Question for those with lots of clean time

[moonshyne777]

When did it really get better for you? I suffered through the worst physical wd's but that paled in comparison to the mental crap. All the horrible memories from my past came back to haunt me and although I'm going to see the doc on Monday for an antidepressant I just want to know how long it took until you felt better mentally. I know everyone is different but I'm hoping to get an idea. Next week I'm also going to start na or aa meetings. I've heard aa is better so I might go that route even though I've never had an alcohol problem. I just need some hope. My relationship is falling apart, I'm the soon to be single mom of a one and two year old and I feel so lost right now.

[MistBrown]

Man do we all know what your feeling. It's that hardest part of coming off anything that made you numb. Now, your having to use your very own coping mechanism that you were using long before you became dependent on anything. One thing that helped me during the first few months was yoga and meditation. Mindfullness is the way of just living and enjoying the moment. I learned that I can't change the past, it's done, and I have no control over the future, but I can take in and enjoy what I have right now. Hang in there and give your antidepressant a good two weeks.

[avisg]

Aftercare is the key whether it be meetings or a therapist even a Church pastor .Just have a good solid support system .

[worried878]

The mental aspect of this whole thing almost did me in...I get sick alot anyway so used to feeling like crud physically a few times a year//guess being around sick peeps all the time can get u sick!  the mental part of this took me completely by surprise..I literally had no idea it went on past the physical part..HOLY COW!  Had I known about this ..would i have done it???? dunno and we r where we r..we just gotta move forward
The onslaught of feelings after stopping??? Ouch,...felt it big time...cried and even told my mom about my problem,,.,huge mistake now that i look back..but again..what is done is done...for me i think i used the pills to keep from feeling anything negative...ie..bad thought then just pop a pill..a form of escape//a way of not coping....doesnt work for long and in the end i didnt fel anything positve either..felt nuttin at all cept a craving to keep taking pills...perhpas when i stopped the numbing process...the escape and forced myself to feel..to think without pills..it was a bit of a shock to my brain as i had been escaping so long...dunno...but lots of times the things u r thinking of now...the sad memories, losses, things u coulda done but didnt do... could be ur triggers..and knowing ur triggers can help tremendously
For me mentally i felt much better in 3 mths...exrcise and the thomas recipe hlped//and aftercare on top//without aftercare we can wither and relapse....now at over 2 years clean i feel normal again..whatever normal is..and have been feeling that way for a long time now..comes a time//perhaps  a month, perhaps 3 months,  perhaps 6 months..when ur addiction is not on the front pqage of ur life anymore..it drifts into the background///but we can never forget it is there

Glad u r doing this...keep us posted and hang tight

[Beccabeccalynn]

Moon, go to meetings get a good base for support I see a counclor also but that it only for so long. Meetings are the key, lots and lots of them
Becca

[Radiostar55]

Moon, It took be 30 days to fell better.  That and anti-dep have RELLY helped  It takes 2 to 4 weeks start working but its worth it  Hang in there!!   53 days clean for me!

G

[moonshyne777]

What supplements do you take? I do vitamins but that's about it. Can you recommend some stuff?

[moonshyne777]

I think i would do better one on one as well. I think I would get more help that way. Or maybe I could do counselling and na. I might make some calls on Monday and find a good therapist. I was just worried about the confidentiality thing but everyone seems to be saying the same thing that they will not say anything. I know I need help to get and stay clean so the sooner I line it up the better. And hopefully in 6 to 9 months I will be a much happier person. I have a feeling the coming year is going to bring a lot of changes. Much needed changes. My life and the way I've been living it hasn't been what I planned for myself and kids. I'm in a crappy relationship and all the crap from past and present is weighing heavy on my heart. Things need to change, lifes too short to live it unhappy. I want to make the changes now so my kids have a happy, clean mother in the future.

[CML64]

It took me about 6-9 months to feel normal again, although I began drinking at 13 , so I should probably call it my "new" self instead of "normal". I finally got sober because I didn't like my normal.
I started with AA, but like avisg I do better 1 to 1. I got an excellent recomendation from my couselor at the college I was attending, and with that, and family support it has been 16 years. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Having faith in yourself can be tough at first, but you had the strength to stop in the first place, and you can build on that minute by minute, day by day and eventually month by month.

Psychiatric/Psychologic records fall under doctor/patient confidentialy laws. Counselors follow those same principles.

Your children will thank you for taking this very hard, but very worth it journey.

Christine

[avisg]

NO they can not do that unless you are putting you children immediate serous  danger which you are not .I called our local drug rehab place and asked them for recommendations they people that they recommended were farther away then I wanted to go but one of the ladies referred me to my therapist it was a perfect match .I like her I like her alot because she is a women and can relate to some of the stress ladies have that differs from the  men's .The important part is you find something that is a good fit for you .

[moonshyne777]

So they cannot call childrens services and tell them you are a recovering addict? That's what I'm afraid of. NA at least is anonymous. Seeing a counsellor I would love to do, I'm just afraid that they could cause problems for me. I know my fears are probably just that but I can't help how I feel. How would I go about finding an addictions counsellor anyways?

[avisg]

Also eating healthy taking supplements and exercise have really helped my recovery immensely

[avisg]

Yes they don't tell anyone anything. I see a therapist that specializes in addiction we talk about everything but she is a recovering addict it helps alot to talk to someone that has been in my shoes .I tend to work threw things better one on one .If I were to do anything else it would be na but this was just a good fit and with the long hours I work and the forum I am limited on time my therapists office is about 4 mins from home it works out perfect.

[10356]

I can comment on this one.. I went to counseling for molestation and rape as a child and for facing my addictions.. My counselor would not even speak to my husband nor allow him to participate in My counseling... it is confidential and personal.. It is your choice who you want to open up to.. I found living with my pain in secret was so much harder to bare but once I stepped up and spoke of my pain I found I could bare it.. it is up to you whom you want to know but I found through time that sharing did not hurt as much as keeping it inside..

[moonshyne777]

Thank you Avis :) And congrats on those 900+ days clean. What did you do for aftercare Avis? Like I said, I'm going the na/aa route but wonder if I should also get some kind of counselling. I'm just worried about seeing a counsellor though. The confidentiality laws are very vague and because I have kids I worry some counsellor could cause problems for me if I admit I had a problem with pills. Maybe just sticking with na or aa would be best. What do you think?  

[GA Guy]

My physical well being felt normal at 9 months. I still fight with the mental even with aftercare.

[avisg]

Well I have nine hundred and seven days clean the first six months were over all the hardest after that it got better all of the time .After a while you stop counting I have to go look now to see how many days but I always remember that it is a day by day thing and I will always get aftercare without it I would not have remained clean this long.

[moonshyne777]

Thanks ga guy and 10356, I know aftercare will be the key, that and a good antidepressant , lol. How much time passed until you felt yourself again?  

[10356]

I have over a year clean.. my best defense against depression was my attitude.. I know we are all different and we all take different approaches but everyday I woke up clean was a good day.. the guilt I felt I had to let go.. it was robbing myself and my family of myself.. if we were to go into a war thinking the worst the worst will happen.. go in with the attitude that you are capable and willing to do what needs to be done and you will find yourself in a better place.. open communication is key.. aftercare is a great way to get support and to prove to those that are personal to you that you are trying.. in time who we were when our spouses met us comes back and they can not help but to recognize this.. if you are truly committed those around you will hear it and see it.. I wish you well.. lesa

[TroubledDude]

Awesome question. I don't know but hopefully someone else can answer this. I know exactly what you're talking about with the flooding of old memories coming back, it is the w/d symptom that I hate the most.

[GA Guy]

You'll get steadily better after your start aftercare. Until then, it's just white knuckle sobriety AA and NA helps clear up the wreckage of your past. With that comes mental healing.