Relationships with family

Question

I have no money or job and am living with my parents. I am in recovery for 27 days from heroin addiction today. My parents are in active addiction to marijuana in my opinion and I was also a drug I enjoyed to use with them. I feel like they are unsupportive of my recovery and they refuse to keep the stuff away from me and tell me I'm not the same as other addicts that it dosent kill everyone and demand me to do all the housework so they can get high and be lazy smoking in the room next to me or even in front of me. They're my parents and I love them but I feel like they don't understand my desease or respect my decisions. What should I do? I'm scared that having them around might make me relapse on weed which I know will lead back to the spike and eventually death but I have nowhere to go.

Nathan_H · Answer

Here's an update for ya

I went to some meetings, talked to my sponsor, and now I see through my sick way of thinking. I'm an addict and am clean they're not clean so I wanted to get into that way of placing blame and stuff on them when I should have been looking at myself. I realize they do care about me, might not be that supportive but they care. I was most likely upset because my addiction wanted a reason to use but I never have to pick up again. I was distorting my thinkng into them not caring instead of, why can they do it and I can't. It makes sense now, jealousy turned into resements. All I know is I need to accept them the way they are and keep a distance when my brain gets hooked into that thinking until I sort it out. My desease has one goal, to kill me, and I'm not going to let that happen. Thanks for the help guys.

Nate

tommm70 · Answer

Awesome job on 27 days!! I would defininetly do what you can to move out of that situation. Have you thought about a halfway house? That would be great for early sobriety as well.
Whatever you decide, stay strong and enjoy your sobriety! You have earned it.

dominosarah · Answer

Hi Nathan.......your parents do care about you but they are in active addiction and the drugs come first.....People who have given up drugs are a real threat to the ones who are still using.  I agree with the others about finding a sober home someplace.  You have to take care of you now.....Your parents will have to find the answers for themselves.  Am glad to hear you are going to talk with your sponsor today.  Take care of yourself first.

Congrats on being 27 days clean!!!!  That is great!!!  Stick around here, you will get a ton of support            sara

Nathan_H · Answer

That's exactly what I've been thinking I need to do. Kinda hard to eat cutting my parents off because they raised me and I love them. Just to clairify I'm 30yrs old and my 27 days is complete abstinance from all mind altering substances. I kicked dope in early may but was doing the marijuana maintenance thing. But thanks for the advise I also plan on talking to my sponsor about it later today when we meet up. I just feel like they don't care about me and wonder if they ever did sometimes.

refusingbondage · Answer

Hi Nathan - I want to say congrats too.. My best advice for you is find your local NA or AA chapter and start going to some meetings plus they can probably help you find a sober living house.  You really need to be around people who encourage your sobriety.. You can also look up your area's Department of Mental Health and ask for some referrals to local sober living homes, etc.. This is VERY Important for you.. Find a meeting and Go and ask for help.  In the meantime - look the other way.. stay in your room, go for walks, do whatever you have to do to stay away from it.  Dont get angry and crazy just tell them calmly and rationally you cannot be around them and you will no do ANYTHING to compromise your sobriety..This will be difficult but you can overcome this.. Stay strong. Please keep us posted..

imanaddict · Answer

Hi Nathan,

first of all congratulations on 27 days!!! Way to go!!! I am really sorry to hear about your situation with your parents. I cannot imagine having parents that are willing to destroy their child so they can continue to get high. I was not brought up like that, and neither will my children. The only thing I can advise is to leave that house and stay somewhere where sobriety is encouraged. Maybe a friend, or other relative. You are correct, if you stay, your chances of relapse are pretty high. Your parents should be supporting you and NEVER doing drugs around their kids! That is completely selfish of them, not to mention child abuse! Do whatever it takes for your sobriety...it IS worth it! Forget the people that are trying to bring you down, they are NOT worth it! Good luck and please keep us posted on your progress.