Quote

[howlingshadow]

Here I am sitting here thinking it would be so easy to just go back to Dr. and give up, my life seems to be crumbeling and I see this freaking quote, Life is hard but its harder when your stupid!!!! John Wayne, I thought WOW if that doesnt fit my life right now I dont know what does. So here I sit, unmotivated, tired, cranky and sore but I will not give up because that would be stupid and put me in a world of hurt all over again, :) I hope everyone is doing ok today. My heart is still broken but its better to feel the pain ease naturally than numbing it, like I tried when my brother passed away.

[bama88]

Please don't give in and call the doctor...put that thought completely out of your head...asap. Pain hurts....but if you concentrAte on your sobriety...you'll be so much more proud of yourself. think of how disAppointed how will be if you pick jp the phone to the doctors office and use...yes it will numb the pain. of all people i truly get that...but what if you start to use again and never walk away from the pills? what if everything you have worked for you loose? what if you start up again and take too many?  then no more you. and we need you here with us.....

Its his loss not yours. he has big problems too. but what's your self worth? i know right now hour broken hearted....but when one door shuts another opens...and don't you want to see what the prize is behind door number two? tell her what she's won johnny.......its a new life!! a healthy sober life!!!! ding ding ding.....

Now do you wAnt door number one? addiction and misery? or door two..healthy sober and life the way YOU wAnt it!!! your in control now...not the pills....i beg you don't give up don't give in...you've already came so far....i see you reaching for door number two...go on and take a look around for awhile....door number one will still be there...but what's behind you can stay behind you...

[133113]

Hey Howling,

I know exactly how you feel.  I lost my brother, who was also my best friend in April 2008.  Before that I had a back injury and was prescribed meds, but never had a major problem other than physical dependence.  When he died I was not using and did not use for a few more months.  Then the pills started to pop up and I would take them on weekends.  Long story short, I toyed with these as a way to numb the pain of losing my brother.  Then the last 2 years I have been on the merry go round of habitual relapse.

I started therapy and it has helped me ALOT!.  The reality of the situation is the pain does exist, it is very real.  We can ignore it, cover it up through drug use, alcohol or whatever substance or we can start to deal with and heal.

I was talking to my therapist about triggers and he said that the sadness that envelopes almost ever aspect of my life from not dealing with the pain is the major trigger.  He told me I can keep using or can just start working through the pain in a positive way that will allow me to move past the pain and continue with my life.  

We both know that our brothers would not want us to deal with the pain this way, so use that as a motivator to get through another day sober.

[dominosarah]

We walk thru our pain now, not around it.  You will get thru this.  You are stronger than you realize~~sara

[IwillDoThis]

I'm so sorry you are going through all this pain, I love the quote.  Sounds like the universe is connecting with you to remind you why you are doing this.  Keep thinking about yourself and how much you deserve this.  I had mostly really painful relationships in my life until 7 years ago when I met the most wonderful person and we've been together ever since.  I couldn't see it at the time but all that pain was teaching me things, giving me different perspectives.  You never know who is coming into your life next, I know it hurts now but wonderful things can be in store for you - try to remember that. I would not change ONE moment of all the pain I endured because it led me to the love of my life.  Hang in there!