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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Sex , Sex? Sex!

Sorry, just always wanted to start my own thread, and figured what a better topic, right?  But now I'm charged with stating something to propogate an interesting thread, so here goes ...

Let's see ... hmmm ... ah, yes, here's one for you: One time many years ago during my first addiction to Vicodin, there came that moment (as it will inevitably for ALL Vicodin users) when no matter how hard I tried, I simply could not score even a single pill, let alone a whole prescription.  But addicts are desperate people, right?  And desperate people do desperate things.

So I'm sitting there on the sofa, sipping a whiskey, aching like crazy, and trying to find a (preferrably fast) way out of this predicament ... when the whole time the answer lay right there at my feet.  I eased down onto my knees and slipped out the (loaded) Ruger 20-caliber rifle that I always kept under the sofa. And then very methodically (and carefully) I lined up the barel perpendicular to my left calf muscle, took a chugging gulp of whiskey ... and pulled the trigger.

I actually thought I missed at first, because I felt absolutely nothing ... then gradually a dull, throbbing ache began to set in, a tiny trickle of blood appeared ... and Presto-Whamo: a two months steady supply of Vicodin at my disposal.  And as for my calf: "Hey, nice, shot, man!"  Missed every single major artery, vein, nerve, and even the bone.  Went clean through.  Hurt like the devil, though, when that ER nurse tried to run one of those betadine-soaked wooden Q-tips through it.

Nobody said addiction was pretty, man.  Cheers!
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Avatar universal
God, the things we do!  One time when I was kick methadone and heroin I was so desperate and couldn't figure anyway to get any drugs--I was completely broke and there was not a doc in the world who would write me a script because of all the track marks on my arms.  I didn't go as extreme as you, but I dropped a BARBELL on my foot and broke about 8 bones.  They did give me some morphine at the hospital, which turned out to be a really big disappointment because my tolerance was so high that I barely felt it.  

So
Avatar universal
accidentally hit "enter," was just going to finish with:

WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT DOPE?????
Avatar universal
Goodness, alexandra_r, that to me would take even more "balls" than shooting myself in the leg.  Wow, eight bones, huh?  That's sort of why I intentionally didn't aim for my foot (like they do on TV), because I didn't want to criple myself, just get a little dope.  Speaking of which, I'm guessing that irregardless of your obvious fracture(s) that they still noticed the track marks and probably sent you home with some wimpy codeine or darvon, huh?  If even that.  Anyway, thanks for sharing.

Oh, and P.S.: you do, um, realize that you posted a response to a "sex" topic within 40 seconds of my starting it?  :-)  Heehee.
Avatar universal
yep--that thread DEFINITELY caught my eye~!
Avatar universal
This thread caught my eye because I thought it was going to be about how good sex becomes again after you get clean! lol

It really does you know. Your sex drive and ability to orgasm all go back to normal.  Yay!!

I haven't read or posted in a few days so I have a lot to catch up on.

I'm doing well.  I'm not taking the oxy anymore, though I still hurt like hell, yesterday I just couldn't bear the though of getting physically dependant on anything again. So, I stopped, and had not been on it long enough to get physically addicted.
The good news is that I did not feel even tempted to abuse it while I was on it this past week or so.  Hubbie kept the bottle and gave me the prescribed dose when I asked, and that was that.
I don't know what would happen if I went back on it long term.

I saw my spine Doc today and he ordered a new MRI and an epidural shot, and is sending me to a surgeon for an opinion about fusion.  I won't accept fusion, but I"ll listen to the surgeon's opinion.

My hubbie also finally got a job, after getting laid off 2 months ago. They are making him take a hair drug test, and we are nervous because he smokes pot. That's all he does, but it is one of the drugs they will test for. We're just praying that it is not a problem.  

Hope everyone is doing well! I'm coming up on my one year mark on 8/26, and my friends have all convinced me that I did not ruin my clean time by taking medically prescribed oxycontin, since I did need it and did not abuse it.

lots of love to all, and please take good care of yourselves! We addicts do go to great lengths for the drugs. When I first learned I had to have surgery last summer I was happy because I knew it meant an endless supply.  I felt so sick for even having that thought!

love,
WW
Avatar universal
Funny you should mention the better sex thing, Witchywoman, because I posted something about that just today on another thread.

Anyway, I'm glad things are going well for you, but a quick word of caution if you haven't already read about this: beware of Ultram should it ever be offered to you as a "non-addictive" alternative.  Read some of the Ultram addiction nightmares on this board.

Though Ultram is a very effective pain blocker (there isn't much of a buzz), to folks like us, it's the devil in a purple poka-dot bikini.  Good luck with your back and stuff.  Cheers!

--memikey
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