Questioning your decisoins after addiction

[worried878]

I am not sure if I did something good or not...I feel like I did but since my addiction..and during my addiction..I never have trusted my decisions...this is one of the first intimate/relationship decisons i have made..the first relationship i have "tried " to have being clean as for a while i knew better than to try...i was too emotional..I now wonder if that is what i just did....i was seeing someone who is a workaholic and "to me" it seemed like it was a sacrifice to spend time with me..he lives in Destin which is 2.5 hours away which does not help, but I truely believe it would not have mattered if he lived next door......friends for a long time until we dated..which i feel was a mistake as i always felt disappointed but i only gave it a month..I am questioning myself as i just called him and told him we were not working as a couple....even a friend, if i call and leave a message i expect a call back..eventually...I am not used to being on the back burner and perhaps I never will be and I do not like to nag nor beg for attention...I am still not sure of myself and it has been close to 10 months clean...r we ever sure of ourselves as I would love to know how that feels?

[dominosarah]

Never settle for 2nd best or i will have to yell to you!!!!!  Yes it is nice to be in a relationship but not if you are not getting what you want.  You are making the right decision everyday........you are clean.  The rest will fall into place.         sara

[worried878]

I just hate it when I dont feel confident in my decisions...I never used to be that way....but since my addiction I dont trust myself..u nailed it!   But perhaps it is a move forward as there was a time when i would have not had the nerve to say what I said because i would have been too afraid i was wrong...now I have gone and done it!  LOL  and feel doubtful about what I have done....but I am not gonna regret it nor am I gonna lose sleep over it...thanx guys

[10356]

I 100% agree with Sarah.. Yes we do make good decisions again I know when I quit street drugs I did not think I would ever learn how to trust myself.. Trust I did and have been married 27yrs.. You deserve the best and the back burner is not it... I wish you well in all your decisions.. I'm also sorry as it is hard to end any relationship.. lesa

[dominosarah]

If you are wondering about relationships this is my thoughts on it........You shouldnt have to ever be on a back burner, nag or beg for attention.  Relationships are a 2 way street.  I firmly believe when the right one comes along you will feel it in your heart.  You seem to be making the right decisions now as you are not letting yourself get into a relationship where your needs are not being met.  As i have said before.....when you least expect it!!!!!            sara

[worried878]

talk about making decisions...I can not even type my title without a typo!   reading and posting soothes me tho...all will be well and the last thing I want to do is discourage anyone..I think we all..even clean people who never used have these trying times especially where relationships are concerned