Sad, scared....

[Butterfly1503]

If you've read my earlier post.. You know that I'm down to two hydros a day! 1/2 every 4-6 hours. I want to go talk to my doctor. I'm just so scared... I'm having so many crying spells. I think I need an antidepressant. Pretty much I just beat myself up.... Just really sad.. And so scared to talk to him because I don't want to get labeled or him to be a jerk. I can barely talk to my hubby about this without crying. On a good note.. I only too 1 1/2 yesterday.. It was a rough stretch, but holding out as long as I can today too. I just want this behind me....please pray... I know I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me. Thank God, I serve such an amazing God!!! Anxiety is a beast right now!

[EvolverU]

YES!! So wonderful that you did it! (Feels better, hunh? [a big congratulatory smile to you.]) Good to hear you positive.

Did your doctor mention maybe putting you on Clonidine (a blood pressure med.) for @ least the duration of your kick? It's commonly used as a detox 'comfort med' & if you already have an issue you might really want to ask him.

Let us know when your taper plan is in place & how it's going. You're doing great! We're here.

[Butterfly1503]

I saw my doctor! Nurses were hugging me, and telling me what a huge inspiration I am. My doctor was amazing. Due to a few underlying health reasons he does not want me to quit ct. My blood pressure and heart racing was through the roof. He's concerned about my health, but sat down with a taper program! Monday, I am going in to a counseling place for recovering addicts. I will also be going into a new leaf program and they will monitor my tapering. My doc said, he is praying for me, and he is inspired by my braveness. I had a massive panic attack this morning and has no choice but to admitt to my doctor my addiction. Guess what!!!? I see a light at the end of this dark tunnel, and admitting to my doctor was the most freeing thing I've ever done!!!!

[HappyDays2Come]

I agree that you should just go CT now. The w/ds you're going through while tapering don't get much worse when you actually quit. So why not just get the clean time rolling :) ? Are you taking any vitamins? If not get the ones listed in the Thomas Recipe and be sure to stay hydrated. You're making a GREAT decision and I promise that it gets so much easier. Leap now and just push through! Keep posting here to get support and to vent! We're cheering for you!

[ROSYouralright]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE and the fear and sadness are something I think we ALL go through when quitting! IT DOES GET BETTER and easier to manage. Speaking to your doctor about this is the BEST thing you can do. You won't be labeled and you will probably be surprised to find that he will be eager to help you through this.

[EvolverU]

Hey there & Congrats on your taper. Thanks so much for posting.

I'm sorry you're feeling so fearful & uncertain. Please, know that you're NOT alone. What you're going through is absolutely 'normal' when you get to a low dose. You're on an emotional roller-coaster right now & will be until you get through acute w/d's & into PAWS. It's just the nature of the way this thing works. Unless you've been diagnosed as depressed you probably don't need an AD. Many folks panic & want to reach for something because of the raw emotions & low energy we experience when we withdraw from opiates. There have actually been several posts lately from people who jumped the gun & got AD's during their acute w/d's & ended up feeling much iller. Your body/mind is in a state of trauma & is trying to readjust. This takes time, my friend. Try to have patience with the process. I promise that it gets better & that if you stick with it you'll be SO glad that you did. Your worst enemy right now is fear. I know that it's 'natural' for us addicts to constantly reach for something whenever we're uncomfortable but dealing with these feelings is the very heart of recovery. (Best to understand this earlier rather than later) :-)

Coming out to your Dr. is a wonderful idea & will solidify your resolve. If he's your 'source' then it's a must that you cut it off. It'll be a relief to tell him, he might help you w/ comfort meds or send you to an addiction specialist who will. Either way you'll be safer & supported in a way which you weren't before.

Please, let us know how you're faring & what you think. We're here & we're pulling for you!

[novics]

What you are feeling is really "par for the course" when trying tp quit this stuff, and don't let this beat you.

The thought of quiting will really scare you early on, but the "big bad monster" is not as bad as you will originally think after you "take the plunge". Days 3 to 6 are really hard but bearable, and it then gets easier every day after this.

I believe 'tapering' just prolongs the agony, and if i was you I would just throw everything away, and then just get this over with.

Ask your doctor for something to help you sleep for the first 9 days after you completely quit, and then stop taking that too after the 9th day..