Aa
Scared
Well here we go ! Some how I thought I had another month on the methadone but today I thought I was going to 3 mg and the nurse said no I was at 1. I have 2 weeks off 1 mg. I have done so well ,why am I so damn scared I will get sick in a few weeks then have to go back and go everyday. I have dropped 110 lbs but in the last month I eat at 1 small bowl of a veg or fruit and it's gone in a half hour.My tummy don't.hurt but food sort goes right through me,I am dropping like 2-3 lbs a day I know my Doc didn't recognize me today I see him every six months .I guess quote my husband, I am looking like myself again. I hate that stuff but my fear of withdrawal is so bad so I am some where between happy and petrified.My husband said don't take it everyday and ,if I need to stay at 1 till I feel ok its fine. Someone tell me how to go back to my normal life. I lost a decade sleeping how do I break the routine and move on ? will I get sick when I stop?
So you dosed down slowly and didn't get sick at all? I haven't heard anyone with anything good to say about the dosing down to 1mg process. Thats why so many people are scared i think. I've been on methadone since end of February and I wanna be done. I'll be at 20mg as of tomorrow and am hoping to get this over with sooner than later. Please let me know how you did.
Great job, So far I have been fine. I hope that by doing it slowly I eliminate the sickness. So many people say its awful. I just can't wait to be done too and start living my life without worrying about this crap. good luck and please keep me posted about your dosing down and how you are feeling. Keep on keeping on.
Okay I did it,and if I can you can .Do this slow and you won't feel anything I thought I was at 5 when they said I was done ,I had 2 weeks of take homes at 1 mg ,for the first time I went days without.in 2 week I took the 1 mg 3 times.The mon I was to go back ,I just couldn't make myself go back ,I am fine.I never abused drugs and never mistook my methadone ,I detoxed slow while everyone said I would get sick and scared the crap out of me I am fine I am more pissed I spent 14 years in a methadone coma and missed out on so much life.
I am from gilbert arizona. I am also on 20 mgs, and have been going to the clinic for about just as long as you have. I have a 40+ hour a week job, and I am a student finishing up a college degree. I have been on 20 mgs for about a month now and and going to start going down again but, don't have a full proof plan yet. Maybe 1 mg a week or 2. Then when I get to 10mgs or 5 start doing 10%, I should probably talk to the Nurse at my clinic, The actual Dr. only shows up once a month, and only sees the pregnant patients. But, I need support and help, im 28 and ready to be free of the liquid handcuffs. Hardest thing I have ever faced, and honestly probably the hardest thing to overcome in life.
I'm close to where you are -- A few more weeks and I'll be in the single digits. How did you do after you hit the 20mg? I'm curious on what to expect as far as the withdraw when I taper down under 20mg, so far I've been good. I'm reducing 5mg a week. I may slow that down once I hit 20mg, depending on I feel-- You are doing amazingly! I'm in such awe from some poeple who have gotten down to under 5mg. I've only been at the clinic for 6m, and honestly I would go slower if it weren't for the cost. Its $13/day, about $400 a month and being a single mom, that **** just won't fly anymore. But I am ready, My bf who I had a long distance relationship with recently moved to the town I live in, I need to get this out of my life. I'm ready, have been for some time. Someone mentioned something about vitamins and protein, can you let me know what you are using? I need to be prepared for whatever so I can still care for my son. I've kept this extremely private as for as telling my friends and family. My dad knows, who I live with, but my boyfriend has no idea and I won't be telling him. I was contemplating taking a week off work for vacation, and say I have the flu to the bf, idk what else to do if it gets really bad. I just don't know how I should schedule that or when the worst of it will be. Or if I'm just gonna have a hard time sleeping since I've tapered down slowly? Any help would be great. And again, great job. Like I said, In awe of you being down so low. Keep your head up!
Hi there Nonny :)
As a former 'Methadone patient' (20 yrs. the last time) who tapered & then jumped, I just want to tell you that you're doing TREMENDOUSLY!! You've done everything right under some difficult circumstances. (I can't believe that they put you on 110 mgs.! (Made me angry to read it but it's typical.) Like you said, you're aware that @ 1 mg. you're actually on less. (the bioavailability is lower:) Your slow taper has allowed that stuff to leach from your bones & other tissue making your withdrawal easier. I think that's it's great that you started biking & doing Yoga too. That's bound to help. Keep up the good work! It sounds like your body & spirit are really appreciating you coming off this drug. (Yaay You!)
I hear you -- I hear you on the weight loss & gut issues! The exact same thing happened to me. Methadone affects the thyroid & also attacks the pancreas. (Things they don't bother telling us or aren't aware of themselves). So, when we stop many of us experience a revved up metabolism. I had gut issues for a long time. Lu (above) gave you some excellent nutritional advice, I'd go even further because I know how bad & extended the gut issue can be. If possible, find yourself a really good probiotic & take it religiously. I take two different ones: Dr. Ohiro's & Life-Extension, the first in the morning, the second @ night. It has resolved the issue for the most part. I too, (like Lu) am concerned about your protein intake & I concur that a plant-based formula is the way to go until you can eat more. Hemp protein is good. You might also try Raw plant-based Amino Acids (Garden of Life makes a good one) as it will give you the building blocks you need for neural repair. Hydration, hydration, hydration! This should be your watchword. Plain purified water -- 2 to 3 liters per day. If possible, stay away from coffee, soda, energy drinks, anything with aspartame or MSG in it, fried foods, processed/junk foods, alcohol & demon sugar! :) Artificial sweetners, lactose intolerance, antacids & too much vitamin C are some of the things that can aggravate the runs. It sounds like the little you're eating is healthy. If the runs are really bad, use Imodium as directed as a stop-gap measure 'til you balance out. Drinking fresh green drinks & wheatgrass in particular (if you can stomach it;) is extremely healing & gives a boost of energy. The other thing I'd really suggest besides a very good supplement (& they're not all created equal) is krill oil for mood, memory, sleep, hormonal balance, enhanced detox & a host of other benefits. This will give you the optimal balance of Omega 3 & 6. Bananas, rice, chicken, toast & potatoes will all help to slow down your 'transit' time a bit & give some gut relief. Make sure you're getting enough sodium (& again water) to replenish what you're loosing. Raw coconut water is a great way of balancing your electrolytes. (Great post-exercise drink:) I know you're medically 'aware' so forgive my little nutritional rant (I can't help myself).
Nonny, I also hear you on the fear but guess what? You're already doing it & whether you realize it or not, you've already taken great strides on 'reclaiming yourself'. When I read through your post, I saw it & started nodding in recognition @ what you were telling us. I think what you're dealing with now is the dawning of the 'return to Clarity'. This drug is so insidious because it's really an emotional death. While on it, we're in suspended animation -- not really living in the True sense. (I mean just look around @ the clinic or others you know who are enslaved). So, when we stop, all the ways we truly feel & everything we've been keeping @ arms length during our use. Everything we haven't felt or digested, comes up & tends to be magnified @ first. It takes a little while of being tossed about in the waves before our toes touch bottom, but this is normal & necessary. I think your fear (or the level of fear that you might be experiencing) is part of this. The Truth of the matter is that until you drop the security blanket of the 1mg. you'll never 'get back to yourself' -- you're already experiencing the symptoms. Why continue to suffer? You will not 'level out' @ one mg. So, why not drop it so that you can begin your true healing? The fact is that you're much stronger than you know & that you're already doing it. You're already determined -- you're disgusted @ what this drug cost you (just as I was) -- use that -- I'm willing to bet that it's stronger than your uncertainty about letting go of that last mg. The Devil you know is definitely not better in this case. :)
I'm happy that you have your husband there to support you! The time is now -- like you said, you've already lost too much of that irreplaceable commodity! (Me too:) You & yours deserve more. So, take a deep breath, hold your nose & jump. It's not far to the water, it's not half as cold as you believe & it's a relatively short swim to safety!
We're here & we're pulling for you. :)
As a former 'Methadone patient' (20 yrs. the last time) who tapered & then jumped, I just want to tell you that you're doing TREMENDOUSLY!! You've done everything right under some difficult circumstances. (I can't believe that they put you on 110 mgs.! (Made me angry to read it but it's typical.) Like you said, you're aware that @ 1 mg. you're actually on less. (the bioavailability is lower:) Your slow taper has allowed that stuff to leach from your bones & other tissue making your withdrawal easier. I think that's it's great that you started biking & doing Yoga too. That's bound to help. Keep up the good work! It sounds like your body & spirit are really appreciating you coming off this drug. (Yaay You!)
I hear you -- I hear you on the weight loss & gut issues! The exact same thing happened to me. Methadone affects the thyroid & also attacks the pancreas. (Things they don't bother telling us or aren't aware of themselves). So, when we stop many of us experience a revved up metabolism. I had gut issues for a long time. Lu (above) gave you some excellent nutritional advice, I'd go even further because I know how bad & extended the gut issue can be. If possible, find yourself a really good probiotic & take it religiously. I take two different ones: Dr. Ohiro's & Life-Extension, the first in the morning, the second @ night. It has resolved the issue for the most part. I too, (like Lu) am concerned about your protein intake & I concur that a plant-based formula is the way to go until you can eat more. Hemp protein is good. You might also try Raw plant-based Amino Acids (Garden of Life makes a good one) as it will give you the building blocks you need for neural repair. Hydration, hydration, hydration! This should be your watchword. Plain purified water -- 2 to 3 liters per day. If possible, stay away from coffee, soda, energy drinks, anything with aspartame or MSG in it, fried foods, processed/junk foods, alcohol & demon sugar! :) Artificial sweetners, lactose intolerance, antacids & too much vitamin C are some of the things that can aggravate the runs. It sounds like the little you're eating is healthy. If the runs are really bad, use Imodium as directed as a stop-gap measure 'til you balance out. Drinking fresh green drinks & wheatgrass in particular (if you can stomach it;) is extremely healing & gives a boost of energy. The other thing I'd really suggest besides a very good supplement (& they're not all created equal) is krill oil for mood, memory, sleep, hormonal balance, enhanced detox & a host of other benefits. This will give you the optimal balance of Omega 3 & 6. Bananas, rice, chicken, toast & potatoes will all help to slow down your 'transit' time a bit & give some gut relief. Make sure you're getting enough sodium (& again water) to replenish what you're loosing. Raw coconut water is a great way of balancing your electrolytes. (Great post-exercise drink:) I know you're medically 'aware' so forgive my little nutritional rant (I can't help myself).
Nonny, I also hear you on the fear but guess what? You're already doing it & whether you realize it or not, you've already taken great strides on 'reclaiming yourself'. When I read through your post, I saw it & started nodding in recognition @ what you were telling us. I think what you're dealing with now is the dawning of the 'return to Clarity'. This drug is so insidious because it's really an emotional death. While on it, we're in suspended animation -- not really living in the True sense. (I mean just look around @ the clinic or others you know who are enslaved). So, when we stop, all the ways we truly feel & everything we've been keeping @ arms length during our use. Everything we haven't felt or digested, comes up & tends to be magnified @ first. It takes a little while of being tossed about in the waves before our toes touch bottom, but this is normal & necessary. I think your fear (or the level of fear that you might be experiencing) is part of this. The Truth of the matter is that until you drop the security blanket of the 1mg. you'll never 'get back to yourself' -- you're already experiencing the symptoms. Why continue to suffer? You will not 'level out' @ one mg. So, why not drop it so that you can begin your true healing? The fact is that you're much stronger than you know & that you're already doing it. You're already determined -- you're disgusted @ what this drug cost you (just as I was) -- use that -- I'm willing to bet that it's stronger than your uncertainty about letting go of that last mg. The Devil you know is definitely not better in this case. :)
I'm happy that you have your husband there to support you! The time is now -- like you said, you've already lost too much of that irreplaceable commodity! (Me too:) You & yours deserve more. So, take a deep breath, hold your nose & jump. It's not far to the water, it's not half as cold as you believe & it's a relatively short swim to safety!
We're here & we're pulling for you. :)
hey Nonny good to see you posting!
You are doing great with your taper and of course it is TOTALLY normal to be fearful as you reach the end. Try not to anticipate. You've done a slow taper and you have been through an awful lot. Your husband is right. If you need to stay at 1 mg for awhile until you feel normal again, then do it. You are almost at the finish line. Keep taking all those good supplements. Are you doing protein shakes? These are integral for rebuilding your body and brain after methadone. I like hemp protein best because it's easiest on my gut. I put it in a blender with probiotic yogurt, blueberries (high in antioxidants) and almond milk. When i can't eat real food it's great for getting energy and nutrition.
Try to get outside as much as you can.
I know you're scared, we all are. But you have to learn to feel the fear and do it anyways. With this comes a great sense of empowerment. Are you doing any therapy or aftercare? Having a place to voice your fears and get non-judgemental support is very important.
Hey, stop being hard on yourself. You've been on quite a journey and you are doing awesome!
Keep posting....
Lu
You are doing great with your taper and of course it is TOTALLY normal to be fearful as you reach the end. Try not to anticipate. You've done a slow taper and you have been through an awful lot. Your husband is right. If you need to stay at 1 mg for awhile until you feel normal again, then do it. You are almost at the finish line. Keep taking all those good supplements. Are you doing protein shakes? These are integral for rebuilding your body and brain after methadone. I like hemp protein best because it's easiest on my gut. I put it in a blender with probiotic yogurt, blueberries (high in antioxidants) and almond milk. When i can't eat real food it's great for getting energy and nutrition.
Try to get outside as much as you can.
I know you're scared, we all are. But you have to learn to feel the fear and do it anyways. With this comes a great sense of empowerment. Are you doing any therapy or aftercare? Having a place to voice your fears and get non-judgemental support is very important.
Hey, stop being hard on yourself. You've been on quite a journey and you are doing awesome!
Keep posting....
Lu
Thanks ,It is late ,I don't know why I am so scared .I have never abused drugs and was put on dilaudid after a pnuemonia that cost me my lung .The doctors had a temp- line in at home to get pain meds .It was 6 months of this crap . I had them stop it because I had to go back to work.I never expected how sick I was within just 6 hours.I had a friend who said do a 30 day detox on methadone .I was given a high dose and crashed 3 cars I detox down within about 8 months to about 6 mg.then broke my arm in 4 places,I was so afraid of pain meds I went up on the methadone I was in a cast 6 months.somehow they talked me into using this as pain med for my lupus and MS ..I became numb to life slept a decade,2 years ago I began to go down 2 mg every 2 weeks. I have never felt anything but better. I slept better. I started doing yoga and biking .I knew I was getting near the end but thought I had a month to try to go days without it .I see people down there bottles a few at a time ,I have taken this at 5 in the morning everyday. I am a medically trained person I know at 1 mg it is nothing. I just hear such horror story's. I have to find away to calm my brain down.It is 3 in the morning and I am still scared and worrying. I am taking vitamins and am a natuo-pathic practitioner, I just took calcium and magnesium with is better than a sleeping pill. I guess it's just getting back to my life and getting past the fact I lost a decade but yet still fear letting go of a drop of med ,I am not kidding I have to add water to even get to a drop that I know can't be doing anything , .So stupid but fear keeps setting in.
Hi. It's late for the east coast folks so you may get responses tomorrow from those experienced w/ methadone. I am not, BUT, I can help you with your terror of wd's. Firstly, you are looking ahead! You don't need to think past tonight. Everyone is terrified of wd. That's what keeps a lot of peeps continuing to use whatever opiate. I'm sure you want off of this. So, when you have your detox, we will be here every step.
You prob know about Thomas recipe (stuff to get to ease detox.) So look that up. And remember that the only way out of this is through. We gotta detox to get to the other side. When you do it, you'll be free (then the mental work begins.)
Read other posts too. You'll see so so many folks who are or were terrified of detox and got thru:)
You prob know about Thomas recipe (stuff to get to ease detox.) So look that up. And remember that the only way out of this is through. We gotta detox to get to the other side. When you do it, you'll be free (then the mental work begins.)
Read other posts too. You'll see so so many folks who are or were terrified of detox and got thru:)
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