Staying Clean has to be #1

[Pat1956100]

Not taking a pill has to be the number 1 priority in my life right now.  It has to come first over anxiety, tooth pain, financial problems, grief, and everything else that life hits me with.
Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my husband and I had alot of triggers.
I woke up today and realized how important my life and being clean was.  I do not want to feel sick from pills anymore.  I do not want to ever go through withdrawals again.  I want to be happy and the only way I can do that is to stay pill free.
I am still really lacking in the energy department and not feeling great but it's just going to take me longer to feel better than other people.  
I am determined to live drug free.  No excuses.

[342andcounting]

Great Post. Attitude is 1/2 the battle. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know your husband is looking down and beaming with pride in your accomplishment. Keep it up. ONE DAY AT A TIME. God Bless

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

huni ur amazing a true inspiration you got it you know what ya won't with it being such a hardtime im sorry for ya loss huni stay strong we here for ya pat love ya friend in oz aj xoxoxoxo

[gnarly_1]

HI attitude plays a huge role in making it our not and right now your attitude is right where it needs to be your going to make it so long as you keep that attitude stay strong and fight hard your fighting for your life I wish you all the best with your recovery good luck and God bless.......Gnarly

[atthebeach]

hey pat,
hun you are a survivor. you are very strong. you dont need a pill. i am so sorry about the lose of your husband. i was widowed at 29 and for many,many,many  years on the anniversay of his death i had emotional breakdowns, extreme sadness and thoughts of despair. my weeks right around the anniversary day were terrible. grief is horrible.
we are alive. we need to continue to live.it is hard to accept the death of a loved one. there is denial,anger,sadness, the what if's.
you are learning to live life on its terms without the use of pills to numb you. you are doing awesome. remember one day at a time.
sending hugs and prayers
debbie

[dominosarah]

You have to be the No1 priority and do whatever it takes to stay clean.  I think you had that "aha" moment!  Now take it and run~~sara

[minn66]

I agree with Jen. You want this and you will make it so.

Hugs,

Minn

[jusmejen]

Awesome post Pat. You are very strong and focused. That is what will get you through!