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396099 tn?1216258586

Should I be on the anxiety forum?

Well  I went back and re-read my own journals.  100 days (or so) clean and I've had big bouts of ups and downs regarding anxiety.  Early on (15 days) I had a full blown anxiety attack and went to the ER where they told me no you're not having a heart attack it's just anxiety.  I then learned about PAWS and figured I was going to be in for a ride with this.   Well there have been weeks where I've been my "old self" and weeks where it's like I'm always just a little bit afraid all the time.  I'm in a down cycle now to the point where I took a xanex this morning.  And I hate... absolutely HATE the idea of it.  But I need to function for my family today.  We're going to a parade.

I've been fighting hard to do this on my own without substances but now I just don't know.  I feel fear and depression lurking around the fringes of my mind all the time lately (last few weeks).  It's really wearing on my state of mind and disposition.  There are enough problems in my house without me falling apart.  I'm the glue right now.  I can't fall apart.

I love this board and all it's taught me but I'm starting to think that I've had Generalized Anxiety Disorder all along and the opiats were maybe a tool for me to deal with that.  I've got a family doctor ready to put me on Lexapro and I've heard great things about it.  I just hate pills soo freaking much.  Am I maybe being foolish here.  

Anyway.  I was thinking that maybe I should spend some time over on the anxiety board.  I don't know.. I hate to make a decision this big while not clear minded.  And yes I realize how stupid that sounds.. ughh...

Can anyone relate to what's happening to me?  Am I just in a regular PAWS funk or should I be climbing out of this by now.  Any opinions greatly appretiated.
16 Responses
Avatar universal
100 days.....You're so far ahead of where I am, that I can't relate. I do however relate to your pill aversion. I also hate to take any type of pill, if I can keep from it. The fact seems to be that the zanax, and maybe the lexapro, helps you enough to keep you from running for an opiate. My opinion is that you should us them as sparingly as possible, but use them, if you must. Since you've had to seek help at a ER, it seems reasonable to help yourself remain focused. Don't develope another habit, but do what you must to function. Just my opinion. I wish you all the luck.
352798 tn?1399301754
The is nothing regular about PAWS the word ACUTE is in there for a reason. Some of us need help by other means such as Lexapro. I am on Zoloft and it helps me be sane. I don't like it either but I hate how I act without it even worse. I would look at taking an amino acid protocol for anxiety. Then, if that doesn't work, you may need something in an Rx.
Avatar universal
I think you should let dr know what you are going thru.
396099 tn?1216258586
Thanks!  I hear you both and appreciate it.  I guess it's time to really deal with this.   I'll talk to the doc about Lexapro.  From everything I learned about it it seem like it's almost exactly what will help and there is less chance of true addiction..  I KNOW from reading this board that I don't want to "dance" with xanex for very long.  That stuff scares me a little in that it's another possible addiction crutch which is absolute HELL to get off of.  Maybe I need to temper my dislike of pills and be reasonable about it.  ughh...this is one tough week.  This place is a godsend.  Thanks.. again and again..

Thanks
429432 tn?1343597790
I took lexapro for quite some time, it worked well, and it wasn't too hard too go off of. The only reason I stopped taking it was because I was up to 20 mgs and it lost its "kick".Now I'm on another SSRI prozac..sometimes your brain gets too used to the same one and you have to switch....best wishes...cat
396099 tn?1216258586
Thanks Cat.

I take it that 20mgs is on the upper end for Lexapro.  My goal with this (as well as any drug I'll ever take) is to take the absolute minimum that is effective and get *** to last as long as possible.  Even now at this moment the .5 of xanex I'm on is just at the minimum of what is useful.  I've become reeeeeely cautious about this stuff.  I'd love to say that I'll just trust my Dr but but my trust in the medical field is evaporating every day.  Especially after how badly they got my wife hooked on Oxy's.  They mean well but they are way overworked and spread too thin to stay on top of things.

Sorr.  I'm ranting a bit.  :)
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