in pain.. Actually I dont like feeling so spacy.
don't ever worry about losing your place at the forum. The most disturbing thing for me is how much your ex reminds me of me at one time or another. With that combo of drugs, he must be really very high, lea. I've been an addict for thirty years and have a pretty impressive tolerance to this kind of stuff. But, your husband's really on the "breakfast of champions." Whew, methodone, oxy and percs at the same time? That's really industrial stength. And this is mostly coming from one doctor?
Dear Susan,
Wow,
you have gone through a lot. My heart goes out to you! It sounds like you have a good program going for you. Hang in there and be strong for yourself and your kids. You can't make anyone quit using until they are ready which makes it hard for their love ones. Thank you for listening to my story, and for being so warm. This website is truly a blessing, and everyone here is so kind!
Much Love:)
Jackie
Wow,
you have gone through a lot. My heart goes out to you! It sounds like you have a good program going for you. Hang in there and be strong for yourself and your kids. You can't make anyone quit using until they are ready which makes it hard for their love ones. Thank you for listening to my story, and for being so warm. This website is truly a blessing, and everyone here is so kind!
Much Love:)
Jackie
Dear Jackie, I'm so happy for you that your husband is doing so well. And you, 5 months, incredible. All the people here on this forum have given me something I never really had before, a connection with God. I've always believed in him, went to Church as a kid, I know my bible, but now I feel him inside me and aways with me. I have been to the worst hell I've ever seen in my life, and through the grace of God I'm making my way back. I watched a man I've loved for over 5 years become a mean, abusive, sick, and angry man. I would have given my life for him. His addiction to oxy's caught me by surprise. I knew he would do perc's recreationally and some other things I'm not quite sure about. 2 years ago a friend who has neuropathy gave him a couple dozen oxy's. Bingo! It took me awhile to see how bad it really was. At first I would notice my pain meds missing. Then I found out he was getting 30 20mg's and 60 Percocet 650's every 2 weeks. The friend I mentioned gave him over 100 oxy's a month, and I've heard he's bought them on the street. It started that he was always feeling sick, he would sleep and then be up all night pacing. I couldn't get him to go anywhere, he just wanted to watch TV. He wouldn't talk, and I started complaining. He nolonger had an interest in kissing, sex, nothing he couldn't even laugh at a joke. Then he got really sick, he couldn't find enough pills to even get up and go to work. He was home sick for over 3 months. Finally I took him to an addiction specialist just to talk. One hour later he's in the major hospital up here in their detox unit. They had to give him methadone and clonodine for the withdrawals. He went through 5 day's of hell, meetings all day. When he got out he promised things would change, that he'd stay clean. He had a great sponser, family support and friends. 2 weeks out he started getting mean, abusive, distant and that's when he shut himself locked in another room. Wouldn't talk to me or my kids. When I challenged him he said I was crazy he was clean. He called me the very worst names in front of my kids. This was 1 year ago in June. He was getting pills again. I have never seen someone so mean and angry. Every 2 weeks he was moving out, and every 2 weeks he was so sick with withdrawals until his refil. He left the first week of Dec. He was gone a week and came back, I guess he didn't want his parents to see. He was nice at first,sorry. Then he got really sick again. Missed the whole month of Feb. Almost lost his job, 1 more time he's fired. Once again as he put it I started bitching for him to get help. He got on methadone, 30 pills every 2 weeks. No program, sponser, nothing. You don't give an addict unlimited supplies of methadone to take home. It finally blew up mid March. One night he said he hated me, I was an ugly old woman. And he left. He's called once in awhile, he's come by. He left most of his stuff here. We can't talk a fight always happens. My kids are just now getting better, they have not seen or talked to him> He hurt my kids very badly. They loved him and he can't even call and thank them for his father's day card. If you read some of my posts, you can see the whole story. I have been going to Al-anon, I have a wonderful sponser. My kids start Monday to Al-ateen, they are now 10 and 11. They want to understand his addiction. I am now starting to heal and get some of my self esteeme back, what I allowed him to take away from me. I hope my kids will get theirs back. This disease almost destroyed us. We did love him. He lied to us, hurt us and now he's deserted us. I am so hurt and angry but in time I know I will heal. I look back and I cry because I see how he manipulated me and used me both financially and emotionally. I spent over $50,000 on him during his addiction to keep us afloat. Paid his child support, gave him a car. Paid all the bills, and I'll never see any of it. It's amazing we are making it. He left me with bills and a $1500 mortgage to swing on my own. His mother now can take care of him. Last week I found out the Dr gives him now both methadone, oxy's and perc's. Is this crazy. Thanks for listening. I've repeated this so many times, someone if not everyone's going to want to kick me off of this forum, and I wouldn't blame them. I hope soon or in a few months I won't even want to think of him anymore. He to me is now one of the lowest creatures God created. I know his time will come and he will eventually fall....Thank you Jackie, be good to yourself. You are now one of the family and we will love you....Susan
Dear Susan,
Here is my story...
In 1997 I got married to a man that has 3 kids, 15, 16 and 18. I have a daughter that is now 18.
I have taken pills on and off since I was 16, I am now 37. I went through being addicted to cocaine in the 80's to the point of even overdosing, and after I woke up I still wanted more. I was freebasing it, I think it took me about 5 years to get off of that and all street drugs.
Three months after I was married I found out my husband has Hep-C and needed a liver transplant. This was devastating news. Soon after that my husband started to get very sick. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. He stopped drinking and using in 1982.
1998 was a horrible year, my husband was on his way to death, a slow death. The Hep-C caused a lot of complications, he started to sleep 18 to 20 hr. a day, he began to aspirate all of his foods and liquids into his lungs which the doctor told me he would never eat real food again because he was drowning in it. They put a treak in for breathing and a J-tube in for feeding, and I was the one that had to be trained to feed and clean him up. This all went on for the next year, I was watching him die. I was told be the dr. that if he didn't get his new liver in a week he was going to die. Three days later he got a new liver and now he is doing very well, he is even eating real food. But through all of this I felt so sad and started to make numerous trips to many different doctors with one thing on my mind, to get anything to numb my emotional pain and it worked. I also went to the dentist and insisted I needed unnecessary root canals to get more pills. I had 3 unnecessary surgeries to get pills, and it all worked which blows my mind! Finally at the end of 1998 my family doctor refereed me to a pain management doctor which was a BIG mistake. My first visit I got a script for 240 vicodin, I thought I hit the jackpot! My pain issue was I had pain in my wrist so the pain management dr. sent me to a hand dr. He told me I would only see him for my pain meds once a month. He never really looked into why I really had pain. So now that I was getting so much from one dr. I decided I would not go to all of the other Drs. I got my script once a month, I went to the hand dr. and had surgery on my wrist. I complained that I still had the pain and the pain dr. increased my pain med. to a higher dose. I went to this dr. for over a year and he never questioned me, he just asked me how many I was taking a day, and wrote out the script. My tolerance got so high, I started to run out of my monthly supply half way into the month. The pain dr. kept his prescription pad in a drawer unattended which gave me the idea to take them so I could write my own. I was getting vicodin es from him but I wanted something stronger so I wrote my own scripts for 200 norco each time. So I was taking about 30 to 40 vicodin es and norco plus xanax, and ambiem per month. I was so addicted I couldn't function without them. Every month I would say to myself I am really going to try to only take what I am supposed to so I didn't run out. But I never did. I was so numb to everything in life and didn't care. I became so depressed about all of the lying, forgery and everything that I wanted to die. I knew I needed help but didn't know where to turn. I looked online and found this website, posted a cry for help and got a reply saying what I needed to do. I knew I needed to be taken out of my routine but still didn't know what to do. Finally I called Betty Ford and tried to get into there, but they don't have a medical detox so they refereed me to this place in Loma Linda called Behavioral Medicine Center not far from me, I am in Palm Springs CA. I went with my husband and checked myself in. The detox was HELL! It was one of the hardest things I every did. I stayed there for 2 months, now I am part of their Continuing Care program and I go 2 times a week. This past week when I was there I saw the nurse that checked me in and she said I was a mess. She said I really made her work when I was there and she would go home at night and pray for me because she didn't think I was going to make it. She said I am truly a miracle which made me feel really good about myself. Through this program I learned how to let go of past issues, self esteem, self worth and self love. I am truly grateful I did make it and now that I think back I can't believe all I did just to get that stupid drug. I am back at work now also. I still have bad days, but they are nothing compared to before. I see life is good and there is so much out there to be happy about.
I know I went on and on here, once I started I couldn't stop.
If I can reach others that are suffering from this horrible disease and help it makes my day! When you are in the fog of addiction you really don't see any hope. One thing I know for sure is you couldn't help me until I was ready.
I hope this has helped you to understand from an addicts view,
Warm Wishes,
Jackie
Here is my story...
In 1997 I got married to a man that has 3 kids, 15, 16 and 18. I have a daughter that is now 18.
I have taken pills on and off since I was 16, I am now 37. I went through being addicted to cocaine in the 80's to the point of even overdosing, and after I woke up I still wanted more. I was freebasing it, I think it took me about 5 years to get off of that and all street drugs.
Three months after I was married I found out my husband has Hep-C and needed a liver transplant. This was devastating news. Soon after that my husband started to get very sick. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. He stopped drinking and using in 1982.
1998 was a horrible year, my husband was on his way to death, a slow death. The Hep-C caused a lot of complications, he started to sleep 18 to 20 hr. a day, he began to aspirate all of his foods and liquids into his lungs which the doctor told me he would never eat real food again because he was drowning in it. They put a treak in for breathing and a J-tube in for feeding, and I was the one that had to be trained to feed and clean him up. This all went on for the next year, I was watching him die. I was told be the dr. that if he didn't get his new liver in a week he was going to die. Three days later he got a new liver and now he is doing very well, he is even eating real food. But through all of this I felt so sad and started to make numerous trips to many different doctors with one thing on my mind, to get anything to numb my emotional pain and it worked. I also went to the dentist and insisted I needed unnecessary root canals to get more pills. I had 3 unnecessary surgeries to get pills, and it all worked which blows my mind! Finally at the end of 1998 my family doctor refereed me to a pain management doctor which was a BIG mistake. My first visit I got a script for 240 vicodin, I thought I hit the jackpot! My pain issue was I had pain in my wrist so the pain management dr. sent me to a hand dr. He told me I would only see him for my pain meds once a month. He never really looked into why I really had pain. So now that I was getting so much from one dr. I decided I would not go to all of the other Drs. I got my script once a month, I went to the hand dr. and had surgery on my wrist. I complained that I still had the pain and the pain dr. increased my pain med. to a higher dose. I went to this dr. for over a year and he never questioned me, he just asked me how many I was taking a day, and wrote out the script. My tolerance got so high, I started to run out of my monthly supply half way into the month. The pain dr. kept his prescription pad in a drawer unattended which gave me the idea to take them so I could write my own. I was getting vicodin es from him but I wanted something stronger so I wrote my own scripts for 200 norco each time. So I was taking about 30 to 40 vicodin es and norco plus xanax, and ambiem per month. I was so addicted I couldn't function without them. Every month I would say to myself I am really going to try to only take what I am supposed to so I didn't run out. But I never did. I was so numb to everything in life and didn't care. I became so depressed about all of the lying, forgery and everything that I wanted to die. I knew I needed help but didn't know where to turn. I looked online and found this website, posted a cry for help and got a reply saying what I needed to do. I knew I needed to be taken out of my routine but still didn't know what to do. Finally I called Betty Ford and tried to get into there, but they don't have a medical detox so they refereed me to this place in Loma Linda called Behavioral Medicine Center not far from me, I am in Palm Springs CA. I went with my husband and checked myself in. The detox was HELL! It was one of the hardest things I every did. I stayed there for 2 months, now I am part of their Continuing Care program and I go 2 times a week. This past week when I was there I saw the nurse that checked me in and she said I was a mess. She said I really made her work when I was there and she would go home at night and pray for me because she didn't think I was going to make it. She said I am truly a miracle which made me feel really good about myself. Through this program I learned how to let go of past issues, self esteem, self worth and self love. I am truly grateful I did make it and now that I think back I can't believe all I did just to get that stupid drug. I am back at work now also. I still have bad days, but they are nothing compared to before. I see life is good and there is so much out there to be happy about.
I know I went on and on here, once I started I couldn't stop.
If I can reach others that are suffering from this horrible disease and help it makes my day! When you are in the fog of addiction you really don't see any hope. One thing I know for sure is you couldn't help me until I was ready.
I hope this has helped you to understand from an addicts view,
Warm Wishes,
Jackie
He's been gone for almost 4 months. So I don't have to watch it, just hear about it. 2 years of watching the withdrawals the obsession with oxy's was awful. I gave him a choice....rehab, program, sponser or you need to go. He chose to go after almost 6 years. My kids are just now adjusting, they are hurt and feel deserted. They have not seen or heard from him. He has come by and called when they were at school. Usually to give me a hard time or ask me for pills, patches. The morning after he left when the kids came home after being at their dad's I noticed my son's bottle of Tussinex was just about empty. It had been full the night before because my son had had 1 tsp. Things never change. You are to be so proud of yourself, 5 months clean, thats wonderful! Please tell me your story. You said that addicts are good liars and I've heard they are good manipulators. The more knowledge I get, the better my understanding. I realize I was so blind and naive about everything. When I look back I'm not sure what was real and true and what wasn't. God has blessed you, and now you're here to help other's. You didn't just go on with your life. You reached out to other's who need you, need your strength, need your experience. You must be a wonderful being. Peace and happiness to you, and thank you......Susan Lea
Thank you for the kind words,
I know wishing for "real" pain sounds crazy, but addicts wish for the weirdest things under the influence. Now that I am clean and have been for almost 5 months I think back to when I was taking pills, lying to all of the doctors and so on, I can't believe I did all of that. Even risking my freedom writing my own scripts, thinking about all of this makes me see this addiction takes you to your lowest point. I am sorry your friend never stopped using. I know it must be hard to watch someone continue to go through this.
Hang in there:)
Jackie
I know wishing for "real" pain sounds crazy, but addicts wish for the weirdest things under the influence. Now that I am clean and have been for almost 5 months I think back to when I was taking pills, lying to all of the doctors and so on, I can't believe I did all of that. Even risking my freedom writing my own scripts, thinking about all of this makes me see this addiction takes you to your lowest point. I am sorry your friend never stopped using. I know it must be hard to watch someone continue to go through this.
Hang in there:)
Jackie
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