Avatar universal

Question for Dr. Steve

Dr. Steve, I am curious about your reaction to some of the posts.  I accept that you didn't like our responses to Danielcc.  I don't agree but I can see it became very negative.  But as someone pointed out, it was a defensive posture and he was without a doubt engaging in a personal attack against a very well liked and respected member.   I also see you deleted my thread on combining codeine with valium which I admit was getting a little frivilous toward the end.  But it was a legitimate question and I got a useful answer and it turned out, the pain moderated and I didn't need to do it anyway.  But if by "tone" you're referring to the way we "glorify" our addiction, I don't get it.  I attended AA meetings several times a week for years and I heard these same kinds of stories and comments and people laughing at themselves and most were people with significant sobriety.  Joking about addiction seems to me to be part of the recovery process.  I remember back in the day,  I went to an Elton John concert.  We were all enjoying ourselves until he sang "Pretty Ballerina."  Halfway through the song, a tall thin pretty girl felt compelled by whatever chemicals were coursing through her bloodstream to go into the aisle of the auditorium and perform perfect pirouettes to everyone's delight.  Until the Rent A Cops converged on her and clubbed her to the floor. That's what this is feeling like. I would respectfully ask that you clarify to the board what it is you're objecting to.  Most boards have guidelines as to what can and can't be posted.  Maybe, that's all that's needed.
61 Responses
Avatar universal
Dr. Steve,

I agree that maybe posting some guidelines would be of benefit. But being able to be open and honest is what helps heal us. People here have a correlation between them. We count on the directness and candidness when we ask for advise. The support we receive from our fellow addicts is what keeps us up and able to keep a positive outlook that will we find sobriety. If we relapse, it is here, on this forum that we can find others who will encourage us into making another attempt. They cheer us on and raise our spirits when we are down and feeling like failures. They inspire us with their stories. They educate us with their knowledge. When we are at our wits ends there are people here, not just people but survivors who are loving, compassionate people that help us make sense of it all. And when they don't have the answers, they don't pretend to. But they are still there in our corner, sticking by our side until the answer or possible solution comes alone.

As I have written in a post before, it is the type of persons on this forum that I wish I had in my everyday life. I wish they were my neighbors, my coworkers, my brothers and sisters.  They are so giving. Giving of their time, of their praises, of their advise. And they don't sugar coat everything, they say what needs to be said. They say what we need to hear.
To take this away Dr. Steve would serve what purpose? If you felt that some of the posts to Danielcc/Doc Dan were inappropriate then maybe you should look at the unbefitting posts that Doc Dan has initiated. Numerous Times! No one hit the "ground running" towards Danielcc when he starting posting his spiteful comments. He was asked politely to ease up, to leave, to stop attacking etc. He was even ignored. But continued until people responded and started to show they were fed up. If you read through the posts, all of them, you would see the pattern.

I don't believe anyone on this forum was looking to be malicious towards Danielcc or anyone else on this forum. Many have tried to offer help and make some peace with him. However the attempts were vain and ineffective. So does everyone on this forum have to suffer because of the obstinate and opposing ways of one, being Danielcc?

Dr. Steve, we are just looking for a little corner of the world where we can come together. Where we can share and heal and hurt and laugh and cry. All without being judge. Where we can take the advise, aid and compassion from those offering it. And in return we can hopefully facilitate the road for others who need a helping hand.  

Dr. Steve, if you and/or the board who monitors this forum where to take that away from us, what purpose would that serve? I know for certain how detrimental it would be! Read the posts here. This forum is a life line to so many.

In closing may I ask that is you were offended by anything I have said here I would hope you do not hold it against anyone else on this forum. My ID is Shea. And if you feel anything I have said here is a cause of action I would hope you take it against me by suspending my privilege to post and do not penalize this forum for my comments. I truly hope you would not desist this forum in which such charitable and benevolent people can come together and unify.

With all sincerity,

Avatar universal
With all due respect...

Avatar universal
Dr. Steve,
This forum gave me my life back.  I read it for months and months thinking I was not an addict, and after reading my story through the words of others countless times, I came out of denial and admitted I was an addict. I began to post. I was embraced and accepted and mentored by the posters here. When I was ready to stop taking my pain medication, the people here held my virtual hand while I endured the discomfort of withdrawals.  This place and the people on it are angels.

I ask you to please post guidelines for what is acceptable to post and what is not, so people can have that knowledge, rather than be surprised when posts are removed.

Avatar universal
Yep, here we go again! Every other Sunday, posts disappear.
Avatar universal
Not that either Dr Steve or "Dr" Dan is going to read this, but if I have to sound like another doctrinaire "just say no" robot and parrot the worthless **** both of these people put out, then let Dr ******* shut the forum down. He is a hypocrite and frankly, has done a **** job as the "professional moderator" of the forum.

Like them or not, my posts have always been honest. Is that what these guys can't take? Are they living in a fantasy world where every addict crawls to them in tears and says, "Tell me how to live my life. After all, you're SO wise and I'm just another dumbshit with a computer."

I say we all exchange e-mail addresses soon and then, perhaps, they can have an addiction forum consisting of Doc Dan and Doc Steve doing hi-fives in print. Good riddance to both of them.

And they call it "Med Help!" Just who have these two ever helped on this forum?
Avatar universal
by the way, as I've posted before, my e-mail address is


and if Dr. Pointless wants to ban me from posting here because of my last post, I'd consider it an honor. I take none of it back and only wish I could have told them what I really think.

Love to all my FRIENDS (just in case this is my final post),

Avatar universal
Thomas, you have absolutely helped me more than any doctor ever has.  I can never thank you or the other wonderful people on here enough. You're real. I put up a web page with email addresses on it: http://www.mdo.net/users/kstuebin/aemail.html.  I will add yours to it.  Maybe we can find a new home.
Avatar universal
I'm not even sure why I am even posting this as you will not deem it important enough to read and delete it as well as the others,,thinking that it is just another uneducated, frivilous post...so be it...but it will make me feel better to say what I feel I need to say....I came to this forum a year ago in December, beaten and ready to curl up and die...and ready to start to find the first drug that came along to numb my pain...I was able to keep my head above water for a few reasons and this forum being one of them...through all of my pain and grief never once did anyone here suggest that I "use" to numb myself and as much as I have searched the archives and I have found maybe 2 , 3 posts from "unknown" people glorifying or trying to sell drugs and these people were never heard from again.....Have you ever had an addiction problem? If you did then you would know that the reason most of us started using was the fact that we like the way the drugs made us feel....this we cannot deny...or we would have never wound up in the position we were in.....to go back to where I was many years ago is what keeps me going now,,,,and to be able to share the experiences, strengths and the hopes of the other struggling people is what keeps this forum going,, these people including the member that Doc Dan for some reason seems to be so determined to bash is one of the main reasons that alot of us keep coming back,,his honesty, his compassion and every other asset he displays on and off this board are so genuine...as with severl other key people on this board...So both doc's  please, enlighten me,,what is meant my the Tone of the forum?  On this board,,right today I have read nothing but comments to people regarding many things and all of them are written with the best of intentions,,,and yes,,,we do get carried away at times,,,,ummmmmmmmm   it's called fun,,,something we are taught to do in recovery,,laugh, have fun, live life clean and sober not SOMBER  several months back when there was alot of trouble with threats etc. on this board,,,posting and lying, people pretending to be someone they were not the only thing that was said or done was that particular poster was banned....no threats to shut down the board...if you feel the need to shut down this forum then so be it,,,because of one man who feels that we are not doing thing the right way because they are not his way, with the attitudes of the people that consider themselves the professionals that run this board..you won't have to shut this forum down..no one will want to even be a part of it......
Avatar universal
Well, I havent been comeing to this board for very long,
but clearly there are a lot of interesting people who know a lot more about drugs, and addiction than I do.

After comeing here, and reading about various subjects, I have learnt alot about drugs,I have always recieved good answers from my post's and am learning much ! and as they say..."knowledge is power"

Everyone keep up the good work !!!!

- Peace Out !
Avatar universal
live every day as if it your last, post every post as the same!
my hat's off to you and many others at this cyber-place

need an angel on my shoulder!
Avatar universal
Tried to get some mail to you but it kept coming back   How is the other half of you    did she get back?  Here is your angel:  /0\   and a hug to go with the angel  ((((hug))))   love cin
Avatar universal
Steve.....I don't really feel like calling you dr. today. The people in the forum are alot like the US. On 9-11 terrorist's tried to knock the United States down. Instead the country is stronger than ever. The same theory applies here. You might try to knock us down, but we will stand strong. If you really moniter the forum like you say you do (instead of those generic answers you give) then you would have to be blind to not see the close knit group we have become. With the exception of danielcc who only posted that question so he could stir up trouble. Again..if you monitered the forum, you would know that also. As far as him saying that some of us "glorify drug use" that's pure manure. SOme of us are clean, some are still using and some are trying to get clean....but we all have one thing in common. The thing that brought us to this forum. Our fondness for opiates,alcohol,pot or whatever. We all realize we have an addiction.....and we may joke about it. Haven't you ever heard a group of overweight women wishing they could have a cheese cake?
Heaven forbid! They should be hung by their toes! I have an addiction to hydrocodone. I'm not proud of it and there is no one in my life I can talk to about it except for the people here.
If I didn't have my forum friends I would be in tears most of the day...that's how I spent my time before I found friends like Thomas, WW,jbear Cindi,JB, Skipper, kstuebin,milo...the list goes on and on. Too many to name. So if you want to close the forum just because danielcc knew how to push your buttons and get a reaction,you'll be turning your back on several wonderful people in order to keep one jerk happy. So, I hope you and danilecc have several warm fuzzy conversations......every 3 weeks when you decide to show up.
As for me.....forum or no forum....I still have my friends.
Avatar universal
i'm proud to be listed among anyone who had made a difference to
you or anyone in this cyber-place

need ever angel on this forum
Avatar universal
of all the different ways i have wanted to really lay it on Dr. Steve and dan  (he has not earned the right to be called doc at all  not even an MD or DO behind his name to back him up) you have summed it up really well....straight and to the point....this forum is a group of angels,,,look at who we have here...the men,,,,,,WIZ, Thomas, JB, Skipper, and the rest..,these guys have been around the block a few good times...they are busy people with jobs and lives etc. and yet still have it in them to be here for us..not at all what you would expect from a bunch of hardcore dope feind junkies huh  DR. Steve....?  and the women here on this forum....in the middle of their hectic lives,,kids jobs, etc,,they still take the time and come here to post and be here for us to cry with, share with and even laugh with  GOD FORBID WE SHOULD LAUGH...let's face it...alot of women DO NOT GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER>> we even have our very own little witch running around here and a wizard and skipper as well,,, LOL  this group of females is an exceptional group...it has been since I started here...no catty comments...no cat fights..it seems as though we all know each other like neighbors all know each other....we are always here for each other  and it will go on without the forum,,,,I can't let it upset me....you said it all when you said we have friends here..and that is what's important......love ya   cin
Avatar universal
I love you guys. Each and every one of you.

that's all i needed to say.

lots of love,
WW (Tara)
Avatar universal
WOW, how can anyone follow these posts.......I'm with WW....I LOVE all of you here and am honored to be included with all of the above "Special Angels".
For once the Wiz is speechless.........
Power & Magick 2 U ALL and Know this my friends.....No matter what happens, we shall each other ALWAYS,
Avatar universal
I'm speachless, too!  In the 18 months I've been coming here, I've never experienced what is happening now.  I love all of you as dear friends.

Avatar universal
I just came back from a hideous business trip and caught up on all the controversy! I have been shy and hesitant about posting in the past, but should this site be shut down I must let you all know how dear you are all to me. Last fall my life looked pretty grim. I was staying clean but my sweetie had been through hell, one surgery that failed and no answers forthcoming from the medical community. He was on a lot pain medication and clearly still miserable. We met in AA many years ago and subequently got involved in NA. Both of us had been clean for quite some time when all this pain and medical drama occured in his life. Yeah I'm truly a codependent but it tore me up to see him in so much pain and feeling alienated from people in NA due to his use of narcotics for pain management. I too felt uncomfortable there with all the well meaning ( I guess) advice given about how to deal with him and his narcotic use. Anyway, feeling miserable and alone one night, I surfed the web in an idle sort of way for addiction sites and stumbled across this one. Soon, I was reading every day, and amazed by the grace, honesty, compassion and humor I found here. This summer, he had his second surgery, ( successful so far) but the pain unfortunately is still there along with the narcotics. At this point I was talking to him ( Skipper) daily about the forum, talking about the people on it, urging him to at least log on and look! He just looked at me the way you look at people who talk about the people on "All My Children" like they are real. It was like, it's the internet babe, get a life. Well, hell, who do I have to fight for computer time now.....? Anyway I am so grateful that you all have been there.
Avatar universal
I love you all, too. I include your struggles in my prayers and I celebrate your triumphs with you. Steve can say what he likes about tone and ignore the majority here- the fact is that I and many others would still be junkies were it not for the PEOPLE here at this forum...NOT the forum itself- the people here.

I would write more, but I am hard at work on our new net home, which, if I do say so myself, kicks this forum's tushie! We'll be able to keep our forum safe because (any volunteers?) a team of moderators (can we think of a better term than that? sounds sooo authoritative) will have the ability to ban trouble makers or people like Dan who do nothing but pick fights, and the forum also has several different categories- general discussion (which is where most of us will hang out most, I'm sure), withdrawal help, dealing with chronic pain, success stories, plus a few others. If Thomas is game for it I'd like for one section to be his to moderate and can be about the famous recipe and its patrons, plus all the other great advice he has to dispense. I hope to finish the programming by wednesday night...hopefully by then my ANGEL GIRL ksteubin will have a number of email addresses and we'll be able to start with a bang!
Every last one of you stand tall and proud...to quote a bubblegummy pop song I heard in college- "I get knocked down, but I get up again...you're never gonna keep ME down.."

Again, I love you guys...I am so proud to know all of you.
Avatar universal
I really at a loss for the right words. I've become so fond of all of you and I don't want to lose you. I like Beth's idea but what will happen to others that come  here and need you. I think Dr. Steve has just performed an act of terrorism on us. And now we're waiting for the other shoe to fall. As if we haven't had enough of that **** since 9-11-01. Just when you think it's safe.....Doc Dan....As you can see there's more than one way to skin a catfish....There's more than one way to get clean...there's more than one way to keep a family together..I know my sayings can be corny but they have a basis in truth.And I don't beleive the truth resides in you.
Avatar universal
Count me in..even if this forum doesn't close, I'd love to participate in one you create for us as well. I'd even be willing to help "moderate" or contribute somehow..heck, I'm a mental health professional.

My main concern though, is for those out there who read, and rely on us for help, but never post.  

So, this is a message to those of you out there who, like I used to be, are silent members. Those of you who choose not to post but take inspiration and growth from the family here.  I don't want you guys left out in the cold. If this forum doesn't close, I'll still post here as well, but...I'd like for there to be a way for our silent members to remain part of our family.

Send kstuebin your email, even if you'd rather ask for it to remain private, and not posted on the web. Or send me your email and I promise to keep it private and send you a private email telling you the url. Or something. I just don't want our silent members to loose the magickal forum we have here.

There is a lot of good done here among us, and we've got no idea how many people participate from afar.
I will tell you though, I think it is more than we imagine. The day that I posted my url, I got 250 hits on my web site! LOL The most I tend to get on an average day is 10. So clearly a lot of people read this site.

So...to those of you who never post, please know that though I don't know your names, I love you anyway, and don't want to loose you guys either.

Avatar universal
I was so speechless I left out a word in my parting thoughts above......What I tried to say was this: "No matter what happens, we shall FIND each other ALWAYS"..........
Power & Magick 2 US.....Peace & Light on US ALL,
Love Wiz
Avatar universal
You guys know exactly how I feel,,,,I have said it loud and clear and many times....you are all the best...and we will always be together...how does that song go,,we go together like Rama lama lama ka dingity ding da ****....oopss I forgot  no fun.............you all get the hint,,,and to my Wiz,,,,you have never been speechless.. LOL ....are you ok?   LOL   each and everyone of you have touched me...deeply  and gave me back my life  literally........I love you all and we WILL meet back here tomorrow.....love cin
Avatar universal
I'm game, to be sure. Anything to get rid of Dr.Sanctimony and his pet homunculus, Dan the Hateful. Can you imagine being him? He's the kind of personality that would have gleefully helped Hitler exterminate the Jews with a total sense of self-righteousness. He is a disgrace as a drug councelor. He proves that every times he posts. To hate your fellow addicts and want to exact a sort of revenge by proxy for your own miserable life would be worthy of compassion if it weren't so clearly malevolent in intent.

I also think Dan is a truly petty human being, since his attacks on me are obviously motivated by the fact that he sees I have friends on the forum who ask me for advice and he has none. Apparently recovery doesn't include becoming an adult.
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