Oh yeah, also nauseous but only slightly. Another reason for my post is because everything you read on the internet about suboxone withdrawal is all over the map and contradicting. It seems like people either say that it's really easy or the most horrible thing ever.
Hi, welcome back. As you can see, the forum is not like it was. Very sad. So, it takes time to get a response. Since you were hear before, you probably know what's coming: what will you do to ensure that you stay off? What was your DOC that lead to subs in the first place? The reasons for checking out is the stuff that needs to be addressed. That certainly doesn't go away on it's own. You'll notice that anyone still left giving feedback on this site has several years clean, and every single person is in serious aftercare. I still do 4 to 5 meetings a week and I've got 3 years and 4 months clean. If I could have done it on my own, I would have. So would everyone.
Getting through detox is really just a matter of time and a half decent attitude. Look up the Thomas recipe for some ideas. Keep checking in. More will be along with more support:)
Well, I can say that tapering IS the best way to come off of the subs.....as long as your ready to get off. A long....slow....taper! What are you going to do to prevent the "fear" and "anxiety" of completing it this time? What are you going to do differently....I ask because I did not read above where you had any type of long term plan to stay clean?
I also came off of the subs, January 1st, 2014, and have been clean ever since, however I didn't taper. I took 24mg per day for 7 years. Here are a couple of things that I found helped....
1. Sitting in the sun ( I know it sounds corny, but it works)
2. Eating foods HIGH in protein!!!!
3. Watching and listening to things that made me laugh...like out loud laughing....stand up, etc...
I would also suggest the following.....you need to find some type of recovery program either AA, NA, Celebrate Recovery, etc....NOW...before your closer to your taper. This way you can surround yourself with people that will encourage you to stay on your journey. It puts more people in your corner for success. I would also lay off the gabapertin....I understand why your using it, however, it too, can be something you will have to come off of. I can't tell how many times I attempted tapers but....to no avail. IMO....the best way to be successful in this....is to find recovery.
Good luck to you....
I've had a script for gabapentin for years without taking it. I ONLY take it when my legs hurt (once so far this time) and only 50mg so I'm not worried about that but I'm not trying to abuse it either. The good thing about subs is I haven't been high in soooo long I really don't long for it at all...
I WISH I could pretend the past never happened and move on...i know it's not that simple. NO one knows I relapsed and am on subs but everyone close to me knows I've had a problem with pain pills in the past and knows that if anything were to ever happen where I would need to be prescribed pain pills I would need someone to hold them for me. I guess that's part of my long-term recovery plan. For example my current boyfriend who could seriously lead to a potential husband I've told very seriously, "listen... if I'm ever prescribed pain pills ... EVER in my life you have to hold them for me and give them to me as needed ONLY" hypothetically of course. Other than that I'm not sure... I know absolutely no one where I live now who gets pain pills or sells pain pills or anything like that. it's been a long time since I've been in that kind of life and I live in another state. (I was clean 6 yrs the first and only other time). Though I know that stuff can happen cuz it happened once or I wouldn't be on Suboxone but at this point I don't see myself going after a high after getting off subs. The first time I tried to get off Suboxone, I was an idiot and I was keeping some hydrocodone "just in case" - this time there's nothing of the sort anywhere near me at all... that's one way things will be different...that and I want FREEDOM SOOO BAD! I have more to lose at this point in my life than I've ever had before. Thank you both for responding it means so much. I just know someone is listening and that there's someone I can tell and that I'm not doing this all alone I guess.
Our secrets keep us sick. You said noone knows, does that include your boyfriend? Are you getting the subs from a doctor? Recovery care is very important. We need to deal with our demons and put them to rest. Using is just a symptom of what goes on in our head. You know what you want to do and now you need to put that plan in action. You are not alone here so please keep talking with us.
Back ground: I started using because i was naive - i was just a kid and had never seen addiction. I wanted to be cool and fun but it lasted 8 yrs past cool and fun. I was sober 6 good years until a bad break up and no friends far from home led me to no accountability. I was stupid and thought I could take just one - wrong...i felt like super woman for a day and wanted more- a few months later I was on subs and have been ever since. A few people know about my relapse just no one in my life knows I'm still on Subs (except dr as mentioned). I'm not opposed to trying in a Aa or na it's just a matter of making the time really.
Hello! I just finished a successful suboxone taper, and I wanted to lend my support. It's going to be a roller coaster ride ahead of you girl. Your emotions are still being numbed from the subs.....there still an opiate. Your sleep is going to be inconsistent for a little while, and you may experience med-mild symptoms, depending how fast you taper. I agree with the other posters that you'll need support. I've learned that I couldn't get clean on my own, and I needed a boat load of support to help me. Today I've got 126 days, which I NEVER thought was possible. I also took Gabapentin which helped with anxiety and pain thru detox, however I was on a much higher dose than you. Salmon Oil also helped me sleep. 2 hours were better then none! Reach out girl, ask for help, don't be so self reliant. You're fighting the devil, alone. Suggestion: Could you take a "sick" leave from work for a few weeks instead of pushing yourself so much and not focusing on your recovery? Addiction is a disease!!! I'm here for you.....Experience, Strength, and Hope,,,,,were in this together! It works, if you work it!
Hi there! Congrats on your decision to get off Suboxone. It's so difficult for many of us. I jumped off it butback on other drugs until I decided to get help in 2014 and get abstinent from all of it. I have to agree with dominosarah that secrets keep us sick, we need support. NA/AA, Refuge Recovery, Lifering, Smart Recovery, the recovery community is HUGE! Many of us are professionals, myself included, but for the past 3+ years I've made time for my recovery, I know it saves me from the torture I used to live in. I hope you check it out. Keep us posted on how you're doing. The withdrawal is hard, any PTO for when you're down to nothing? Vitamins, activity, healthy food, and hot baths help a bit. You can do this!
Hello! and thank you for you posts! I am now down to ONE MILLIGRAM and feeling stable! I went from 1.33 mg to 1 mg this taper. I know that doesn't sound like much but I do believe the lower you get, the harder it gets. But I did it! It was two weeks of feeling like crap (more irritable, spacy and anxious than anything) and now one week feeling stable, so I think that one more week and I'll be ready to taper again. HOW EXCITING! I'm SOOOOO READY! I feel like it's good to have a few good weeks to get my strength back up and feel stable and strong before tapering again. I saw my dr. yesterday and he thinks I'm doing good which makes me feel good and the other good news is, he is continuing to let me do this at my pace! I'm so thankful for that. So far I haven't HAD to take time off work, but yes my sobriety is extremely important to me and I will if I have to. I feel lucky and blessed I haven't had to so far. Slowly but surely!! Some more good news: my BF and I were watching a movie and someone in it had a drug problem - he asked me if it bothered me, I said no, because it really didn't - it wasn't showing it in detail or anything (and even if it did, it makes me more sick/nauseous/disgusted than anything.) ANYWAY, he said "well I just want you to know that if you ever have an issue again, I want you to know you can talk to me." I know to most people that doesn't sound like much but for me that meant the WORLD. After being with an abusive husband who only cared about himself and how I would effect him, and who beat me when he found out I slipped I'm just Soooooo relieved that I have a boyfriend and bestfriend I can seriously talk to and I do believe that from the bottom of my heart. I haven't told him my most recent struggles yet (that I'm tapering off suboxone - b/c we started dating again a year ago after I was already steady and stable 4 years on Suboxone), but I will. I promise. This next taper may call for it. I hated being irritable with him for those few days last time and him not understanding why or doing anything wrong. OMGOSH I can't wait to be done with this! My goal was to be done by Jan. 1st. but this last taper was harder than I thought it would be so even if I don't meet that goal I'm ok with it. I would rather be slow and steady than rush the process and it not go well.
So, friends, the process keeps going and please keep posting. Your encouragement and advice is much appreciated. THANK YOU!
Hi, it's obvious how excited and relieved you are about your taper. It's great that you went to a meeting. No need to feel guilty about subs. You are trying to get off them. As they say in the program "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using."
I would say get completely honest w/ your bf now. Not next week. Now. We addicts are the kings and queen of good intentions. And honestly, again, everyone I know w/ long term sobriety, whether on here or in "real" life is committed to a recovery program. I wish a few supportive friends and relatives were enough but it isn't. We have to do the work.We have to dig in and fix the stuff that drove us to using in the first place.
Keep going and keep posting.
Im tapering very slowly, so, so far the worst symptom is irritabilty! It's awful and there's absolutely nothing I can take for it (that I know of) even if I were willing to take something addictive like Valium (which I'm not trying to do and I don't think the doctor would prescribe it anyway) I'm too tired to take anything like that so I just have to remember to take my Paxil everyday! I just went from 1 to .8 (1/8 + 1/12) or 1/6 a day - which I know sounds strange but it's the best way I knew how to get down to .66 (1/12 + 1/12 a day). Then plan on .5 (1/8) then .33 (1/12) then .25 (1/16) then 0. That's the plan. Even though I know some people are going to say I should be able to go down .25 at a time it's just harder and I'm still working so this is what seems to be working for me...to go down about .16 each time but only for a week or two.
Just want to stay in bed today.
Senses in over drive - I smell everything. My co workers perfume is about to make me lose my mind. I'm sooo irritable. tired but anxious - I want to be in a dark quiet room away from everyone and everything.
I was thinking about the sneezing....omg....for like a month i sneezed incessantly. The senses do go on overdrive. When i got that irritable a hot, epsom salt bath is what i would do. Music in my ears and soaking!!! Its not a miracle cure.....but it does help.
Wondering if increasing my Paxil would help with the irritabilty and anxiety or if I should try something natural - just not sure about mixing even natural things with the Paxil...hmmm. I'm on the lowest dose of Paxil they make but it has helped me tremendously (before my relapse when I was completely sober). May try gong up 1/2 every other day during this time. My dr once told me before I could go up when pmssing so I know he'd be ok with it. Any thoughts?
Don't mood stabalizers and anti depressants take time to build up though? Like it might not give you the instant effect your looking for?
I dunno. That's what I thought but it's strange what my doc suggested - maybe different since I already have been taking it a long time? I dunno but luckily I'm doing better at the moment. The worst anxiety usually only lasts a few days after a week of tapering...so... Just making it through the worst and going forward. :-) not easy but just keep swimming
Stable on less than 1 mg now. I think I can I think I can...
Yep...a rollercoaster ride. Ready to kill my co worker again for spraying enough smelly stuff in the air to make me vomit - ugh don't they know I have super woman senses currently?!? Lord please help me not punch or cuss anyone today.
4th day on .66 mg. Day 4 seems to always be the worst - mostly the terrible irritability but also some body aches. It must be true it stays in your system 3 days because I don't feel a difference until day 4 - so gotta stay strong the rest of the week and preservere!
6 days on .66 mg - calves are hurting bad tonight all my muscles are tight. I took my neurontin but it's not going to fix me tonight. It's not that bad - uncomfortable but I know it could be worse - another week and I'll feel normal again - another week after that and I think I'll be strong enough to taper to .5 mg. I think i can i think i can! Just keep moving fwd!
Today is worse than last night. Am i getting a cold or experiencing withdrawals? Legs feel better but Body feels like I'm fighting an infection. I'm sweaty then cold, head hurts and soooo tired. Lord give me strength!
Finally stable on .66 mg.
I finally told my boyfriend and I'm so glad I did! He was understanding, supportive and now I don't feel I have to do this completely alone.