Staying sober when others aren't

[amber22245]

Ok so I met my boyfriend back in 2009 when I was 1 year into my addiction and he is part of the reason that I went to rehab back then...He said and I quote " I don't want someone that uses around my kids" So I got clean and we got back together in January 2010 and and we have been together for 2 years (living together off and on - off right now) So he never really used drugs ( he likes to drink beer) For the past 2 years I have been using and when I would get 10 pills he would do maybe one well right before I quit it was like I would have to split it 50/50 with him....he says " Im not an addict Amber! I don't have the problems that you have!" Well last nite he got paid and he owed my dealer 6o bucks so he said he was going there to pay her and I said you aren't getting anything right? and he said YES amber Im getting me a few for work tomorrow....I got sooo mad. He says he can quit whenever he wants and he isn't an addict but thats exactly what I said 3 years ago so who is to say that he wont be just like me in 3 years and I am not strong enough to stay with someone who is using whether it is all the time or occasional....I dont want to be alone but my being sober is most important to me. I told him if he ever bought/used/had pills after these 4 were gone then I was gone just as if he cheated on me with another woman and he got sooo mad and said he has put up with so much from me and all the "cheating on him i did with drugs" but I just cant do this ugh...I dont know if I even wrote a question or if Im just venting....im sad

[zoea]

Hun. U have to do what's right for u. Remember u may not want to use now. But if ever u do and are with him the cycle will start again.
Be good to yourself whatever the out come.
Stay strong.
Hugs
Zoe

[amber22245]

Thank u guys...he knows my bottom line and if he isn't done then we are done....his using is not tempting me thou its weird it makes me sick and ready for someone new in the future that will respect me and my new way of life

[MikeInFrance]

Amber I think it would be extremely difficult to overcome an addiction when your boyfriend is still using and you two are regularly seeing each other.  You said it yourself.  And u also know from experience exactly what he's going through now...thinking and actually believing he can stop whenever he wants. U obviously need to be concerned about your sobriety first. Sorry you're having to go through this...

[scaredmommy2005]

O Amber. You go ahead and vent sweetheart. I was with my ex for almost 7 years. My doc was prescribed and his was weed. We fought all the time because I was an addict yet he wasn't he just had to smoke 12 blunts a day because that's who he was. Then we lost our baby and he was taking my pills plus smoking. I knew we both had problems but in his eyes only I did. It took me a long time to get the strength to leave but eventually I did it. I know for a fact I would not be 2 weeks clean if I didn't leave. You must do what is right for you and when it is right for you. I won't lie to you and say that I'm happy all the time because its been 6 months since I left him and I miss him like crazy. I hate sleeping alone but I had to do this for me. You are going to make it honey you are a strong woman. I am always here if you need to talk.