Hi & Welcome,
Addiction doesn't discriminate so it doesn't matter how bad your habit was. You qualify to be here.
Is today your first day without anything? If so, tell us what you are feeling and we can give you some suggestions.
Also, since you have been through this before, what do you think you will do differently this time so that a relapse is not in your future?
Hi and welcome. I'm in the throws of detoxing. If I can do it than anyone can. My addiction has aost destroyed me. You belong here. And yes, what is going to be the difference for you this time because if you don't make changes in your life and get support you will most likely use again. Everyone here has the same story. We are addicts. One is too much and 1000 is never enough. There will NEVER be enough pills to take away your pain. Pills only push the pain down but it's still there. I have been going to NA and post here a lot. Do you have access to NA meetings? We make this addiction to be more than it is in our minds. What is helping me right now is I take myself to the dr and get my script in my mind. I think about taking my pills and then I ask myself, ok now how do you feel? I know if I use again, my partner will leave me.
Anyway, hope this helps. Hang in there!!!! You can do this!
hey bro i read your story and its a page from mine.. i went through a divorce about 3 years ago and thats when i started using, im detoxing day 1 today and i really dont have any advise but id like to keep in touch with you, its always easier to go through this with someone then to be all alone. maybe we can help each other through this
thanks for everyone's fast responses i'm just trying to hold on it's getting pretty bad i''ve started having really bad hot/cold flashes I was able to get a few clonidine thankfully and 2 bars of xanax which i only plan to take if i absolutely have to. Addiction runs in my family my sister had to go through benzo withdrawals and i dont want any part of that period. ive been in and out of the tub 4 times already today which only helps about 10 mins and then its goosebumps sweaty hands and just feeling like i want to pull my hair out but i know i can't do this anymore. i refuse to take anything away from my daughter including myself and that's all pills are good for..taking away things..be it pain, emotions, reality, but also your money, your sanity, and your life. And even though i'm hurting now it wouldn't even compare to the pain i would bring my little girl by not being there and being able to support her.There is a church-based thing here called Celebrating Recovery but they are a little too preachy, dont get me wrong i believe in god i just dont want every other phrase to contain him you know? That's why i'm trying online and i'm already amazed by the support i just gotta keep up the good fight and hope i can do it cuz right now it ***** haha
Hell yeah bro I really appreciate you wanting to keep touch because all of my family and friends don't know and after what happened with my sister I don't think they could handle it. So it's great to have someone who's doing it too, well it ***** that anybody has to go through this haha, but you know what I mean :)
Have u checked out the the thomas recipe/amino acid protocal?Get the supplies.Clonidine really helped me a lot.I took xanax too just use the smallest amount possible+wait til the anxiety is unbearable.Ur doing the RIGHT thing for sure.I know exactly what u mean a lot of get not remembering who we were b4.Ur gonna b happy2find our u were probably pretty great.I know u will definitly b a better BF+parent.The key to STAYING clean is AFTERCARE.Ur on the right track.Keep posting look n2the thomas recipe(immodium a must,natural sleep aids,natural anxiety aids will do wonders).Dont forget2stay hydrated.U dont wanna ending up n the ER for dehydration.Just keep reminding urself what ur working for(that family w/that little angel on the way who needs her daddy clear headed).CONGRATS on the baby+ur decision2quit.If the the anxiety gets to b too severe dont relapse try the natural stuff if it doesnt work go to the Dr.
Thanks for the suggestions I have looked up the Thomas recipie and I actually have most of the basics I'm just waiting this stuff out it ***** time just seems to stop I tried to do a little cleaning to try and occupy myself I can only do it in small spurts cuz it seems I get winded easy then I go sit on the couch and try to watch tv but my eyes keep wandering back to the clock thinking ok almost 24 hours but I know I have at least 72 hrs of this crap and it starts getting better day by day but god it seems like such a long time away but at the same time my girls due date is in November and that seems so close haha
Well I had to take a half of one of my xanax hopefully it will help me calm down I've had 2 panic attacks so far and I know it's just the beginning hopefully I can get some sleep
You got this buddy. A good positive attitude will help you more than anything. You must cut all ties with any suppliers or it will sneak up on you when you think you have control. Going forward, just worry about today. You have to take care of you right now so that you can be better for those that love and depend on you. Keep it up, the worst will be over in a few days. Then you can put together a plan for the longterm. I am rooting for you. Congrats on a new life. You can do it.
Day 2 I can't even get out of bed I told my girl i have a stomach bug and got her to bring me the trash can which is gross but it's better than hitting the floor I guess. The crappy thing is my dealer called this morning and I told him I was stopping and that I felt like crap and he actually got mad and said that he could front me some til payday which made the mental part that much harder but I told him no and that I couldn't mess with him anymore. So hopefully he will leave me alone and I can get through this day at 6pm it will be 48 hrs since I've taken anything
48 hours is doing good. About 1/2 to 2/3 of the way through the worst of it. Morning should be a better day
Well I wish I could say day 3 is better but it's gotten worse exponentially I can't keep anything down except Gatorade and I'm starting to rethink this whole cold turkey route but Im just trying to keep telling myself if you go back now the last 2 f'n days of crap was all for nothing and that I'm almost to the end. I think I've developed a respiratory infection cuz when I sleep (not much) I guess my sinuses drain into my lungs I know that's gross but anyway is it normal to be running a small fever? I've only been up to 99.9 but I didn't think fever was a withdrawal symptom and if not then I do have a freakin respriatory infection which with my luck will turn into bronchitis since I'm a smoker I want some pills so bad just to take 100mg and melt into the couch but I know if I did I would regret it....blah hopefully tomorrow will be the turning point that's all I can hope for...
believe in yourself, you can do it..i started the process today..i'm kinda depressed about it but i know that in the end it will be better for me and my family..however i do have valium and xanax to help cuz this isnt the 1st time i tried cold turkey..the whole RLS thing really *****..i can handle feeling like **** but what i cant handle is not being able to sleep..i only plan to use the valium and xanax the first few days..no more than a week..i want to be 100% clean with nothing in my system..thats my goal..i took opiates to hide the depression but i know in time i will feel better and probably better than i have ever felt..i dont even remember what i used to feel like...i have been addicted for about 6yrs and tired of pills dictating my life..i know i'm gonna feel really bad but i just keep telling myself it wont last forever..i read up on this stuff alot here and ive heard more that the worse is within 48-72hrs from stopping the pills..and from there it gets better...please tell me ive gotten the correct info..if anyone knows differently plz let me know...i was going to ween down but ive decided i cant do that...its all or nothing with me..so for me..its cold turkey or i will never quit...good luck..wish you the best
yeah it's usually 72 hrs when the physical symptoms peak for me its been a little longer. it just depends on your metabolism and the severity of your dose/ length of addiction i can tell ya that today is a lot better than yesterday i still feel like molasses in January but as far as the vomiting and sweats they are pretty much gone :) i still have cold hot flashes and some mild rls but today seems like ive turned a corner :) Keep posting on here these people are amazing and we will give you all the support you'll need to kick this monster. I had to quit i was also using to cover depression and that's no way to live my habit was only 3 years but it fluctuated at first it was only 4 or 5 hydro 10's a day then it got all the way up to 3 oxy 40's at a time! I have weened myself down to 10 10's a day and then on September 19 i quit. and let me tell ya the first 3 days for me was utter complete hell im not trying to scare you but it really was the hardest three days of my life but i had to do it I have a baby girl on the way and there's nothing i wont do to be able to be there for her and her momma. and if that means feeling like crap for a few weeks then that's just what it means i have to suck it up and just get it done. i'm gonna keep posting and you should too it really helps knowing that you aren't alone :)
you are not scaring me..you are just being honest and i appreciate that..its not peaches and cream and i'm glad when ppl are upfront and honest with me...this is a time where i wish time flew cuz this is one of the hardest thing i have ever had to endure..thanks for your support and know i am here as well if you need someone to chat with..i'm so happy to hear you are kicking this cuz oxys are nothing to mess with...my brother is in prison cuz of those things as well as 4 of my cousins...very happy to hear that you are doing this for you and your baby..but remember its also for yourself...well its been 24hrs since my last dose of norco...and actually i dont feel as bad as i thought...i was a mess earlier..a lot of crying and no self worth but somehow i got up the energy to get in the bath and converse with my kids and that seemed to help..they deserve their mom, not someone just lying in bad crying and sleeping...i am praying that if this is the worse i feel i can handle this...i was at the point of about10-15 10/325 norcos a day and sometimes i threw about 10 750mg vicodin in there as well..i guess to some that might not be as many as others but to me that was enough to say..this is ridiculous and its time to stop...you get to the point where its never enough you just wanna pop more and more and more..this is no life to live especially when we are behind in alot of bills and housepayments and here i am spending money on pills..its not fair to my family...this forum helps a lot..i am thinking tomorrow probably wont be so good but as long as i have immodium, B12 and my valium (for help with sleeping) i'll be ok...i'm gonna beat this and i vow to never get addicted to anything ever again..unless its something positive like working out, walking, etc etc...is awesome to know we are not alone..take care chrs and good luck ..stay in touch with me cuz i have been wondering about you even though i dont know you i still wonder
its almost been 48hrs since my last dose and actually i feel pretty good...with the help of the valium, energy shots and B12...i have to say i really think i can do this and hell will freeze over before i touch another norco...ahhhhh....but tomorrow could be a bad day wont know until tomorrow comes...good luck to whoever is going thru the same thing...we can do it just put ur mind to it...
Sorry it's been awhile since I've posted I messed up and relapsed today is day one back on the wagon I just have to learn to control my anxiety...
I need to go to rehab but I don't have the money I just wish I would've never took a pill but I guess it's too late now. Now I just have to pick up where I left off...god please give me the strength to do this, I don't want to lose my family
Just try again if you can. I know it is hard, I know it s u c k s and if you start saying I can't then you can't. You have a lot of reasons to do this, but the biggest one if for yourself. you are worth it and therefore your family is. Keep coming here it does help. It really helped me. Take care.
i'm sorry you relapsed...dont be so hard on yourself...things happen..YOU CAN DO THIS...i havent posted in a while either and tomorrow will be 1 week without any opiates...and i feel great actually...i have my moments...i broke down at work, cried and cried but i told myself i have to do this and i stuck to it...its all mind set chris...i do really think you were on them worse than what i was just from reading your posts..but trust in yourself...the first 72hrs was bad but it seemed to me it got better...i still have the depression but this day in age who doesnt...i went to my doctor yesterday and spilled the beans...many of my friends thought it was a bad idea cuz they said it would be in my file i was an addict but i am so serious about being done with this i told the dr everything..so now i wont be able to get anything if ever needed as i dont want to anyway...god forbid something happens to me (accident) and i only receive while in hosp well so be it...im tired of this life style..i told my dr how much i was taking and he told me the dizziness should be gone by wed or so...today...no dizziness...i am lazy, i have no energy and thats ok...dr said it could take up to 2 months to get that back..he said the brains receptors are still telling my body hey you need those opiates to move but i dont have them in my body so in time my brain will start doing what its supposed to and i will produce the energy again...i totally understand what you are going through..i almost relapsed to when i got so sick but i told myself NOPE..and now i feel much better and within the next few weeks i should be even better...PLEASE TRY TO DO IT AGAIN...dont let these stupid drugs run your life and possibly ruin it...i have insurance to pay for rehab but i chose to do it home cuz im sure theres still some to pay...and i'm like you..i dont have much money...my husband and i work our ***** off and still cant get ahead to save ourselves...i counted down every hour...when i got to hr 96 i knew i was passed the worse of it..you can do it...trust in urself and not to sound cheesy ..pray...honestly..i dont go to church nor pray...(nothing against it , i believe , i just dont worship for reasons) but when i was going through it i honestly prayed to god to help me get thru it the sickness and i done it...not sure if it was him or my willpower, maybe alittle bit of both..well yeah and valium...lol...but dr told me no more xanax and i stopped those and he said taper off the valium...i took 1 5mg today...and he told me take 3 5mg today and then break in half 3x tomorrow and then be done...nope...i'll just take one today and be finished...good luck chris...do it for yourself first...i know you said u have a baby on the way but you have to do it for you...baby doesnt know about your addiction...you do...some might think thats out of line to say but its true...kicking the habit has to be for yourself first..your health..the chances of u over dosing and not being around for your gf and baby...in this case...think about yourself first..kick it before baby comes...YOU CAN DO IT..need anyone to talk to...i'm here...i surely can relate in many ways...theres oxys all through my family..thankfully i never really got into those...
OMG i cant thank you enough for posting the thomas recipe...it helped me through it all...i couldnt believe it...i was still sick but i know it would have been MUCh worse without this recipe..i'm 1 week clean and feel very good...tired and no energy but i have the mind set of kicking this and i have no intension of ever doing it again...seems like its never enough..i could pop and pop and pop and i still wanted MORE...thanks again for the posting the recipe...you sure the hell helped me...i told my dr about it yesterday and hes looking it up..he found it very interesting...thanks again...
Well I decided to get back on the wagon I haven't had anything since 11:00 am yesterday and then that was only 40 mg (half my normal dose) it's not that bad I just hate these hot/cold flashes and sweaty hands and feet I don't feel nauseated at all which is good. No appetite but that will come I'm just taking it hour by hour and I know it's got to get better eventually the only way it won't is if I don't stop thanks Lostinthought I really appreciate the encouragement and congrats on a week I know you can do it and so can I :) keep me updated
well i'm 11 days clean today..i feel pretty good other than the yawning is coming back and no energy but i'm just counting down the days until my energy level is back to normal..hopefully soon cuz i have no desire to go anywhere or do anything...unfortunately work is NOT an option so that i have to do...depression is better today...yesterday was horrible...other than that i feel fine...just tired all the time and to be totally honest i dont really think about pills as often as i thought especially being my husband still takes them...i just asked him to keep them out of the house as he has so far but 1 time and i was pretty pissed at him..good luck chris ...try your best to stay with it because eventually you will feel better...trust me...i'm 11 days and i didnt think id ever feel better...i was pretty confident on the 5th day that i could do it..so far so good and i know you can also...keep in touch
Well it's day 12 sorry I haven't posted lately I've just been forcing myself to stay busy an believe me with only a month left until my baby girl is here there is plenty to do hehe I'm still having some light physical stuff like yawns and rapid fire sneezing and of course I still get cravings but I can tell everyday is getting better. I got back on my antidepressant and it should start working in the next week or two. They put me on zoloft and klonopin for my anxiety attacks but I'm being super careful to only take the klonopin when I absolutely need it. I tried to go to a NA meeting but they were just a little too preachy for me so I'm just gonna use this as my online NA haha thanks again to everyone who has sent love and support I really couldn't have got this far without you guys. I hope everyone who is doing this with me is staying strong and clean :) one love...chris