We have much in common. I smoked weed virtually every day for 15 years straight. Many acid trips also. I also played out in bands for many years. Alcohol was a huge problem. When I stopped using, I'd say in 3 weeks, my thinking cleared up pretty good, and soon after it completely cleared up. But I had gotten into AA. I tried quitting on my own and never really could. My own thinking could never fix my own thinking. The AA program helped me to get down to the bottom of the reasons I used like I did from age 13 through age 36. But I'm not selling you AA, I'm just telling you that your mind will come back strong...absolutely (and your music will take a turn for the better - I got obsessed with my music). Give it a try, but don't do it alone, enlist support from wherever you can. We will support you here. Glad you posted, you've made an important decision, one of the most important decision you'll ever make. Congratulations.
Hi, Mindwar. You are right that LSD can leave a footprint on your brain, but not always. I don't think you did it often enough to have any significant damage. I say this because you sound like you have your head screwed on straight. Keep in mind that in some cases, a single drop of acid can cause some major reactions in some people, for life. I think you might have gotten away without that happening. Try school. I'm certain you will be glad you did. Blessings - Blu
Thanks for the replies and the hope u guys! I love it that a place like this exists where people can share our deepest and darkest sides without fear :) @ open mind : thankfully I've never been a fan of how alcohol makes me feel so I've always stayed away from it. The thing is that I used to be an angry and aggressive(though never physical about it) kid which made me really like pot since it calmed me down and control the useless bouts of passive aggression I used to have against people who loved me like my family and my girlfriend. But I also detached myself from most of my family because of it and I'm trying to fix that right now. And my girlfriend is one of the best human beings I know, and still loves me and has stuck it out with me inspite of everything. Now i fear that I will lose her if i keep doing this and That would really break my heart and soul. Which is another reason why I want to sort my scene out. The one major issue Im facing is that these realisations have made me quite anxious in life and I feel that's really affecting my concentration and mental well being(besides the past of drug abuse). I really want to change that. Will relocating to a different country(to study) be too much for me? I'll have to leave my band behind but I just want to diversify my abilities in this field I've worked in for the past 6 years.
@blu: I really hope you're right! Going to apply soon for next year!
On a side note, anybody around who's studied sound technology at LIPA, UK? :D
Hi..I just love that name..Ha!!! I have to Ditto what was said above. I am like Openmind24hours. I come form the late 60s & 70s on trying the acid (never cared for it) but I smoke a lot of Pot way back when. Well to be honest I did a lot of experimenting with drugs.
I went to college a few times and got my Degrees and Such. I do know that drugs do things to the Neurotransmitter and Receptors and it can unbalance many Chems in the Brain.
To bad you can not talk to your Mon or Dad. They could knock this all down for you on what drugs go were and teach you alot so it would scare you not to use any more at all..BUT Right now it does sound like you got your head on straight. I know what it is like to be in the Music business and the Triggers it can cause. I also agree with OpenMind on getting some Support..This journey into our Recovery can not be walked a lone..Try a few Meetings like AA/NA you seem like you are a very caring person and you might get really involved and be able to help the next one that comes through the door..Heck you could help them ALL by sharing your experiences. I sure wish you the best and if you can stick to this site as well, I would like to hear how or what you decide to do..YES go back to school.
How essential is it to join NA for this?
I'm from a developing country(India) and here the whole concept of psychology is barely there so I'm a little weary if our NA establishments would be too developed. I don't want to go somewhere and feel worse about what I'm going through. The main issue that I'm dealing with is anxeity and guilt from what I've done till now. I have a lot of trouble remembering things because at some point in life I thought I had it all figured out and started using my brain less. I used to have an earnest want for learning about new things which I'm finding very hard to get back to. People used to call me intelligent, bubbly and excited, now I just feel placid, banal and behave kinda dumb :(
I to went thru what your going thru. When I was younger I used to smoke weed and PCP. Take acid and mesc. When I felt the trip start to peak I would smoke a bowl of dust. Insane! Never thought of the side effects. After doing this for a couple of months I had a bad trip. Every time I smoked weed after that I felt like I was having a bad trip again. I stopped. I felt better but was still paranoid about it. After about a week or so all the paranoid feelings and anxiety went away. I havent smoked or popped acid or mesc in 16 years. Youll get thru it brother. Stay strong and occupy your mind and youll see soon enough. Hope your well.