Aa
Questioning my ability and overwhelmed
So I'm at 1 mg and feeling w/d and I'm super depressed. It seems like lately everything that can go wrong has and I'm just so sick of it. I'm tired of not feeling that great and I still have a ways to go yet. I'm just overwhelmed and frustrated. I have muscle relaxers I have been thinking about taken I think they are robaxin or methocambal but i dont know if I can take them with subs or if its a good idea. I'm just miserable. I'm so achy, stomach, cramps, tired, depressed, anxious, restless body, diarrhea and I'm still at 1 mg :( what is the jump going to be like? So depressed.........
Update: This long post seemed like a good idea at the time. So like flushing pills down the toilet, I am going to press "Post A Comment" before I delete it. Pardon any poor writing, grammar errors and misspellings. If I check the comment for those things I will delete it. OK, I'm pressing the button... now.
____________________
Depression is a symptom of the WD process. It is one of the few WD symptoms that can't be remedied by figuratively pushing a button. It hits most people during the WD process, and it hits hard, like running into a wall face first.
Take me for instance. I'm a pretty tough guy. Until age six I was in an orphanage, I didn't really have any parents to speak of. And as you might suspect, there was plenty of sex abuse because orphans and fosters are easy prey.
Then there was the physical abuse I endured for the ten years I lived with my adopted folks (the usual stuff, beatings with belts, fists and hard rubber shoe heels.)
After all that I had my share of injuries over time, personal tragedies (some self-inflicted), and I am a combat vet.
Fast forward many years to last January. I ran out of Vicodin pills four days before "refill day." I felt and looked like the accidental cold turkey I was, sitting alone gobbling nonsense to anyone who dared called me to chit chat. But hey man, I was the man, dealing with all the sheet WD throws at us.
I remember when the depression ghoul came for me. I was minding my own business, my WD look and regalia were in order (unshaven, unkempt hair, my mouth surely smelling like a rat holed up in there and died, about two months ago, barefoot in a robe, at 2:00 p.m.. I was busy sitting at the computer desk, staring into the great black abyss - better known as the Internet).
But I was doing it, being a man far more than in name only. Then things went BLAM!!! SOCK!!! POW!!! depression assaulted me like a mugger in an alley working my head over with a large, rotting, slimy, stinky tuna.
I started to cry. The dogs looked at me and thought WTF?! My initial reaction was "I gotta reach out for help. I need to talk to a friend, confess my sins, and get some support."
I started looking over my speed dial (like others, if you are in my speed dial you are a top friend. After all, there's room for only 8 one-touch speed dial numbers).
I ended up waiting a few minutes, that turned into an hour, then two hours, and then it became too late to call, something like 1:00 am. (While there are people I can call at 1:00 am - people I have known for 20 to 30 years - I was not going to use my late call credits to confess I'm a Vicodin addict.)
Like everything related to withdrawals, I had read that the depression passes over time and one's positive attitude comes back. In other words, the depression symptom passes.
Things did get better, then I determined that I was going to do a slow taper rather than put myself through the difficulties WD manifests.
Since Feb. 1 I have reduced intake to four 10/325 Vicodin daily (down from 10 to 15 daily). I endeavor to have positive thoughts and remain upbeat. Key to this is I don't let the little things get me down (nor do I use life's frictions and controversies as an excuse to pop some pills).
You said: "It seems like lately everything that can go wrong has..." Yeah, OK, no one disputes that. But just like there's never an ideal time for your car engine to conk out (that usually happens when you are in the middle of rush hour traffic) there's not an ideal time to go through withdrawals.
During WD life around us continues. While we suffer: checks bounce, strangers hassle us, store clerks are rude, friends and family get mad at us, someone steals the iPhone, and AT&T says it will express-mail a replacement iPhone... for $550.
Adding to the nightmare you realize that few people, if any, can relate to what we are going through. We conclude this is a mean world and we truly are alone. And of course, if you have pets, one or all of them decide that day three or four into withdrawals that that is the best time to get sick and require a $800 trip to the vet.
All I can guarantee you is that things will get better. In life they always do. As I like to tell people who are upset about having a lousy Christmas, I say "Hey look, we have lots of Christmas holidays in a lifetime. We are fortunate if three or four are memorable and picture perfect. What about the miserable ones? That's just the way it goes. We soldier on and think positive thoughts about next year."
So hang in there. You will feel better as the days tick by. Think about your achievements and the good things you have done in life. Lacking in good deeds are you now? Well, think about the contributions you will make to society after you complete this process. Come up with a plan and stick to it. (For example, offer some of your time to volunteer at a local charity. Maybe even lend a hand at an abuse clinic that is always in need of volunteers to help out.)
Bonus Tip: When I get depressed it is usually because I am thinking about something negative that has happened in my past or dwelling on the missteps or failures. If I sense that is the reason for my depression, I stomp out those thoughts by thinking of all the good I've done, or I recall the fortuitous events.
Another technique that works is to stop thinking, put your brain on hold and watch a movie or videos on your computer. In other words, give it a rest. Get distracted and send your thought processes on a vacation.
*end... pep talk*
____________________
Depression is a symptom of the WD process. It is one of the few WD symptoms that can't be remedied by figuratively pushing a button. It hits most people during the WD process, and it hits hard, like running into a wall face first.
Take me for instance. I'm a pretty tough guy. Until age six I was in an orphanage, I didn't really have any parents to speak of. And as you might suspect, there was plenty of sex abuse because orphans and fosters are easy prey.
Then there was the physical abuse I endured for the ten years I lived with my adopted folks (the usual stuff, beatings with belts, fists and hard rubber shoe heels.)
After all that I had my share of injuries over time, personal tragedies (some self-inflicted), and I am a combat vet.
Fast forward many years to last January. I ran out of Vicodin pills four days before "refill day." I felt and looked like the accidental cold turkey I was, sitting alone gobbling nonsense to anyone who dared called me to chit chat. But hey man, I was the man, dealing with all the sheet WD throws at us.
I remember when the depression ghoul came for me. I was minding my own business, my WD look and regalia were in order (unshaven, unkempt hair, my mouth surely smelling like a rat holed up in there and died, about two months ago, barefoot in a robe, at 2:00 p.m.. I was busy sitting at the computer desk, staring into the great black abyss - better known as the Internet).
But I was doing it, being a man far more than in name only. Then things went BLAM!!! SOCK!!! POW!!! depression assaulted me like a mugger in an alley working my head over with a large, rotting, slimy, stinky tuna.
I started to cry. The dogs looked at me and thought WTF?! My initial reaction was "I gotta reach out for help. I need to talk to a friend, confess my sins, and get some support."
I started looking over my speed dial (like others, if you are in my speed dial you are a top friend. After all, there's room for only 8 one-touch speed dial numbers).
I ended up waiting a few minutes, that turned into an hour, then two hours, and then it became too late to call, something like 1:00 am. (While there are people I can call at 1:00 am - people I have known for 20 to 30 years - I was not going to use my late call credits to confess I'm a Vicodin addict.)
Like everything related to withdrawals, I had read that the depression passes over time and one's positive attitude comes back. In other words, the depression symptom passes.
Things did get better, then I determined that I was going to do a slow taper rather than put myself through the difficulties WD manifests.
Since Feb. 1 I have reduced intake to four 10/325 Vicodin daily (down from 10 to 15 daily). I endeavor to have positive thoughts and remain upbeat. Key to this is I don't let the little things get me down (nor do I use life's frictions and controversies as an excuse to pop some pills).
You said: "It seems like lately everything that can go wrong has..." Yeah, OK, no one disputes that. But just like there's never an ideal time for your car engine to conk out (that usually happens when you are in the middle of rush hour traffic) there's not an ideal time to go through withdrawals.
During WD life around us continues. While we suffer: checks bounce, strangers hassle us, store clerks are rude, friends and family get mad at us, someone steals the iPhone, and AT&T says it will express-mail a replacement iPhone... for $550.
Adding to the nightmare you realize that few people, if any, can relate to what we are going through. We conclude this is a mean world and we truly are alone. And of course, if you have pets, one or all of them decide that day three or four into withdrawals that that is the best time to get sick and require a $800 trip to the vet.
All I can guarantee you is that things will get better. In life they always do. As I like to tell people who are upset about having a lousy Christmas, I say "Hey look, we have lots of Christmas holidays in a lifetime. We are fortunate if three or four are memorable and picture perfect. What about the miserable ones? That's just the way it goes. We soldier on and think positive thoughts about next year."
So hang in there. You will feel better as the days tick by. Think about your achievements and the good things you have done in life. Lacking in good deeds are you now? Well, think about the contributions you will make to society after you complete this process. Come up with a plan and stick to it. (For example, offer some of your time to volunteer at a local charity. Maybe even lend a hand at an abuse clinic that is always in need of volunteers to help out.)
Bonus Tip: When I get depressed it is usually because I am thinking about something negative that has happened in my past or dwelling on the missteps or failures. If I sense that is the reason for my depression, I stomp out those thoughts by thinking of all the good I've done, or I recall the fortuitous events.
Another technique that works is to stop thinking, put your brain on hold and watch a movie or videos on your computer. In other words, give it a rest. Get distracted and send your thought processes on a vacation.
*end... pep talk*
You can do it. You will succeed. I'm still getting use to not reaching in my purse for a pill. Once my mind is right. I will taper of sub. But I've been great! And u will too. Stay positive: u are doing great. Easier said than done I know. I read everyday, but don't always post. Ur my partner here! Push each other !!!!:)
Thanks guys its rough but I'm determined. I just get so overwhelmed and down sometimes. Just so tired of feeling like crap and being tired :(. But I do know the end holds a wonderful reward :) I just have to keep fighting I have come to far to give up now. If I do come hunt me down and smack me lol
You are doing REALLY good......I remember your first fent.patch/perc
posts......and you've come SO FAR....(and in a very short time, too.)
I also chose to get off the subs fast.....and I felt pretty poopy as you are describing......but I PROMISE you won't stay this way. Your poor body has been thru an excrutiatingly stressful, painful shock...be gentle with yourself. You sound so committed to getting free as soon as you can of ANY narcotic. And I think you deserve immense PRAISE for that!
You go girl.......you're shining and may not even know it~
posts......and you've come SO FAR....(and in a very short time, too.)
I also chose to get off the subs fast.....and I felt pretty poopy as you are describing......but I PROMISE you won't stay this way. Your poor body has been thru an excrutiatingly stressful, painful shock...be gentle with yourself. You sound so committed to getting free as soon as you can of ANY narcotic. And I think you deserve immense PRAISE for that!
You go girl.......you're shining and may not even know it~
U R doing GREAT.. I have followed u for a long time.U have made a big change...The first step....is the big one..Right???
Hang tight...min by min it gets better..
vickie
Hang tight...min by min it gets better..
vickie
I'm certainly very thankful to be off the fentanyl that's for sure. I never realized how sick it was making me until I stopped. I am a completely different person now. I'm happy, I enjoy life again, I don't feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest, I'm not swollen. I could go on and on about how horrible that stuff was :(
For script and drug interaction checking visit the AARP site. In the search engine enter: drug interaction checker. They have an excellent cross-checker.
All of us on here have all walked the walk your walking in one form or the other. It's absolutely no fun at all. But, one of the wonderful things we do on this site every now and then is a gratitude list. We list and post what we're grateful for. You're not finished with your particular journey yet, but I bet if you think about it, you can think up some of the many positives you've gained so far, and certainly will gain when finally finished and free. I bet you'll be able to come up with quite a list. Try starting a list counting the present and future positives. And then post it! I can't begin to express how well that exercise I just described has helped me change my outlook.
What your doing hope is winning your life back. I've been watching you. I see you fighting forward, never going backwards, and you're winning the fight, one dose reduction at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. You're going to do this!
All of us on here have all walked the walk your walking in one form or the other. It's absolutely no fun at all. But, one of the wonderful things we do on this site every now and then is a gratitude list. We list and post what we're grateful for. You're not finished with your particular journey yet, but I bet if you think about it, you can think up some of the many positives you've gained so far, and certainly will gain when finally finished and free. I bet you'll be able to come up with quite a list. Try starting a list counting the present and future positives. And then post it! I can't begin to express how well that exercise I just described has helped me change my outlook.
What your doing hope is winning your life back. I've been watching you. I see you fighting forward, never going backwards, and you're winning the fight, one dose reduction at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. You're going to do this!
Hi,
Congratulations on coming off the Fentanyl and the Percs! Try not to stress -- The symptoms you're feeling are common when you go from such a powerful opiate to Suboxone which, although it has a strong affinity for certain receptor sites is not as strong a pain reliever. It has a 'ceiling dose' where other opiates don't. I know that I, and many others I know experienced what you're going through. Hopefully, you'll adjust to the Suboxone soon. What's your dose? If you're interested in the reaction between your muscle relaxer and Sub. check Drugs.com -- they have a list of 774 interactions for Buprenorphine. Is the Robaxin helping w/ the acute w/d's or are you out of that phase?
Best of luck & all good things to you
Congratulations on coming off the Fentanyl and the Percs! Try not to stress -- The symptoms you're feeling are common when you go from such a powerful opiate to Suboxone which, although it has a strong affinity for certain receptor sites is not as strong a pain reliever. It has a 'ceiling dose' where other opiates don't. I know that I, and many others I know experienced what you're going through. Hopefully, you'll adjust to the Suboxone soon. What's your dose? If you're interested in the reaction between your muscle relaxer and Sub. check Drugs.com -- they have a list of 774 interactions for Buprenorphine. Is the Robaxin helping w/ the acute w/d's or are you out of that phase?
Best of luck & all good things to you
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