Self Soothing

[Bkitty2]

I learned today in therapy that when I start having bad or suicidal thoughts that I need to learn to "self soothe" myself. (No not like that :) ) In the past obviously I self medicated to soothe myself. That's not an option and I was just curious what some of you all do to soothe yourself.

((hugs))

Bear with me. I have a lot of demons in my head I need to deal with. I also was told I need to reach out. That is hard for me to do.

[Bkitty2]

I am also so very thankful for all of you here. You are my friends and that means a lot to me. XO

[Bkitty2]

We went out and watched the meteor shower my husband and I. I lost it thinking about our miscarriage. I cried. He said that is the first time I have ever cried in his arms and he fought me and eventually I let go and let him hold me. I needed that. I stuff my feelings. I have a massive headache from all the crying today. guess I had to let it out and that was my self soothe-for the day.

Right now I have insom nom nom nia. I cant sleep and Im hungry LOL

[VICourageous]

Ok Kitty this is the truth for me. When I was in my 1-40days of detox I had a lot of Anxiety and I was able to go because of being so anxious. I got back home at 40 and rocked in a chair back and fourth and everything seem like a dream..My Hub, Property, Home, Even my material things like Jewelery and Clothes, Dogs it all seemed strange. Then I went into more and more stages. A very weak one and that was the worse. I am used to multitasking and working hard. Well Daaaa I got so darn Wired up on my 2 meds.Anyway this has been a new life for me and I had to except the things I could do only when I could do them. If the laundry was in the dryer for a week, that was a good thing. If the trash was on the porch and not taken to the garage then that was good, weeds need pulled ..See all these little things that I used to be so compulsive over were triggers for me to get wired up. SO I had to change and do it in baby steps. NOW to be honest it took me almost 11 months to have some natural energy to do these things. I was to weak and sick to do full blown out exercise which I did at first. Everything changed and it all is now coming around for the best..SO Maybe you just need more time. Take a deep Breath and take them Baby Steps right now. Some might heal faster then others but you were in a real bad situation that will take time for you to come around..OK give your self some time..You will get better.
Oh yes I had a really good cry about a week ago and it felt good!
Bless!

[meegWpaw]

kitty when I read the part about you crying I just started to cry.  in some ways I relate so deeply to your struggles.  like others, it is very hard for me to self-soothe.  my therapist told me to ask myself what it is I need.  that has helped.  also I combine that with something Vickie (courageous) told me about slowing down.  how you have to slow down and breathe.  I do that and then I ask myself what I need.  if it is food, sleep, rest, whatever.  I don't always listen!  but it has helped me move toward 'self-soothing.'  I know it is painful but I think it is good that you are crying.  it is better than feeling numb or nothing.  I am so glad to see you posting and sharing with us ... much love, girl

[weaver71]

Tears wash the pain away. If you can hurt, you can love . I have felt the physical deep pain in my heart, for long periods of time. I expect to feel it again. Like I said, I don't always feel it, but I remember that I have had hope. I have always talked about a deep longing, I want to live for something more important than feeling good. Purpose and potential are all I have at times. The least inaccurate description I can use is God. I've cursed God and asked to die, if my life has no purpose. I am still alive, so I chose to believe that I am here for something more than feeling good. I don't know if I 'm making sense. Knowing there is hope, but not having to feel it. That dark place you describe is so familiar to me, but I keep fighting and having faith in my potential. It's real hard, to say the least. I'm glad you are reaching out, taking rides, making memories and friends. Feed those things, keep doing, Keep fighting, you will find your way.

[Bkitty2]

I did have a light bulb moment today. When she told me I was grieving (the miscarriages, loss of my mom and sister to drugs & alcohol) loss of myself-it made sense. My therapist said she would be very worried if I wasn't crying. I haven't cried in a long time. It all came blurting out I couldn't even talk or catch my breath.

[Bkitty2]

Its funny I used to do all those things. Now I am having trouble doing those things. Today I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. I couldn't stop. I physically have a deep pain in my heart. I feel it. Im having a hard time finding those things.Its palpable. I have some passive suicidal thoughts. I also have very morbid thoughts. So they told me I needed to learn to "self sooth" when having those thoughts. I am learning all over again. Its funny I got sober and went to treatment. I did great. What happened? Why? My concentration is poor so I cant seem to focus on reading or watching a movie although I did go see a movie Friday night. It was helpful. I was depressed-it seems to come in the evening more so. I went on the motorcycle with my husband. That helped a lot. I still feel really disconnected from the world. Things feel weird like how they do when you first quit the pills & start doing stuff without them. That's the feeling. My husband always says "Go do something for yourself". I find it hard to do that. I also have been instructed to cease communication with Lucifer (mother)  & my sister. And what do I do-call Lucifer when I left IOP. Im an idiot.

I used to enjoy taking care of myself. Always had my hair and makeup done. Had my nails done and tanned. I just lack the motivation. I did get up today and get in the shower and put some make up on (first time in months!) and went to IOP. I am back to taking baby steps. I feel like I am starting all over again. Does this make sense? LOL

[weaver71]

I just had a very intense experience, I think I know where you are coming from, partly anyway. Since I got clean, I have had a few times that I was really happy. Not a lot of childhood memories I want to live through again, but those times in sobriety that really felt right. In my darkest hour I hold onto that memory. I can't feel it, the world is crashing around me, but I meditate and remind myself that I can be there again. I really put my heart and mind on progress over perfection. I can't say I felt soothed, but I came through without really doing anything too stupid. It may be different for you, but if I can hold on and not do anything to make it worse, I come out of my lows for awhile. That is good enough for now. Each time I make it out of depression, it adds to the hope of success. So, when I'm really at the bottom, I chant my old saying, "I can't make it easy, so I have to make it worth it."

[vicki595]

Like ImDone...I never reached out...even to the ones closest to me. When I finally did it was a huge help to me and remains one of the reasons I'm here today...

Self soothing (interesting term)... Let's see... For me it's generally something physical (not that) like cooking for everyone, working in the garden, etc...the physical activity is calming to me. My husband tells me that I'm the most calm when I'm folding the laundry...Really Dave??  lol.  In the past, vacuuming was always a stabilizing activity and don't ask me why but I did it often and it made me feel good...non physical calming activity is reading. I love to read and usually read a couple of books per week. Seriously.

So that's me...what would soothe you?

[VICourageous]

Hi Kitty. Well I like to go down to the lakes or rivers and swim with my Dogs. They are so smart and cute and also innocent. I like to do things out here in my yard because I have many flowers and a veg garden. I have 5 aches and I walk around it and see all the wild flowers. What really makes me smile is all of my Wild life. I like to see what they are eating..Like what berrys and such. I also like to kick back and watch all my old westerns. There is so much beauty out here in this world so I try not to see the bad right now..Only the Good. I also like my Old Time Music it really Soothe my Soul..lol
You are getting there and make sure you do reach out and touch someone.
Bless

[ImDONENoMore]

And reaching out is always good.  I was never very good at that until after I quit.  Always thought I could handle everything on my own.  Wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong.  It's funny, that seems to be a common denominator for a lot of us addicts.  Not willing to reach out and ask for help.  Wonder why that is.

[ImDONENoMore]

Meditation.  Playing with my dog (BIG TIME stress-reliever).  Walks and time in the sun.  Those work pretty well!  :)