Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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2107676 tn?1388977459

Sick, Shaky and Sad. Not the right 3 "S's

Ahhh it ***** to be here again.  I have been battling addiction for what seems like forever but it's been close to 2 years since my decision to quit and I had been using for a good 5 by then.
I was a victim 2 years ago.  I was angry, buried in grief from losing my husband and sister and had driven all of my family and friends away.
Today I am still battling my addiction and while I haven't let my friends back in, I am working on my family.
I have spent a year with the help of my doctor trying to find non narcotic pain relief for my fibromyalgia.  Lyrica, gabapentin, some names I can't remember but it involved going off my AD's, tapering off Lyrica and then adding new pills.  All the while, feeling so sick from the withdrawal from each and every new med that I tried.  Well nothing worked and I finally went to a pain management clinic.  They recommended tridural along with nabolone.
That seemed to be working okay and even though I didn't get high off of it, I found out that tridural was tramadol.
I did a quick taper from it and used Tylenol 3's since I didn't want to suffer too much.  I was recently diagnosed with an abscessed tooth, sinus infection and bladder infection.  I was so sick and he also prescribed T3's.  I was happy to take them to continue my taper and get through Christmas (which was awesome).
So of course, I took more than I should have and tapered down and took my last pill on Saturday.  
Now I am sick, sad and very shaky.  I am back on Effexor (which was hell to taper off of), and pregabalin and fighting hard not to take too much pregabalin to ease the withdrawals.  Luckily I have been sleeping quite a bit but I'm awake now and feeling like hell.
It just seems like I have been through a year of fighting not to go through this hell and here I end up again.
18 Responses
271792 tn?1334983257
Hi Honey....

Geez Pat you have been at this a long time. I don't have any answers for you because I don't know all of your medical history and I don't know the drugs you are on because they are different in Canada. I just wanted you to know that I am here to support you and pray that you get on track and end the insanity. Sending hugs.........
2107676 tn?1388977459
Thanks so much IBK.  I love this forum because even when we feel like giving up on ourselves, there are so many of you that will never give up on us.  
I still have some fight left in this old body.  Here I go again.
495284 tn?1333897642
We never give up on someone that is worth fighting for Pat~
2107676 tn?1388977459
Ah sweet Sara.  Thank you for never giving up on me. It keeps me coming back and posting when I am at my lowest.
You all always manage to lift my spirits.
2083449 tn?1381358308
My dear friend. I feel like I'm going through this with you. I so want you to find peace and happiness, and comfort. I will never give up on you, and I won't let you give up either. You will win this battle if I have anything to say about it. Focus on today, and just today. You have helped so many of us. I don't know how many times you dragged me out of the dumps with your wonderful sense of humor, and your kind and caring heart.  We will get through this like we have before. We stick together.

That's all I got right now. Still not awake yet. Love you so much!
2107676 tn?1388977459
Thanks my dear.
I'm just feeling so ugh right now.  Mentally and Physically.
You know I can never fake it.  That's why I need all of you.  You really do give me the lift that I need to get through this.  I thought I could do it without posting this time.  Made it to day 3 but day 3 is always so tough on me.  
Thanks for being my friend.  I don't know what I would do without you.
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495284 tn?1333897642
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