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Rough night

I am really craving oxycontin tonight, . I keep getting all these texts about if I want to buy some. I am so emotionally/physically drained from not sleeeping and it scares me how one day you can be feeling so great and the next you can be a moment away from a relapse. I just want to stop so bad but I think this always happens to me around this day every time I try to stop because the no sleep thing really starts to mess me up, it's been 8 days now, almost 9 and I haven't slept in a few days and my heart feels like its just non stop racing like i'm so on edge. My eyes are so tired I am like seeing black dots, I am just hoping I can get some sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow feeling better. If anyone has any good advice/motivation it would really helpp
30 Responses
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1064938 tn?1255282319
Oh god baby just a few more days. Please hang in there I promise you it will get better. I have read some of your posts. Remember some of the advice you have given to the others. Cas you have helped a lot of people. I dont know if you know it or not but you have. Please delete those numbers out of your phone. Get a new number so they do not have it and can not text to you. I know it is not any easier when it is being offered up to you. Stay the course. Be strong. this to shall pass.  Please cass, you can do it. You have a lot of people here in your corner. I will say a prayer just for you tonight.
Thinking of you

Lisa
Jacksonville,FL
Helpful - 0
724819 tn?1298925776
After 8 days you are so close to feeling like you again!!  I know itss tempting cuz I deal with that to......I relapsed after about 6 months clean and am now going thru all the wd's and stuff!!  Its not worth it.......its such a vicious cycle that gets you no where except jail or death or the street!!  My only advice.....this helps me alot when im bored and cant sleep is listening to music......put on your headphones close your eyes and just listen to your fav bands and their lyrics and what they have to say!!! Music is my lifesaver thru wd's along with this site!!  Keep goin girl.....be strong.....screw those "friends" which I doubt you really have anbything in common with except for oxy's......

Jeff
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks guys. I know you both are right its just a bad night, i guess they can't all be good. My roommate is going to get it, i hate knowing it's just in the room next to me. I will do other things to try and distract my mind, sometimes it just so overwhelming like it takes over my head, i get so anxious, sometimes even shake just thinking about it. I hate this and I want to get far away from it.
Helpful - 0
1076404 tn?1259197655
Almost 9 days... wow you are SO close to being over the worst of it. At this point you should be happy to know you made it this far. You are an inspiration to me... if only i could be there with you. I would give you a big hug and tell you how great you are doing. Day 9 most of the withdrawals will go away. You will still be tired, but the depression will go away.

This is whats so amazing about you... the drugs are right there, you can get them? But you continue fighting. You are so strong, because if i had a vicodin next to me right now. I would lose it. I told the dealers to stop calling me. I told the pharmasy to cancel my prescription, and yes my Dr called in a big bottle for me. And you know what? Cassie talked me into canceling it... you did. I owe you my life... please dont go back, when you have come this far.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
the best advice I see on this thread goes to Lisa- you have to change ya digies and get a new one. your phone will be a terrible trigger to you. I outta know ima expert on that one lol! your gonna have to change alot of things in your life to remain clean once your wd's are done. focus on what you want and stay strong . GET RID of that phone number NOW!!
also, it really helped me to journal a lil when it get real rough. try making out a list of things you have with dope and things you have without it. things you want outta life and things you get from gettin high. most of all , remember that all addicts wether we wanna admit it or not CHOSE to use. You make your choices, not your friends , your phone, or your drugs. If you chose to give in, the choice will be on you. but if you chose to NOT get high, you will feel more empowered every time!! best of luck to ya, and lose the damn phone number
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ok sis just slow it down and don't use just for tonight . That works for me if I am gonna drink or use it will be tomorrow. Today I am choosing not to use and I will say the same thing tomorrow. Sometimes it's only for the next half hour or five min. You can take care of those pesky texts that make you jones tomorrow. Sleep baby sleep .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Cass,

I agree with above about the great advice I've seen from you.  I am also on day 9 at the moment and have slept only several hours in the past 4 days.

Do not lie in bed and toss and turn---very frustrating.  try and get comfy and watch a movie or keep reading here.  If you start feeling peaceful,close your eyes for a bit and take some deep breaths.  This too shall pass.

I know exactly where you're at Cassie and feeling it too.
Keep up the good fight Cassie, you've come SO far!!!!

bob
Helpful - 0
662972 tn?1270166301
you have made it 8 days honey that is wonderful and being in other room would be so hard on me also prob kill me thinking about it also. tell your rommate to not let you know when he/she is going to get to hard on you. Stay strong and look up!!! God will get you through and if your not strong enough to walk he will carry. I agree w/others get rid numbers they are bad, Best luck
Holliee
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
when me and my wife first started c/t a hadt o switch my phone off as the dealers  just kept phoning and that was a real bad thing for us if you dont want to change your number switch the phone off it helped me and kim a great deal good luck cassie and cassie when you do sleep you willhave the best sleep ever we went 15 days without sleep but when sleep came boy did it come and a really enjoyed itso dont worry its agetsting i know but will be worth it in the end stay strong cassie James and Kim
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
Yeah turn it off until get the number changed  that will give you some peace .You dont need that at this point of recovery.
Helpful - 0
1047946 tn?1332608029
So sorry things are getting tough for you. It seems like we all hit that one really tough day or night. It just happens at different times for everyone. Remember that tomorrow is another day and wont be as bad. It always seems like when we have a real bad day, the next one eases up a bit. I know the last 9 days have been miserable but you are so close to hit the turning point. You don't want to let these past 9 days go to waste because you if you relapse you'll eventually have to go through the days again. Just keep up the good fight and know it will get better. I'm proud of you Cassie and you should be as well. Hang in there hun. You'll get through this and you are so close!
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
stay focused cassie..when u crave get busy..go for a walk, but move..the typical craving lasts less than 15 minutes..so try ur best to let it pass...if u sit and dwell on it ..then the craving will sit and dwell on u...or go to a meeting..or have someone to call to help u..or post here..just do sumpin other than use..u will feel awful after u cave..it wont be as fun as ur brain its telling u it will be..it will make u feel like a failure...dont do it
list the reasons u quit..keep them close..list them here cos i am not sure of the reasons u quit?...keep those reasons close to ur heart
Helpful - 0
711224 tn?1344771687
Hey Cassie! How do yo feel today? Please keep posting!
xoxoxo. sophie.
Helpful - 0
1081316 tn?1256145132
God blesse Cassie I am praying for you. I am only on day 2  i can't wait to day 9 i know i should be fine... Pray to our GOD  call on him..HE CAN HELP he's helping me right now, i know w/d should be worse, but it's through GOD's Grace and Mercy I have NO craving, i do think aobut it, but the taste for it is GOND... Praise God he took it away.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks everyone for the responses. i finally fell asleep last night and i feel a little  better this morning. i know you are all right, and i can look into getting a new number, i have like almost 300 contacts tho so it would be kind of hard, i cant turn it off because i dont have a housephone and i do need the phone. I don't want to turn back now, but im glad i slept a bit, it makes everything better, thanks everyone for the advice
Helpful - 0
1063524 tn?1258732204
Cassie, I am sooo proud of you.  I agree with someone on here who said that your roommate should NOT tell you when they are going to have drugs.  If he/she really cares about you, they will listen.  You know you don't want to go through these last days all over again and you have been so strong you are someone I can seriously look up to because I'm tapering down off of methadone.  But I will hit bottom and I can remember you, and others, and the fight you put up.  You are seriously in my prayers and please send me a note or message if you want to talk.  Once again, way to go girl.  Sometimes we don't know what we have in us until God opens our eyes and shows us the strength we have had all along that is given to us through him.  Relax honey, you're almost there.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
9 days??? I am 22 hours into this and your saying NINE DAYS? OOOOH My God. I don't know about feeling like THIS for 9 days or more ... my life is in close to utter chaos becuase of Roxy's ... that I know for fact ... but this God awful withdrawal is just about too much to bear. I can't stand feeling like this and my thought patterns are BIZARRE. I feel like someone is tugging on my spinal cord so that my brain is being yanked backwards!!!!! And my stomach ... way to descriptive unpleasantry's.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Nooo I didn't mean I was feeling like that for nine days, don't worry it does get better each day. There were just some lingering things like lack of appetite and sleep, and environment conditions, but besides that I was/am feeling MUCH better. I am very happy I chose to stop and not going back now, already I am feeling 10x better today because I slept and ate some healthy food. Don't get down, with each day you stay off it (after say like day 4ish) you will start to feel better.
The stuff you are describing is normal, it is the wd, your heads trying to make you think you need the drugs, and you don't!! If you go to the health pages to the Thomas Recipe there are a bunch of things that can help make it a bit easier on you.
Helpful - 0
1064938 tn?1255282319
I am glad you are feeling better. Cassie go to your cell phone provider and tell them you have a stocker and you want your number changed they will do it and if you get a new phone they will switch over all the contact info for you!!!  Good Luck baby girl hang in there!!!

Lisa
Jacksonville,FL
Helpful - 0
1047946 tn?1332608029
Hope you can get some more sleep tonight. Lack of sleep to anyone including people that aren't going through withdrawals can really take its toll on the body. We have to deal with other symptoms on top of no sleep so that can really drive us crazy and wear us down even more! Just keep stay on course and with each passing day the sleep will come. I'm proud of you Cassie and you should be too! Keep on fighting!
Brian
Helpful - 0
1047946 tn?1332608029
How are you holding up Cassie? Hope you are feeling better! You should start a new post and tell everyone about your fight. What you have done and are doing is so inspiring and will help so many people that are wanting to start the process that you have went through. You have proved that it is possible! You are a very strong person and you now know you can accomplish anything you put your mind too as can anyone else! Keep up the great fight! Be very proud of yourself!

Brian
Helpful - 0
1047946 tn?1332608029
Just wondering if anyone has heard from Cassie and how she is doing? She hasn't been on for awhile. I know she said she was very busy with school but just hope she is still fighting the cravings and going strong. She was putting up a great fight and hope she's still going strong.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I saw she posted on someone else's blog on Oct 26.  She seemed to be doing o.k.  Maybe just busy with school.
Helpful - 0
711224 tn?1344771687
Hey there Brian!
Cassie is doing good, she is very busy for school and with her recovery, so far so good!
xoxoxo. sophie.
Helpful - 0
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