Starting today

[Rdelgado23]

Today I am going to start my taper off of vicodin which I have taken irresponsibly for over a year. I also take Fioricet, flexeril, and have been perscribed Zoloft which is about week 5. Also going through Klonopin withrawals which has made me shake like crazy. The zoloft increase caused me a week and a half of nausea which has finally subsided. I'm so scared. My two children are counting on me and like many, nobody knows what I'm really going through. My doc is overseeing the klonopin withdrawal and it seems to be going ok, but I have not disclosed the vicodin problem. I always seem to replace one drug for another just to stay numb. I'm trying to be gentle with myself, but the guilt can be overwhelming. Any support or advice is appreciated. Thnx!

[Rdelgado23]

Thank you for your advice. Now that I'm not as numb, I'm realizing that a pending divorce, long-term depression, and a toxic relationship with my first "addiction" who's a guy I've been obsessed with since I was 13 (23 years) are making all of this very difficult. Trying to raise two young children and having lost most of what I had during my marriage including my home, I have numbed myself into a terrible mess. I will need the support of professionals to get this life back on the right track. I'm worth it and my beautiful happy loving children deserve their mom back! Thank you all for helping me thru this very difficult first day.

[dominosarah]

Tell your doctor just what is going on.  Some of these meds you are on need to be tapered as the others have stated.  Check into some form of aftercare.  Using is only a symptom of what is going on inside you.  Keep posting here as we are here to support you.......sara

[Rdelgado23]

I'm so glad I posted. There are several aspects that I hadn't taken into consideration and your responses have been so helpful already. I will do my very best with the taper, one drug at a time, now knowing that it can actually be very difficult to control. I'll be seeking out a support group and be open and honest with my doc. Now, to just tell my parents....:-(

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

Good for you for wanting to get off of all the drugs. As Tram mentioned, you need to it responsibly and talking with your doctor would be a great way to start.

Have you ever tapered before? If so, then you know it is difficult on a good day. I don't know many members that have tapered successfully and if they did, they probably did it with help. If you have someone who can hold your meds and dose them according to the schedule, you have a much better chance. Still, I think you should consult your doctor. Coming off of everything at once is going to be rough. I would think baby steps and one med at a time would further help your success.

As far as that "numb" thing goes. that is why most of us stay on the drugs. We are hiding from some incident or some feeling, or both,. that we have never been able to deal with. One way to ensure your staying clean this time is to engage in some form of aftercare. Counseling is a good way to get to the core issues that keep you using and finding an outside support group would also be helpful. there is nothing like being in a room full of people who are just like you and can share their experiences with you. I hope you consider it.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[Rdelgado23]

Thanks for your support. My doc knows they're perscribed, but doesn't know I'm abusing. I'm now on .5 klon twice daily till my body adjusts.  Much better during the day withthe shaking but mornings are hellish. Didn't think about the fioricet. Thanks for the heads up. I'll do my research on that too. I'm recording what I actually take so I can't deny things anymore. Praying for better sober days ahead.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  Does your doc know that you are taking the fioricet and flexeril too?  If you stop fioricet abruptly, that will not be good.  Very dangerous!  Also, are you tapering the klonopin?

I know about replacing one drug with another!  I did it for about 15 years until 3 months ago.  I feel better than ever now!  

You can do this!!!  Stay rigid with your taper, never going backward no matter how bad you feel or want a pill!  

Good luck!