So sad Tonight

[troubleinohio]

i feel so crapppy right now. Not sure how many of you would remember my brief mentioning of a new friend I had made last spring/summer. she lives next door to where I used to live with my children's father. We got to be fast and good friends and then i found out she was addicted to pain pills and i was really bummed out about that because I had been clean for quite some time again and was afraid Id fall back into the pills again if i continued to hang around her every day like we were. Well that didnt happen anyways because as most of you know, I left the jackass and moved to another town with my kids so obviously i havent seen her much either. We talk on the phone alot and have seen each other a few tiems since I left. Then last night i talked to her and she was telling me all these horrible symptoms she's been having lately and I asked her if she was out of pills and she said yes...been out for about 4 or 5 days now and I told her well it must be WD's and I tried to help her as much as I could with all th e knowledge Ive learned here. Well, she went to the Dr. today and it turns out that he thinks her cancer has come back (she had skin cancer many years ago, ) but he thinks its spread to her lymph nodes and stuff now. She has to undergo a bunch of tests to find out exactly whats going on but I feel so bad for her. She's a mess right now. I just got done talking to her again for a long time and she doesnt know how she is gonna tell her kids she has cancer again. she also is afraid this time ti wont be caught in time and has been given a death sentence. I wish I knew more i could say to her. Ive only dealt with a bad cancer once in my life when my father in law got pancreatic and gall bladder cancer but he was 93 and he was ready to go, he wasnt even upset about it and took it like a real trooper (I sure didnt take his death well though, i loved him like a dad). ANyhow I feel at such a loss right now, not sure how to comfort her. The only way I know how is to cook her foods and make visits with gifts of thigns to make her more comfortable ?  ugh this *****. she's such a nice person too =(

[troubleinohio]

thanks ladies. I have to run a bunch of errands today as we are under  a winter storm warning for up to 10 to 12 inches of snow for late today and tomorrow. Im going to stop by at her house and bring a bunch of my chicken noodle soup and some gourmet breads (she loves that stuff) and just sit and talk with her as much as we can. I also have to see the Jackass because he hasnt done a thing about getting that health insurance for the kids like he finally promised to do. Im not looking forward to THAT visit. ughhhhhhh give me strength not to go insane!!!!!!!!

[dominosarah]

I am sorry to hear about your friend.  Hopefully they have caught it in time.  As for right now go and be with her, talk to her and dont worry about saying the wrong thing.  There is no right or wrong.....just be there and be her friend.  When my dad was sick with brain cancer it was always so nice when others would bring food.....gave us time to spend with him.......sara

[corey411]

Hey, you wouldn't believe how much it helps just to have someone who's there to talk to and that you can rely on for support. I'll bet that she needs that right now more than anything. If you think that being there with her would threaten your sobriety maybe she could make sure her pills are hidden if you go tp visit. Sometimes you don't know what to say or do bc their is nothing you can do to change her prognosis or the feelings that come with it. Sometimes people avoid a person bc they "don't know what to say"...or sometimes we say something stupid bc it's better than nothing. Just saying I'm here for you anytime and calling and supporting is the best gift that I think you can give her. She may need time to be able to talk about her feelings at first but she'll know that she has someone who cares and will listen when she is ready and needs to talk or cry.

I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers. GBU, Corey

[kim715]

I will keep you and your friend in my prayers......Kim