1135275 tn?1586565652


Hello, everyone! so I am hoping there's still a few people out there that I'll hear from. I relapsed on my drug of choice in March and have been actively using it since that time. The past month or two, I have been attempting to navigate the mental health world in a new city and get the resource I need to deal with that portion. I've also confided my struggle in a longtime friend who has been helping me taper, but I think my mental health struggles and the reality of addiction have taken a toll on him and perhaps even our friendship. I haven't been mean or nasty and the taper schedule is indeed working; I have succeeded in big ways! But I really do think there's a price being paid on our friendship. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and I'm also wondering what you did to ensure you maintained your friendship into sobriety. I think I will soon be sober again, though still working on some mental health concerns with the professionals. I'm mainly just looking for sage advice on things that can help with keeping a friendship through times like this if anyone else has had experience with it. Also, if you know of any resources your friends have used to find support, I'd also be happy to know about them.

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18524847 tn?1465595901
Oh man, such a bit part of addiction.  What it does to our relationships.  I have found eb and flow to be in effect.  I have made someone leery of me because of my own problems and slip ups.  And then I prove myself again while the friendship ebs a bit.  And then as the person trusts me again, we flow again.  I also had someone really smack me in the face one time when they looked at me and said that they had their own problems and that mine were not always the forefront of things in our relationship.  Oh!  Ya, that's right.  Sometimes people have things going on themselves and I'm so focused on me and our interaction as to how it relates to me that I don't even think of that right away!  

I am so pleased your taper is going well and you are getting on track.  A support system is important.  The mental health piece is such a cycle.  They are intertwined and yet I had to deal with them separately.  Work on depression, anxiety (guilt) and work on staying clean.  Do you see a therapist?  Like your own personal cheerleader in life is how I look at that although there are some stinky ones out there. When you have a good one, it is golden.  

Not feeling alone is so important too. Glad you are here. You are not alone.
Helpful - 0
bit part---  big part.  typo.
495284 tn?1333894042
Hi MM,  I am really glad you came back to the forum.  I have missed seeing the familiar names.  I do wish you posting was under different circumstances but here we are.  I know the mental health issues have always been there for you and has been a struggle.  I hope you can find the resources you need real soon.  Stay with your taper plan and keep moving forward with that.  I know you know what you need to do .  Has your friend been thru this with you before?  It is very frustrating for our loved ones to deal with this without their own support system.  Alanon is a good place to start.  My daughter found a great group when she was dealing with my grandsons addiction.  They all have a loved one who is an addict and offer very sage advice.  She learned so much and used the tools she was given to find some peace in her life and was still able to be there for my grandson.  Have him check some groups out.  Please keep us posted on how you are doing~You can do this MM~
Helpful - 0

This is helpful and I've shared this resource with him. He hasn't gone through this before with me, though I am lucky he has a natural skillset for it. I know resources for myself (and I'm using them), but have never done this process with the help of someone else, so it has been a learning experience. The taper is working and I've got myself surrounded with the professional help I need, and I just want to be sure he does too.

On a lighter note, I love that you're still here. There's something beautiful about a familiar person still shepherding the place. I hope you are well... my heart was warmed seeing your reply. :)
7163794 tn?1457366813
I'm trying to see what I would feel if I were "that" friend......however, I'm an addict, so I would expect certain behaviors and aggravations.  If your friend is not an addict then coming from the mindset of "why can't you just stop" is probably frustrating.  Perhaps acknowledge and thank your friend for what he is doing to help you.  
I understand that you are saying that your mental illness and addiction are related to one and other, but I am wondering why you arent' going back to recovery?  What were you doing before you relapsed to ensure your recovery?  
Helpful - 0
I appreciate what you said about the "why can't you just stop" question. That's something I've talked with him about and I think most of the time, he doesn't think that. However, it's a helpful reminder that in times where it is more difficult, it's natural to wonder that.

I'll note that I'm going through a taper because of the type of medication I am addicted to. It requires a taper, but is very hard to do alone when it's your drug of choice. Prior to my move to a new city, I had a therapist and some other support to ensure my recovery. My move to another state required me to navigate an unfamiliar mental health system that is, by far, much worse than the one I left behind. So, the answer to those last questions... I am going back to recovery, but it's taking some time to find all the right resources. I appreciate your reminders to express my thanks for the help my friend is giving me. I do think that's a very good reminder. :)
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